


Yes No Maybe

by SatsukiLevin (satsuki19)



Series: Maybe, Definitely [2]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bromance, Canon Compliant, Chatting & Messaging, Complicated Relationships, Fluff and Angst, Forbidden Love, I ain't changing the ratings for one measly chapter of poorly written smut, Idols, Light Angst, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, SMUT IN CHAPTER 13 ONLY, Secrets, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Slow Updates, Tags May Change, Undefined Relationship, chatfic, the fuck is this tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-05-29 21:08:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 43
Words: 41,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15081764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/satsuki19/pseuds/SatsukiLevin
Summary: "It's complicated, Jackson. I do love you, but it's... You know.""Yeah, I do, hyung, I get it. That's why I said it's fine."---Jackson and Mark are a thing. Kind of.(there's smut in chapter 13, but that's it. I'm not gonna change ratings for one measly chapter.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title stolen from Suzy's song (that I dont even listen to) because I'm not creative and I refuse to use What is Love as a title.  
> Ths fic is un-beta-ed so excuse my grammar and typos and everything else.  
> SPORADIC UPDATES bc I update based on my moods.

Jackson locked his phone screen and sunk into his seat, sighing as he stared at the clouds outside of the airplane window.

 

It was at times like these where he wished that fame didn’t come with such responsibility. Being in the spotlight meant having all of his movements monitored by everyone privy to the internet; it wouldn’t surprise him if one day an anti-fan would bash him solely for the way he hangs his toilet paper.

 

Jackson pulled the windows blinds shut and shifted for a comfortable sleeping position.

 

Despite GOT7’s dating ban having lifted, and despite the fact that none of the members have actually bothered to try their luck with love, Jackson finds that there’s more to the ban than just a company rule. As time progressed, Jackson has come to the realization that none of the members can actually risk falling in love anyway.

 

Sure, at first it might be about fueling the illusion of “availability” to the fans; being single meant nothing was set in stone and the fans were free to fantasize about GOT7 according to how they see fit; either with each other or with the fans themselves.

 

It was also a matter of focus, because no dating means no potential heartbreak (or scandals) that can deter them from keeping up with deadlines or any unexpected tomfoolery such as ditching practice or breaking curfew for the sake of dates. Love can easily outweigh all other priorities and it was a huge liability.

 

But they don’t need the ban to keep them in line anymore, no, because now it’s a matter of reputation. Not the company’s reputation, but more the members themselves.

 

He’s seen a lot of these go wrong.

 

Take G-Dragon sunbaenim for example, who got hated on simply because his girlfriend is Japanese. Or Sulli sunbaenim, who received so much hate just because of her boyfriend’s image. Come to think of it, G-Dragon received a lot less hate than his girlfriend.. Sulli sunbaenim’s boyfriend also got out of the whole ordeal relatively unscathed whereas Sulli herself had to quit her group.

 

Jackson’s instantly reminded to that one time where a group of crazy fans stalked Nayeon to the point where she had to stay overnight at the company building and he shuddered. Being a female in the Korean entertainment industry is so much tougher, he thinks. No wonder JYP never really debuts more than one female girl group at a time; they cost a lot more extra attention and care.

 

Jackson’s phone lights up, showing a notification before the screen faded back to black, and he sighs.

 

Taking a deep breath, the Chinese man unlocked his phone and opened up the messaging app, the internet connection a courtesy from the airplane’s built-in wifi.

 

**Markipoo**

 

What am I to you then?

14.24

 

**Markipoo**

You’re very special and important to me.

14.25

Thats not .. rly an answer.

14.25

 

**Markipoo**

I don’t know what we are, if that’s what you’re asking.

14.25

 

 

Its okay if I tell people that yr my boyfriend, right?

14.30

 

**Markipoo**

You what

Are you srs

14.30

 

Jackson!

14.35

 

Oi

Jackson

Fucker

14.36

 

Gaga don’t ignore me you little shit

14.38

 

Ffs chill

I was ordering food and went to the toilet

Depends on who asks

Most people think I have a girlfriend. Only a handful know the truth

15.00

 

Nobody knows its you

15.01

 

Mark?

15.03

 

Sorry

15.04

 

**Markipoo**

It’s ok

You nearly gave me a heart attack

15.04

 

But it’s ok

15.05

 

Sorry

15.05

 

**Markipoo**

I said it’s fine

Look you know I wouldn’t mind if we weren’t who we are

15.06

 

Yeah

15.06

 

**Markipoo**

Putting labels on us is very difficult

Sorry

I just

15.06

 

The hate I got when my sister got married?

She’s the bride, not the idol, I’m the one who got hate mail bc I'm the brother.

15.07

 

Jacks?

15.09

 

Sorry

Look, I don’t want you to receive even more death threats just for dating a guy, okay?

15.10

 

I know

15.10

 

New Chat(s) – 2

 

**Markipoo**

I love you

Don’t doubt me about that

15.13

 

 

Jackson stared at the newest chats and typed out a reply.

 

**Markipoo**

 

Don’t doubt me about this

15.13

 

I trust you.

15.13

 

Jackson locked his phone again and closed his eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackson arrives in Korea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never in my life have I updated chapters this short but this is my 3rd fic since a near-five-year hiatus and I wanna take it slow.

A gentle shake of his shoulder shook Jackson awake from his nap, blinking blearily as he registered the hustle and bustle coming from around him. The sight of people standing around and unloading bags from overhead baggage carriers slowly made sense and Jackson turned to his left to face his softly smiling personal assistant.

 

“Awake?” she inquired, closing her Samsung Note, “We can wait until the crowd dissipates. You don’t have much on you, do you?”

 

Jackson raised his single clutch, to which she nodded, and he took that as a cue to lean back down, waiting for the other passengers to finish dragging their luggage around.

 

Two hours have never gone by so fast in his life.

 

It felt like literal seconds, but maybe that was just the nap talking. He did spend a good forty-five minutes chatting to Mark on his phone before he actually attempted to nap, anyway.

 

Actually, speaking of Mark..

 

Jackson fished out his phone from his pocket and unlocked it to find a few new chats.

 

**Markipoo**

 

I trust you.

15.13

New Chat(s) – 6

 

**Markipoo**

Bam just reached the basecamp

 

Said he landed in Korea in the morning but wanted to sleep first

 

Little fucker

15.48

 

You heading straight home later?

15.50

 

Drop by the base if you can, Bam’s staying over

 

Tell me when you’ve landed

15.51

 

Hey I’ve lan|

 

Jackson stared at the chat and erased his reply before he could send it. He can always reply later. It was a petty form of sulking (and pretty ineffective) but Jackson is still a bit hurt and he wants Mark to know.

 

“Jiaer, let’s go,” and a pat on his thigh shook him out of his reverie. He followed his team and assistant – who also happened to be his older cousin – out the plane and into the familiar scenery of Incheon Airport.

 

“Xinhua-jie, how long am I staying here for again?” he asked as they passed the people waiting for their luggage, and Xinhua flipped open her Note to check his schedule.

 

“Nine days. You have to be back in Shanghai for an Adidas commercial next week Friday. Why?”

 

Beside him, Jackson caught glimpse of most of his team crew staying behind to fetch their luggage as he himself kept on walking with his core team.

 

“Did you manage to get me the two days off I requested?”

 

Xinhua nodded, her short bob swaying beside her as she tucked her Note back inside her bag and pulled out her passport as they neared customs. Jackson smiled at the gesture, pulling out his own passport.

 

Maybe something good can actually happen this time around, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment any suggestions you might have for this fic.  
> How you want it to end, where you want it to go, etc


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double Update!!  
> Please read from chapter 2

Fresh from the shower, Jackson put on his shirt and flopped on his bed, reaching for his charging phone as his damp hair caused a dark patch to form on his pillow case. He unlocked his phone to find the GOT7 group chat being unusually quiet with only a handful of new messages.

 

**corporate slaves (7)**

 

**Jirongie**

Whoevers still outside pls buy cola and beer

We’ve run out

19.00

 

**Leadernim**

i’m still at the company studio

just finished with jyp hyung

19.02

 

i’ll buy

19.03

 

New Chat(s) - 19

 

**Markipoo**

I need chips.

Please.

Chips.

19.15

 

**Leadernim**

ok

19.17

 

**Gyeomie**

HYUNG

HYUNG

HYUNG

HYUNG ARE YOU STILL THERE WE NEED

19.30

 

GARLIC

19.31

 

**Leadernim**

???

19.33

 

**Gyeomie**

Im cooking, turns out we ran out of garlic and oyster sauce. Pls buy some? -jy

19.33

 

**Leadernim**

ok

19.33

 

**Bambam**

hey @ **markipoo** what time does @ **Jwang** plan to come over? is he even coming?

20.00

 

**Markipoo**

??

Ask him urself??

20.00

 

**Bambam**

just finished feeding my cats but still have apartment stuff to do n the fridge has food thats gonna expire soon n wanna bring em

20.00

 

alr did but jacks hyung hasnt replied yet

20.01

 

**Youngjae**

Bam don’t forget the shirt you borrowed

20.01

 

**Bambam**

ok

20.05

 

Jackson raised his eyebrows at the conversation.

 

For one, he already figured that the chat’s relatively silent since they were all together at the base camp preparing for their get-together. Second, his phone did not notify him of any messages from Bambam. Third, did Mark really just say that? It made perfect sense, sure, and the two of them haven't exactly come out to their friends about their "thing", but he's pretty sure all of them knew anyway. Couldn't he have said something nicer, such as, "I dont know"? Or better yet, why didn't he say "wait i'll ask him"? 

 

 _Grow up, Jacks,_ Mark's voice echoed in the back of his head, and the Chinese native quickly shook his thoughts away. He'd better type in a reply.

 

**corporate slaves (7)**

 

**Bambam**

ok

20.05

 

@ **Bambam** I didnt receive any messages from you??????????

Also idk if I'm coming

Rly tired

20.17

_Jirongie is typing…._

 

**Jirongie**

Sseunie

Get your ass over here

We're all waiting for you

20.17

 

Jackson chuckled at Jinyoung’s immediate reply and locked his phone.

 

Yeah, he should've seen that coming.

 

He knew how rare chances like these are and he'd be an idiot to pass this up just because of a petty, baseless vendetta against Mark. It's a rare occasion where all of their schedules had matching day offs, and they also threw this together per Yugyeom’s request. He knew how sad the maknae'd be if he didn't show up.

 

Jackson stared at his ceiling for a good few seconds before sitting up and gathering his wallet and keys and shoving them in his pant pockets. Phone in hand, he walked out of his apartment and closed the door behind him, the automatic lock clicking as he walked off towards the elevators.

 

Time to face the music.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackson meets the rest of Got7.

When Jackson stepped in, the room was warm and busy and bustling and _alive_ , despite being filled by only six young men. Okay, granted, these six men were all from JYP Ent and everyone knows JYP kids are all low-key crack-heads; even the fans have caught on to this trend. Still, despite them all being in need of an intervention or two, Got7 has always been Jackson’s family and coming back to this house felt like coming home.

 

“JACKSON!”

 

A loud voice boomed through the narrow hall, and before he could really register what's going on, Jackson found himself with an armful of lanky, bony limbs and staggered back from the impact. Laughing along to Bambam’s infectious cheerfulness, the Chinese man put him down and ruffled the younger's hair affectionately. This felt nice.

 

Coming to the dorms felt exactly like coming home to family on Christmas.

 

“What took you so damn long???” Bambam demanded, grin wide on his face as he dragged Jackson inside, the Chinese man barely having the chance to reply or chuck his shoes off and kick the door closed with his foot. Stepping in the living room, Bambam let go of his hand in favor of the kitchen and left Jackson to stand there and take in his surroundings.

 

Somehow, after months of moving around and barely able to catch a breath, standing here just felt a bit surreal. Youngjae and Mark were both engrossed in Mario Kart in front of the TV, occasionally elbowing each other in a harmless attempt to sabotage. Yugyeom sat behind them in comfy shorts, cheering both of them on and adding commentary, looking exactly like the maknae that he is despite his physique.

 

Jackson sensed movement from his left and turned to find Jinyoung walking out of the kitchen with a plate of food on his hands, Bambam trailing behind him with a pitcher of something that looks like green tea in each hand.

 

“Sseunie, help me out,” Jinyoung nodded at him as form of greeting, walking past him to put the plate of food on the table before walking back to the kitchen. Jackson obediently followed.

 

Setting the table was quite the easy task when done together, although Bambam did leave them to play a match of Mario Kart against Mark, who apparently was on a streak.

 

“You’re staring,” Jinyoung commented, nudging Jackson’s butt with his knee as he put the ladle inside a bowl of soup. Jackson glared and shrugged.

 

“The game’s exciting.”

 

The snort Jinyoung gave him in reply screamed “I WASN’T BORN YESTERDAY, BITCH” and it reminded Jackson of his own mom.

 

“What time did you land? Hyungie kept staring at his phone for the better half of the day, you know.”

 

“Somewhere around three?” Jackson shrugged -- already familiar with Jinyoung's nickname for Mark -- and plopped down on the dining chair, watching Jinyoung do the same, “Immediately went home and unpacked and showered all that. I’m exhausted.”

 

“You always look dead on your feet these days,” was the only commentary Jackson received, knowing that Jinyoung wouldn’t even bother mothering him by now. No more “make sure you rest well” or “don’t skip any meals” purely because the younger knows Jackson is an adult man who can take care of himself…

 

And that he won’t listen anyway.

 

Jackson gave a non-commited hum in response, choosing to look around and realizing that they were one person short.

 

“Where’s JB?”

 

“In his room. Hyung was playing against hyungie before but lost and then decided to sulk by finishing up some lyrics.”

 

Jinyoung fished his phone out of his pocket and moved to lie his upper body on the unoccupied side of the dinner table, probably scrolling through his SNS. Jackson knew that it wasn’t a sign for him to fuck off, though, so he stayed put, tapping his finger on the glass surface.

 

“He sulks by writing lyrics?”

 

Jinyoung shrugged.

 

“Sounds like a very Mark thing to do.”

 

“You would know, won’t you?”

 

Jackson shoved Jinyoung's shoulder, earning a grin without the other looking up from his phone screen. Jackson huffed.

 

“You haven’t bothered to fetch him?”

  
  
“I was cooking.”

 

Jackson raised an eyebrow, “You’re not now.”

 

“Why don’t you do it?”

 

“He's  _your_ husband."

 

Jinyoung kicked him in the shins, "Gross."

 

In retaliation, the elder stood up and ruffled Jinyoung’s hair, messing it up to the point the other actually yelled out an indignant, “YAH!” before moving to join the others in front of the TV. Jackson immediately went for the maknae, tackling him from behind and seating himself beside the baby giant, joining in the cheers.

 

At some point, Jinyoung had finally fetched Jaebum, the leader then calling everyone to gather and start dinner. Yugyeom immediately pointed at a dish he made himself, proud of his work and asking his hyungs to try and taste, smiling wide when Jinyoung backed him up and vouched for him. Youngjae on the other hand, was complaining about the lack of variety in drinks -- "I thought Jaebum hyung got us cola?" -- with Bambam refusing to show him where he had stashed the two bottles of coke. They were loud, Jaebum's tired, Mark is encouraging the maknae's behaviours, with Jinyoung happily watching the mess go down. 

 

It was as much of a ruckus as Jackson remembered.

 

The maknae line kept talking about recent happenings and gossip, encouraging Jaebum and Jackson to open up a bit too. Bambam had recently adopted a new cat he named Cupcake, and has already established a team for his upcoming clothing line together with Mark. Youngjae is thinking of getting another dog, and requested Jaebum’s input on a new song he’s working on. Yugyeom is thinking of investing his money in something but has no idea what. At one point, Mark started to hum a few lines from Dawn Of Us, to which Bambam claimed he had the song on his phone, and started blasting it through his phone's speakers. In the end, Jinyoung took pity on Jaebum and smacked Bambam's head, telling him to turn it off.

 

It was lively, familiar, and it made Jackson feel at home.

 

In the midst of all the ruckus, Jinyoung’s busy with monitoring everyone; pouring in drinks or fetching them the correct utensils – effectively preventing Bambam to scoop rice using a spoon and halting Jaebum from eating his noodles with mismatched chopsticks. It took a while, but the noise finally died down, with everyone choosing to focus on the food (although chatter still happened, because it's not Got7 if they can keep quiet for more than 5 seconds).

 

Mark was the only one eating in silence and complete focus, really, choosing to keep his mouth full and only grin at a few remarks.

 

Somewhere along the line between eating, laughing, choking at a bad joke and actually talking about politics and music and future plans, Jackson felt something warm perch on top of his thigh. Confused, he looked down to find Mark's ringed fingers comfortably on his lap, inching closer to the inside of his thigh. Panicked, the Chinese native shot his hyung a look, but Mark himself was busy trying to munch through some kimbap while also laughing at Jaebum's awful joke at the same time.

 

Jackson didn't know how he should feel.

 

Clearing his throat, Jackson removed Mark's hand with a nudge of his palm -- ignoring the look the other gave him -- and stood up to gather the empty dishes and deposit them in the sink. Sitting back down, he made it a point to avoid looking at the American at all costs, opting to lean over Jinyoung on his left.

 

As usual, dinner ended with a round of rock-paper-scissors to determine dishes duty, to which Jaebum and Youngjae lost; Jinyoung was cackling the loudest of all. Jackson laughed along, patting Youngjae on the back and standing up to help him clean up the table. Before he could contribute and put the dishes in the sink, however, a hand curled around his bicep and he was tugged out of the small dining hall and into a room.

 

Mark’s room.

 

“Mark? What?”

 

Jackson received no reply.

 

Instead, Mark tugged him inside, pushed him in the direction of the bed, and went back to close and lock the door.

 

Jackson’s heart’s hammering in his chest.

 

What’s going on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys please comment, I need motivation to write lol  
> Also, suggestions are very welcome, I have no idea where to really take this.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Double update in one day. Wow.

Jackson gulped.

 

Mark stood there, arms folded across his chest, brow furrowed, lips in a slight pout. He looked positively pissed, but the small pout of his lips and the relaxed jaw betrayed Mark’s imposing stance.

 

The older was sulking.

 

“Why didn’t you reply to my chat?” came the dreaded question in English, Mark’s voice in that nice deep tone that always made fans swoon – and Jackson himself, to be honest, but he’d never admit it out loud.

 

“I forgot,” the younger shrugged, keeping the conversation Korean, “I saw your chat when I woke up but Xinhua-jie was already telling me to move my ass.” It was a lie, but he didn’t need to know that.

 

Mark narrowed his eyes, “And you couldn’t reply on the ride home?”

 

“I told you, I forgot. I was tired.”

 

“You replied to the group chat afterwards,” the older scoffed, “Asshole,” rolled his eyes and moved to lean back against the closet. The insult came in English, in Mark’s biting American accent, and the Chinese winced.

 

The furrow on Mark’s brow deepened and Jackson could actually see the hurt behind his sulky attitude. Mark actually felt ignored and even though that meant Jackson’s plan worked, he never really anticipated feeling this guilty about it.

 

In hindsight, maybe he shouldn’t have pulled that stunt and just did what Mark asked him to do. The other rarely asked him for anything, anyway.

 

Why did Jackson have to sulk?

 

“Mark, I’m sorry,” Jackson sighed, deciding to use English as a form of truce, inching closer to the sulking figure. Mark didn’t move away and Jackson took that as a good sign, even if the other seemed a bit troubled. He knew why Mark’s sporting that look; the other tended to over think situations. Mark probably feared that Jackson died, or something.

 

But then again, that would make sense, considering all the death threats Jackson’s been receiving the past few months.

 

Or, wait, was it in the past week?

 

Yeah, Jackson definitely shouldn’t have sulked.

 

“I’m sorry, I really am,” the Chinese native tried again, tentatively placing a hand on Mark’s hip, “But I’m here now, aren’t I?”

 

Jackson forced out a tired smile, hand reaching out to cup the older’s jaw, stroking his cheek with a gentle thumb. Mark didn’t reply, choosing to look up and study Jackson’s haggard face instead. Their eyes met and Jackson could see the exact second Mark had given in. The older's dark brown eyes softened considerably, the corner of his lips tugging up the slightest in a small smile of relief and forgiveness and Jackson knew everything is all good between them.

 

Mark leaned forward to rest his head on Jackson’s shoulder.

 

“You’re mad at me, aren’t you?” the American asked quietly, and frowned at the rumble of the other’s chest.

 

“Never one to beat around the bush, are you?” Jackson chuckled.

 

“No, that’s more your area of expertise.”

 

“Oh, sassy.”

 

Mark chuckled and moved to nuzzle Jackson’s throat, stubble grazing his cheek, “You love me for it.”

 

“That I do.”

 

Thick fingers threaded itself in Mark’s dark locks and the older hummed, leaning into the touch.

 

“I’m sorry.” The American’s words were whispered against his skin, and Jackson felt it more than he heard it.

 

“What for?”

 

“You know why,” Mark retorted, still in a whisper, “I love you, Gaga. You know I do. It’s just… You know how I am with labels.”

 

“You act on it?”

 

Jackson’s tone was teasing, and the chuckle that followed was also light, but somehow the atmosphere just felt tense. The younger moved closer, and allowed Mark to wrap his arms around his waist, pulling him into an embrace. It was a silent plea for comfort and reassurance and Jackson scratched the older's scalp lightly. He knew all about Mark being an over-achiever. Despite Jackson being the ambitious perfectionist, Mark is the one who is obsessed with taking the right decision. The American needed to be sure that the choices he made were low-risk -- fool proof if need be. To put it simply, Mark is the type of person that spends his free time thinking about the perfect three wishes to ask a genie; three wishes that is so perfectly articulate that it cant be outwitted by the Devil himself.

 

“I will be very clingy. And sulky. And whiny. And I don’t want to be like that with you.”

 

“You don’t want to be weak,” Jackson summarized, and Mark fell silent.

 

“… yeah.”

 

To be completely honest, Jackson knew that that wasn't really the case.

 

Mark had his pride and will never want to be seen as less than a man; but the older's also very in tune and open with his feelings, never ashamed of it. He's never one to participate in a so-called dick measuring contest; If he's sad, he'll cry, and If he's happy, he'll laugh. Mark doesn't need to prove himself to anyone but himself and Jackson respects him madly for that. Which is also why he knew it's more about Mark wanting to protect Jackson more than anything than just "being weak" in front of the younger. 

 

Mark is aware of all the hate mail and death threats Jackson has been receiving. Jackson has seen it all, really.

 

Either it's him being called a traitor for prioritizing his China career to the point of "abandoning" Got7's Japanese promotions, or him being too loud and obnoxious and stealing the spotlight from everyone else. He's been called ugly and short; has received death threats for shipping reasons -- "stay away from Markjin", "let Markbum soar", "just marry Bambam already", the list goes on -- to the point where his parents also received a dozen or two death threats themselves. Jackson doesn't need a relationship scandal -- or a sexuality scandal -- on top of his anti-fans' growing list of "Reasons to Hate Jackson Wang".

 

So yeah, he does understand where Mark is coming from.

 

But then again, Mark himself has received his own fair share of hate mail themselves -- God knows how rabid Thai Jackbam fans are -- and Jackson still wants to claim the older anyway. Does that make him a bad person? Does wanting to chase after his own success and happiness make him someone worthy of hate and death threats?

 

Apparently it does, yeah.

 

Jackson sighed and kissed Mark's temple.

 

“I won’t think any less of you. I’m pretty sure nothing will change between us, clingy or not. You already are a mess, anyway.”

 

“If nothing’s going to change anyway, then labels don’t really matter, do they?”

 

Jackson growled in annoyance and flicked Mark’s forehead, “You know what I mean.”

 

“You know what I mean, too,” he quipped back, and Jackson closed his eyes.

 

“You’re impossible.”

 

Silence enveloped them; unspoken words hanging in the air. As much as Jackson wanted to insist, he knew it was futile once the other had already made up his mind. Mark can be very stubborn when he wants to be and eight years of working and living together made Jackson just simply understand and know when to let go.

 

Jackson turned, burying his nose in Mark’s hair.

 

“Can I at least have a kiss?” he mumbled into the soft dark locks, but jumped when he suddenly felt soft lips attach itself to his exposed neck. A hot, wet tongue followed soon, licking kittenishly over his pulse point, making him lean forward into Mark’s body.

 

Jackson bit back a moan.

 

“Fuck, Mark, _ah_! You and- _mhh_ \-- your shitty, _shitty_ , sense of humor,” the Chinese panted out, squirming and shuddering in Mark’s firm hold. Curse him for knowing all of the younger's spots. Well, not that it's really that difficult to find in the first place. Jackson’s naturally very sensitive -- especially around his chest, his friends at school always teased him for it -- always has been across nearly every inch of his body, and he’s just very grateful he has learned how to keep his voice down in situations like these.

 

Mark even had the audacity to fucking giggle while nibbling at his neck and Jackson wanted to smack him. He didn’t really get a chance, though, because the door handle turned all of a sudden.

 

Both Mark and Jackson froze in their spots.

 

 _Fuck._  

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again. Please comment. Comments motivate me to write.
> 
> Excuse any mistakes. I will fix them.


	6. Chapter 6

The door handle jiggles a few times.

 

Both Mark and Jackson were still frozen in their spot, staring at the jiggling handle, waiting for the door to open.

 

Nothing happened.

 

… _What?_

 

“… I locked the door,” Mark mumbled in realization to nobody in particular, and Jackson blinked. Jackson stared at his hyung with a frown, receiving a confused stare back. It took a few seconds for Mark’s epiphany to sink in.

 

_He... what?_

 

Jackson slapped the American’s chest.

 

“Idiot.”

 

“Aish!” Mark growled, raising his arm in retaliation, and Jackson stepped back to avoid any oncoming assault, a grin on his face. Mark straightened up, about to do _something_ to Jackson as a form of payback, when Jinyoung’s voice carried over through the door.

 

“Mark hyung, come on, share! I know Sseunie’s in there! He came home for all of us, you know, not just you!”

 

Jackson stifled a laugh at Mark’s face – eyebrows raised so far it disappeared behind his bangs – and moved to unlock the door. Jinyoung’s right; Jackson _did_ come home for all of them. Him and Mark weren’t anything special – at least not to anybody outside of themselves. Nobody knew about them and Jackson knew Mark would like to keep it that way.

 

Jackson opened the door to a slightly pouting Jinyoung, arms crossed over his chest. Jackson giggled and pulled the younger into a hug.

 

“Okay okay, don’t be jealous, I’m sorry,” he apologized, arm around Jinyoung’s waist as he guided the other away from Mark’s room, “How do I have to prove my undying love for you, huh, Jirongie?”

 

“Why am I friends with your cheesy ass,” Mark heard Jinyoung reply as the two walked off towards the living room, leaving him behind in his room.

 

Watching the retreating backs, Mark felt a small twinge of _something_ in his chest, and decided to shrug it off, albeit recognizing very well what that twinge was.

 

Mark had always been possessive. Romantic, possessive, impatient, with quite a temper and a flare for holding grudges. He had excellent self-control, though, and would usually never let it go that far. Which is exactly why Mark is going to gather his shit and not dwell on something as insignificant as jealousy.

 

Yugyeom peeked inside the room.

 

“Hyung? The movie’s starting.”

 

“Oh, Gyeomie?” Mark straightened up, approaching the taller male and ruffling up his hair, “We gonna marathon another series of Supernatural?”

 

The maknae whined at his hair being ruffled, “Hyuuuuung,” trying and failing to fight off a pout.

 

Mark snickered and gave in, grabbing Yugyeom’s hand and tugging him out into the living room where everyone else is already comfortable in front of the TV. Jinyoung’s right. Today is supposed to be family day. Mark can hold off on cuddling Jackson for a few hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinson spends some quality bro-time together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update! Read from ch 6!

“Hyungie seriously looked like he’s about to kill me,” Jinyoung muttered as he stepped in his room, Jackson in tow. The older flopped himself on to Jinyoung’s bed and made himself at home.

 

When the movie marathon finally ended, Bambam and Youngjae called dibs on the TV, wanting to play some video games before bed. Jackson was just about to suggest sleeping in Mark's room when Yugyeom had tackled the American in a back-hug, requesting him to sleep in the maknae's room. At the same time, Jinyoung popped up beside him and literally called dibs on him, using same-age-privileges as an excuse.

 

It wasn't as if Jackson didn't notice Mark's confused look. Mark looked torn between wanting to spend extra time with Jackson and having to perform his duties as a good hyung. Despite also wanting some extra time with the older, Jackson's soft spot for Yugyeom played a bigger role and he conceded, agreeing to sleep in Jinyoung's room. Mark could always spend a night at Jackson's apartment, anyway.

 

It resulted in a very happy Jinyoung, a very sleepy Yugyeom, and a very deeply frowning Mark.

 

“He’s probably just tired. He gets cranky when tired, remember?” the older tried to reason, taking out his phone and checking his messages. Beside him by the dresser, Jinyoung is busy with changing into comfortable sleeping attire.

 

“He literally looked like a kid who’d just gotten his favorite toy taken from them,” Jinyoung stated bluntly, throwing a clean shirt in Jackson’s general direction. The Chinese man took it and changed, shoving off his jeans and staying in his boxers.

 

“Exactly. Cranky.”

 

Jackson didn’t even look up from his phone, looking so comfortable on Jinyoung’s queen-sized bed, wearing Jinyoung’s shirt, in a pair of boxers.

 

“Please tell me you’re at least wearing underwear,” he groaned as he climbed into bed with the older, laying his head comfortably on the other’s rock hard tummy and taking out his own phone. Jackson pulled his phone aside and shot him a faux, hurt look this time.

 

“Of course I did. Who do you think I am? Jaebum hyung?”

 

Jinyoung snorted.

 

“Pfft, don't remind me,” he grinned, smile wide on his face as Jackson watched him with a mischievous grin of his own, “Remember when he used to walk around the house in just boxers? Going all, _we're all men here, nothing you've never seen before_ ,” badly impersonating Jaebum before bursting into a fit of giggles, curling in on himself to try and contain himself.

 

Jackson then sat up a bit, looking like he had just found the answers to life, slapping the covers beside him.

 

“Oh oh oh! You know how he always insisted on having the bottom bunk?”

 

Jinyoung frowned, “Yeah?”

 

“Well there were times when I was so exhausted I fell asleep on his bed...”

 

“BOkay?”

 

“… and he actually resorts to sleeping in my bunk if the living room has way too many mosquitoes or bugs. Thing is, I woke up in the middle of the night because hyung’s shuffling around in the bunk above me and I opened my eyes at the exact time he’s climbing down the ladder."

 

"So?"

 

"I could see his dick poking out of his pant leg.”

 

Jinyoung nearly choked on air while trying to contain his laughter.

 

"Boxer leg. Boxer pant leg. Whatever. Bottom line, I saw his dick."

 

“That is disgusting,” the Korean wheezed out, now actually laughing, a hand in front of his face in an attempt to help himself stop. Jinyoung’s curled up and rolled to the side, face buried half-way into Jackson’s tummy.

 

"It's impressive to be honest, like, he's uncircumcised, but--"

 

Jinyoung cackled harder.

 

“Keep it down!” someone – it sounded a lot like Youngjae – yelled from the living room, followed by a loud thud against the closed bedroom door.

 

The two friends glanced at each other with mischievous grins, giggling.

 

“Oops,” Jinyoung whispered, clearing his throat and moving to face Jackson better, “Hey, but, speaking of Jaebum hyung. He’s been acting really weird lately.”

 

Jackson put his phone aside.

 

“Weird how?”

 

“I can’t really explain, but, like...” Jinyoung frowned in thought, Jackson’s fingers in his hair kind of distracting him, “He’s still him, but just like, very fidgety when it comes to anything between me and him personally?”

 

Jackson frowned and Jinyoung sighed.

 

“I think he’s crushing on me.”

 

Jackson just stared.

 

“… what?”

 

“I know I sound like a narcissist, but he’s really acting like someone who’s having a crush. I mean, I know he’s all against skinship and anything remotely gay, but I’m telling you, he’s actively trying to act normal it becomes… _not_ normal. Get it?”

 

Jackson’s fingers stopped moving and Jinyoung could see that he’s thinking. He decided to continue.

 

“I think it’s ridiculous too, but I just can’t shake the feeling, and I really need a second opinion so I can figure out how to approach this.”

 

“Why didn’t you go to Mark with this though?”

 

“Mark hyung is too logical,” Jinyoung deadpanned, “He’d most likely tell me to shrug it off until something actually happened. You know how he is.”

 

“Okay, well. Assuming that JB hyung really is gay for you, how do you feel about it?”

 

Jinyoung moved to lie on his back, still using Jackson’s tummy as his pillow. He soon felt the other’s fingers threading through his hair again and relaxed at the soothing touch.

 

“No idea. I mean, I don’t mind. I don’t hate it, but I’m not exactly ecstatic about it either? I’ve just known him for too long. I mean, how would you feel if Mark hyung has a crush on you?”

 

Now, to be fair, Jackson tried to keep a straight face, he really did.

 

But there’s just something about Jinyoung’s deducting skills that make it impossible for anyone at all to keep a secret from him. The younger narrowed his eyes, Jackson’s silence serving as some sort of answer for him, and he sat up, staring at Jackson with wide eyes.

 

“Oh my God.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments. Please. Thank you :')


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinyoung figures out something's wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I did say this chapter will be up on Friday (bc I wanted to upload ch9 on Sat) but turns out I have a dance cover competition coming up on Saturday, so here ya go.  
> Chapter 9 will be uploaded on Friday instead.

“Mark hyung _is_ crushing on you isn’t he?” Jinyoung accused, “That’s why he looked like he wanted to throw me out of the window!”

  


The Korean idol shifted so that he’s now sitting upright, legs folded and body fully facing Jackson’s slumped, half-lying self. He looked oddly ecstatic for some reason, and Jackson has no idea how he should react.

  


On one hand, he knows that Jinyoung has no qualms with anything LGBTQ related. On the other hand, Mark seemed very wary about their “thing”, to the point he doesn’t even want to label them. Jinyoung is Mark’s best friend as much as he is Jackson’s, and he feels it to be unfair if he were the one to break the news. But lying to Jinyoung is a moot point.

  


Jackson shrugged.

  


“Yeah, kinda. I don’t exactly know if it’s _crushing,_ but yeah, there are feelings,” the Chinese admitted quietly, suddenly feeling very put on the spot, and somehow very guilty. He isn’t breaking Mark’s trust this way, is he? It’s normal to have feelings, isn’t it?  
  


“How did you find out?”

  


“It just happened. I’m not sure how it started either. Or when. It just did.”

  


This wasn’t a lie. One day the two of them just decided that a kiss was the best of course of action, and they just gradually went from kisses to touching to petting to… well, whatever comes next. And that’s the problem. Mark and Jackson’s _thing_ is based on familiarity and comfort. There were no confessions, no anniversary date. They just talked it out after sex one day, confirming that they are both in it with feelings, not just for sex, and that was that.

  


“Well what about you? Do you have feelings for him?” Jinyoung asked again, his stare now one of determination, instead of plain curiosity.

  


“I guess,” he sighed, taking his phone and fidgeting with it. There shouldn’t be any harm in admitting he had feelings for the older, right? It’s all just from Jackson’s perspective, Mark doesn’t have anything to do with it, right?

  


“You guess? Does he even know?” Jinyoung asked, and Jackson shrinks into himself a bit more.

  


“He does.”

  


Silence falls between them, a serious silence, and Jackson pulls his legs up to his chest. He doesn’t know how to justify this one. But he didn’t tell Jinyoung that there’s something going on, so it should be okay, right?

  


“Are… Are you guys dating, then?” Jinyoung asked tentatively, as if sensing the other’s hesitance, and Jackson let out a scoff. This one he knows how to answer just fine, no lying needed.

  


“Nope.”

  


“Why not?” Jinyoung frowned, “Don’t you have feelings for each other? It can’t be a sexuality crisis, we all know he’s bi.”

  


“It’s complicated,” Jackson sighed, thoughts flashing back to their conversation on his phone, and immediately felt guilty. He should’ve never opened his mouth. Jinyoung is smart; he’ll figure it out one way or another in the end.

  


Jackson needs to do some control damage.

  


“You should ask him yourself. Right now, there’s nothing really going on. Yes we have feelings for each other, yes we’re both aware, but no we’re not dating each other and no, none of us is having a crisis,” he stated firmly _._

  


_Not the kind of crisis you’re thinking of, anyway._

  


Jackson studied Jinyoung’s face for any disbelief. He didn’t find any, just a tiny hint of curiosity. It’s obvious that he didn’t really buy it, but still Jackson hopes the younger would let it slide. He’s too tired to be thinking up excuses and he actually also doesn’t want to lie. He wants to tell Jinyoung everything and ask him for help or advice…

 

But he can’t.

 

Not before talking to Mark, anyway.

 

Jackson felt something land on his head and looked up – since when did he start staring at his feet? – to see Jinyoung leaning over with a soft smile, fingers combing lightly through Jackson’s mop of dark hair. He recognizes that smile, that gesture, that aura; Jinyoung is in comforting mother mode.

 

Jackson leaned forward into Jinyoung’s chest, securing his arms around the younger’s waist.

 

“Wah- seriously? Such a big baby,” Jinyoung teased, hand still soothingly combing through Jackson’s dark locks. Jackson tightened his hold and buried his nose in the crook of Jinyoung’s neck, eyes screwed tight, inhaling his scent.

 

“I really don’t want to talk about it.”

 

A pair of lips pressed into Jackson’s hair.

 

“Okay.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something from Mark's perspective, kind of

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DOUBLE UPDATE (sort of)  
> Pls read from ch8
> 
> Nearly over 1k words, longer than all the other chapters. Hope you guys can sit through it :")
> 
> Never hold me to my word, I said I would upload tomorrow but I did today, so... Yeah.

Bodies dragged themselves out of bed, and forced themselves into gear. One opted for coffee, one for breakfast. One opted to go straight to the showers while one decided that continuing their sleep on the couch is a better idea.

  


It's 4 a.m in the morning and the house is slowly coming back to life.

  


Mark's trip to his room from the showers was interrupted, though, as he got tasked by Jaebum to wake his two best friends up, seeing as they were both still very dead to the world and didn't respond to Jaebum's knocking on the door.

  


However, Mark wasn’t really prepared to see the sight presented to him, although he honestly didn’t know what else he could’ve expected to see.

  


Seeing Jackson playing little spoon, face buried in Jinyoung’s chest and curled up in his arms shouldn’t really make Mark feel anything. Jinyoung is everyone’s mom and it is basic instinct for all the group members to come to him for comfort. Mark himself has done it many times before, it shouldn’t be a big deal.

  


Maybe it’s because he hadn’t seen Jackson in a while.

  


Adjusting the towel around his neck, Mark pushed all of his negative thoughts away and stepped into the room quietly, crouching beside the two and gently shook both of them awake. They had a schedule to attend to.

  


“Gaga, Nyoungie, wake up,” he called out softly, shaking Jinyoung’s shoulder, making the younger turn, giving Mark access to also shake awake Jackson, who didn’t budge the slightest.

  


Mark watched Jinyoung let go of Jackson to stretch, sleepy dark brown eyes meeting interrogative light brown ones. The Korean looked around, spotting the clock on his desk and groaned at the 04:12 glaring back at him.

  


“7 am radio schedule,” he answered Jinyoung’s unspoken question, “Go shower, I’ll wake up Jacks,” Mark ordered gently, tapping Jinyoung’s hip. The Korean groggily sat up, maneuvering over Jackson’s still sleeping form, stretching again on his way to the bathroom. A loud “HYUNGGG” followed by Jinyoung’s undignified yelp told Mark that Yugyeom had probably gotten a hold of the other, and he snickered into his hand.

  


Jackson stirred in front of him, probably at the lack of warmth, and Mark reached down to comb his fingers through the younger’s hair.

  


“Morning sleepyhead.”

  


Jackson frowned up at him, confusion written all over his face, before looking around as if in search for something. Mark settled down to sit on the bed beside him, taking the end of his towel and rubbing it into his damp hair.

  


“Where’s .. “ Jackson started, words getting cut off by a yawn, and Mark stared at him fondly. It was funny how someone as ripped and built and _big_ as Jackson could look so much like a child, and yet seem as if he’s carrying all the burdens of the world on his shoulders. The American reached out and stroked the other’s cheek lightly with his knuckles, not receiving much of a response in return.

  


Maybe Jackson’s still tired.

  


“Nyoungie’s off to the showers,” he answered, taking his hand back, “Come on get up, Bummie made coffee.”

  


Jackson nodded sleepily, and Mark took that as a cue to stand up, reaching out a hand to help the other get to his feet.

  


Half an hour later, most of the boys were lined up and accounted for by Jaebum, waiting for Bambam to finish picking out his shoes. Their manager knocked on the door, Jinyoung went off to drag the Thai kid out of his room, and off they went into their van and to the radio station.

  


It’s still a few minutes to 5 am, the sun barely out and the streets deserted except for a car or two passing them by. The van is dead quiet; Jaebum is riding shot gun with his ears plugged, the maknae line are all asleep in the back, Mark also has his in-ear headset in while playing on his phone and Jinyoung is beside him, staring out the window, hand absentmindedly patting and rubbing a lightly snoring Jackson’s head that’s leaning on his shoulder.

  


Mark tears his eyes away from the two 94-liners and looks out of the window.

  


Even with the guise of his phone in front of him, Mark just knew that Jinyoung would notice if he stared at Jackson any longer. The younger’s perceptive and very in-tune with his surroundings, quick to adapt with the wittiest comebacks. It’s a trait to be envious of and Mark slumped more against the car window.

  


He had a lot to think about, and nothing to think about at the same time.

  


He has that upcoming limited edition clothing brand thing, and has to ask Bambam about design updates later. He also needs to crosscheck with JYP hyung about his flight back to LA, and then there’s the sub-team track that he has to go over with Yugyeom and Jinyoung. But then again, those matters weren’t exactly pressing and didn’t need an immediate answer and Mark was at a loss on what to occupy himself with.

  


His private SNS accounts are all deserted – well okay that’s a lie, but he just really _really_ doesn’t want to talk to those people right now even though he knows them very well. He has run out of games to play, already bored with the ones he has on his phone already.

  


His eyes slowly dragged themselves over to Jackson’s sleepy frame again.

  


Black bangs are falling over his eyes, his usual snapback held securely by Jinyoung on his lap. His mouth is slightly open, and the light bb-cream they all applied this morning didn’t really do much to hide the blemishes and bags beneath his eyes. His skin’s pale and almost sickly-looking without all of the thick makeup, and Mark is instantly reminded of the last time he came home and fainted during a fan-meet…

  


“Hyungie, you okay?” Jinyoung spoke up quietly, distracting Mark from the negative feelings he could feel boiling up in his chest. The American swallowed a nodded.

  


“Yeah. Just...” Mark’s stare lingered on the Chinese leaning into Jinyoung, “He must be exhausted. I kept thinking about Japan...”

  


Jinyoung sighed, a look of understanding on his face.

  


“Yeah, yeah… It’s up to us to keep him in line, then, right?” the Korean offered, looking down to the side, brushing a strand of hair away from Jackson’s face lovingly.

  


_Wait, lovingly?_ Mark frowned to himself, _The fuck you’re on, Tuan?_

  


Mark shook his head inwardly and cleared his throat to clear his head. Jinyoung however, jumped a bit at the sound and immediately withdrew his hand as if he’d been burned.

  


Mark raised his brows.

  


“You okay, Nyoungie?”

  


Mark could _swear_ that his dongsaeng’s face had turned a bit red and somehow seemed uncomfortable – but Jinyoung had always been a pro at schooling his face and what Mark assumed he saw was gone in a flash. The younger nodded wordlessly and turned his attention back to his phone.

  


_That’s… weird…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please dont hesitate to call me out on any mistakes, typos, or my lazy writing lmao  
> I /will/ edit everything eventually, especially if I'm stuck with writing the next chapter, and your feedback will help immensely.
> 
> What do you want to see more of?
> 
> Please drop a comment, it motivates me to write.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically, a filler chapter.  
> Idk how to connect events together and tbh I've had zero ideas for this story but I want to write, so this piece of crap is the result.

“Jinyoung, chill, Mark isn’t like that,” Jackson giggled sleepily, leaning against the younger with his eyes closed. Beside him, Jinyoung’s sitting stoically, a sign of him actually feeling a bit bothered.

  


He had just told Jackson about what happened in the car earlier and is actually feeling a bit worried. He knows it’s kind of baseless, but with the information he has, he can’t help but feel… guilty? He doesn’t want to get in between whatever his two best friends may have going on.

  


The group were all seated in the waiting room, with most of them occupied on their phones or continuing their nap. As soon as Mark left to go to the bathroom, Jinyoung conveyed his worries and is met with a non-chalant shrug.

  


“He cleared his throat when I was brushing hair away from your eyes, Sseunie,” Jinyoung deadpanned, “I instantly felt like a home wrecker or something.”

  


Jackson snorted.

  


“You can’t be a home wrecker if there’s no home to wreck,” Jackson pointed out, arms crossed over his chest, “Seriously, chill, you’re starting to sound like me.”

  


Jinyoung raised his hand, about to slap Jackson’s arm as a form of retaliation, when Mark walked back in the room with a wide yawn. The older flopped down to sit beside Jackson – the only place left since Youngjae decided to take a whole couch for himself to sleep on, using Yugyeom’s lap as a pillow.

  


“Fifteen more minutes, right?” the older asked, the stubble, eye bags and blemishes painfully obvious on his bare face. Jinyoung watched as Mark leaned on Jackson’s leaning figure, making the two seem like a pile of dominoes of some sorts, and nodded.

  


“Yeah, twenty with additional chit-chats...”

  


“We don’t have anything else afterwards, do we?” Mark sighed, fingers fiddling with his phone, “Or do you guys wanna go hang out or something?”

  


“I’m going back and sleep,” Jackson announced, eyes still closed, “Maybe hit the gym before hand, but ultimately, sleep.”

  


“And you, Jinyoungie?”

  


“No idea. The house gets pretty quiet if it’s just me and Jaebum hyung, so I’d probably just go finish reading? I have a few books I – ”

  


The door leading into the broadcasting booth suddenly opened and revealed the host’s smiling face.

  


“Guys, come on in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, please?   
> Comments really motivate me to write, and also kicks my imagination into gear.  
> Like I said, I don't have definitive plot, this thing writes itself, so no stimuli from you guys as readers means slower to no updates..


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Markson finally gets some time together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, double update. Pls read from the ch before this.

**Jackson Wang**

 

**Jackson Wang**

Yien-ge <3

07.36

???

Wtf

07.36

**Jackson Wang**

My place later?

:D

07.36

You have no shame.

07.36

**Jackson Wang**

Perv

07.36

We can just hang out

We didnt have time ytd

07.37

And whose fault was that?

07.37

**Jackson Wang**

Gyeom is evryone’s weak spot

Dont use that agnst me

07.37

 

Mark giggled and looked up from his phone, locking eyes with Jackson from across the table, and smiled. The younger immediately recognized the smile as an answer for his earlier invitation and beamed back. Even amidst this five-minute break filled with socializing the hosts, Mark realized that Jackson always has an eye on him and it just made him feel… safe.

 

The interview started again, and it was over before Mark realized it. The hosts were new but distributed their times evenly; each and every member of Got7 had a say and none of the hosts got too carried away in playful banter with Bambam or Jackson – which happened way too often with other hosts, resulting in them usually overlooking Mark and Youngjae – and they were really, really nice.

 

Mark felt pretty comfy.

 

As their manager ushered them out of the building and into the van, Yugyeom had started going on about wanting to have brunch, but Bambam wanted to go home and check on his cats. Likewise, Youngjae was working on a song he wanted to finish up before he lost the mood, and Jackson voiced out his exhaustion.

 

“Okay, okay. Who do I have to drive home?” Byungyong sighed, looking over the driver’s seat to the back of the van. Jackson, Bambam and Youngjae immediately raised their hands.

 

“Oh, hyung, if we’re going to drive them, can we make a stop at the company building? I have to get something from the recording studios,” Jaebum piped up from beside him, and Mark could see the slight exhaustion creep into their manager’s face.

 

“Sure. What about you three?” he jerked his chin over to the three other members.

 

“I want food,” Yugyeom stated, half-draped across Mark’s upper body. He face looked like as if he’s sulking, lips in a slight pout and forehead adorned with a frown. He always gets like this when hungry. Mark pats the maknae’s head.

 

“Yeah, I want to eat too,” Jinyoung piped up from beside Youngjae, “Gonna come with us, Mark hyung?”

 

“Uh, I’m actually planning to crash at Jackson’s. I asked him to buy me something from China.”

 

Mark wonders when he had started to get so good lying.

 

“Alright then. Bambam’s place, then Jackson’s, then the company building, and then Youngjae’s. Jinyoung, Yugyeom, I’ll drop you off at home so you guys can drive yourselves, good?”

 

The boys all gave their own form of approvals; some hummed, some nodded, some echoed back a ‘good’.

 

Twenty minutes later, Mark and Jackson are walking inside the younger’s apartment complex, silently riding the elevator up, both engrossed in their phones. Mark blindly followed Jackson out and into the halls, stopping when the other man stopped, with his own eyes still occupied on the screen of his phone.

 

Bambam has just approved his clothing designs and materials and also added in a few price ideas; it was something Mark had to immediately forward to the guys over at 3rd Sibling to estimate production fees and cost splits. It was work and it couldn’t really wait another second.

 

He felt himself being tugged inside the apartment, and also faintly heard the sound of the door being closed, but he’s still busy typing away the email, making it sound as polite as possible. His father always taught him that attitude is the number one thing that can get you everywhere, and if Mark couldn’t possess Jackson’s charisma and chattiness or Jinyoung’s wittiness and adaptability, managing and PR stuff is one thing he’d better be good at.

 

“Hey,” came Jackson’s gruff voice from in front of him, “Earth to Markeu.”

 

“Wait, wait,” Mark mumbled out, still focused on his phone, “It’s work, babe, let me finish this, okay? Sorry, sorry.”

 

After the email to 3rd Sibling is sent, Mark shot his dad a short text asking about marketing ideas before deeming his work done and shoving his phone back in his jeans pocket. He looked up to find Jackson already gone – probably went off to his room – and toed off his shoes before padding over to where he knows the other’s room is located.

 

As expected, there the other is, lying on his front on the bed, face buried into a pillow and limbs stretched out like a giant starfish. His phone laid a few inches away from the tips of his fingers, nearly falling off the bed.

 

Mark walked over to put the gadget on the nightstand and laid down on his side beside the younger.

 

“Gaga, hey,” he called out softly, poking the other’s waist with his finger. Jackson’s reaction’s imminent; he jerked away with a yelp at the touch, rolling away from Mark and onto the other side of the bed.

 

“Gah! Maaaaarkkk!” Jackson whined, and Mark chuckled, scooting his way to the middle of the bed.

 

“How can you be so buff but also so delicate,” the American laughed, “Wuss,” adding the insult in English.

 

“Excuse you?!”

 

Jackson’s English accent is back in full strength and the conversation soon turned into their usual mess of trilingual banter. The younger scooted back into the middle and soon enough they were cuddling and giggling over stupid memes or videos on their phones and just being themselves; being two close friends who haven’t seen each other in months and wants to make every single second together count.

 

“Oh, by the way, Jinyoung told me something,” Jackson piped up in the middle of some Buzzfeed video about workplace crushes, and promptly pressed the pause button, turning to fully face a frowning Mark.

 

“Told you what?”

 

“He thinks that JB has a crush on him.”

 

Mark is silent for a second, before silently asking, “I thought Jinyoung had a crush on _you_?”

 

Jackson stared, completely confused.

 

“What… What does that have to do with anything?” he asked back, frowning.

  


“We’re talking about crushes, right? JB has a crush on Jinyoung, and Nyoungie is crushing on you, and you’re with me, so it’s pretty funny, don’t you think?”

  


Jackson grinned, “Wait, I’m with _you_? Since when?” and he watched with a grin as Mark’s ears turned visibly red in front of him, “I thought we weren’t together?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, comments please!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Markson have an argument.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains, uh, sexual stuff. As in, making out.  
> Better not read if you're uncomfy with it.

Mark’s face scrunched up into something Jackson can’t really decipher.

  


On one hand, Jackson knew it’s quite a petty move to pull; he knew perfectly well why Mark did what he did and he also knew he had zero reason to doubt the older’s feelings for him.

  


On the other hand, Jackson didn’t see what the big deal was. He didn’t like being involved in a relationship with feelings but without labels; it will lead into so much trouble and miscommunication – especially with how stubborn both of them are.

  


“Seriously, Gaga?” Mark glared softly, sitting up and putting distance in between the two of them, “We’re talking about this _now_?”

  


Jackson sat up and faced the American, hands folded across his chest, “Why not? It’s not as if we know when we’ll see each other again.”

  


“I love you! You know this!” Mark threw his hands up in slight exasperation. He really didn’t get what the fuss was all about; he trusted Jackson enough to let this whole relationship continue without any labels! Wasn’t that enough proof of love?

  


“That still doesn’t answer my question,” Jackson pointed out flatly, and Mark sighed.

  


“You know I want to.”

  


“But?”

  


“You know why!”

  


Mark looked up, genuine annoyance and frustration written all over his face. When he spoke up, it was eerily calm and very cold.

  


“We’re fucking idols in fucking Korea, Jacks. Even One-fucking-Direction in fucking UK got hated on because of Liam and Harry’s relationship and nobody really knows if it’s really real or a publicity stunt.”

  


“It’s real. I’m friends with – “

  


“I don’t care who you’re friends with!” Mark snapped coldly, eyes heated, “Their company did all they could to cover up that relationship regardless of its authenticity and it’s in a country where’s same-sex marriage is actually legal, in a way.

  


Korea doesn’t even acknowledge it. They play it off as a fucking _game_. It’s okay to kiss under the guise of fucking bromance but it’s a disease as soon as you’re officially in a relationship. What kind of fucked up – and you still have the fucking guts to ask me _why_?”

  


Mark’s tone is cold, calm, and collected, and the younger knew how furious he must be on the inside. The f-bombs being dropped gratuitously is also a clear sign of frustration.

  


Him talking so much actually meant that he’s only mildly annoyed; angry Mark would usually just clench his jaw and walk away, only to punch or kick something once faraway from the person he wants to deck.  
  


Jackson sighed, deciding to keep his calm despite knowing that he himself also had a valid point, never one to fear Mark’s cold fury. He’s been on the receiving end for far too many times, anyway.

  


“I know, I get it, I do, but...”

  


“Nobody has to know?” Mark cut him off, “Bullshit. You know all the hate message I received just because of who Grace is. _You_ read them. Hell, _you_  were the one who calmed me down. How can you –“

  


“… Are you going to let me talk now?”

  


Mark flopped down on to the bed, stubbornly frowning at the ceiling.

  


Jackson took that as a yes.

  


“Yien-ah. We’re both attractive men. We’re both not exclusively gay. We’re both surrounded by gorgeous people everyday, other idols and artists even, and we’re doing long distance. It’s a recipe for jealousy and miscommunication.”

  


“We’ve been like that since forever.”

  


“Not the long-distance part,” Jackson insisted, a bit of impatience seeping into his voice, “I used to be gone for days, or weeks. Now it’s months, with schedules back to back. I spend more time in China than here – I can’t even text you properly, Markie.”

  


Jackson’s tone is borderline begging by now, and Mark would be hard-ass to not notice or acknowledge it. And truth be told, making it official is all he ever really wants. Call him a sap – he is, anyway – but he wants to be able to call Jackson his. It’s no secret that Mark’s possessive and territorial, downright to the small things, not just romantically.

  


But the thing is...

  


“You’re poly,” Mark sighed out with a groan, raising his arm to cover his eyes in an attempt to hide himself.

  


Jackson frowned.

  


“… what?”

  


Sigh, and repeat, “You’re _poly_ , Jacks. You’ve said it before, you’re not a monogamous person. You have a big heart that can love many people at the same time and I just… ”

  


Jackson laid down on his side to face Mark, and the older continued.

  


“I’d feel bad if you couldn’t be able to meet other people because of me. Because of us. I take labels seriously, Jacks. I’d be a pain in your ass.”

  


Jackson frowned and cupped Mark’s jaw, gently turning the American’s face so they can see eye to eye.

  


“Me not being mono doesn’t mean I’m incapable of it,” the Chinese man reasoned softly, “Wouldn’t it hurt you to see me with someone else?”

  


Mark nodded.

  


He nodded, and his bangs fell into his eyes, and Jackson swore he had never seen the older boy look so vulnerable in his whole life. Mark looked gorgeous and precious and nobody could tell Jackson otherwise. He scooted over and gently planted a kiss on Mark’s throat, nuzzling his neck and wrapping his arms around the older’s waist.

  


He loved him.

  


He loved him so much and he didn’t know how to make it right. Jackson wanted nothing more than to wipe that frown off of Mark’s beautiful face; but at the same time he also just wanted to claim the older as his.

  


Jackson idly pressed kisses along the column of Mark’s neck, knowing of how sensitive and ticklish he is, tightening his hold on the other’s body when the other jerked in surprise.

  


He shouldn’t push. He knows he shouldn’t. They both have their reasons, both valid, and he supposes that Mark really did have more to lose than he did. Labels made everything official; it makes everyone act accordingly in a sub-conscious level. Being Mark’s official boyfriend, regardless of the others knowing or not, will make Mark feel as if he owned Jackson. He'd feel entitled to extra time or attention, for being on a first-to-know basis, he'd be clingy and demanding, despite knowing how irrational it all is. Mark is a romantic; he can't help his feelings. He isn't as good as Jackson in keeping his emotions in check. Both of them are aware of this.

  


Jackson sighed, letting his breath fan over the older’s neck and raising goosebumps in the skin, letting out his emotions for his lover in the only way he knows how. Mark let out a soft mewl, clamping his thighs together.

  


“J-Jacks--” he gasped, “We have a schedule tomorrow-- ah…”

  


“I can ride you if you’re not up for it,” he offered, cupping the other side of Mark’s jaw as support and leaving small bite marks across his jaw and the back of his neck. The older shivered visibly, breath hitching, and Jackson felt fingers digging into his bicep.

  


“How romantic,” Mark commented dryly, before promptly letting out a rather embarrassing moan. Jackson chuckled.

  


“I can take it.”

  


“You have -- hnggh -- shitty pain tolerance, Gaga, you -- AH! -- wont be able to sit a- afterwards,” Mark mewled out, fingers now burying itself in Jackson’s hair, holding on tight as he felt the hot, wet feel of tongue run across the expanse of his throat.

  


Jackson released him, moving to sit on Mark’s thighs before leaning in and kissing him deeply.

  


“Frotting won’t be enough. I've waited for you for months,” the younger breathed out against Mark’s thin lips, “Either I’m fucking you or I’m having your dick in me.”

  


Mark rolled his eyes and reached up to stroke the younger’s cheekbones with his thumb. Jackson seemed determined, almost desperate, and it was then that Mark realized that it’s not really about sex, after all. This is more about Jackson wanting to claim – or be claimed by – Mark. If Jackson can’t claim Mark as his boyfriend, then he sure as hell will find another way. A dull ache formed itself in the older's chest.

 

Did Jackson want him so badly?

  


Mark smiled softly and pulled him down for a kiss.

  


“Okay, fine. Fuck me then, baobei.”

  


  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Should I change the ratings for ch13? Hehe.  
> It's been a while since I've written smut, but I guess I could if you guys wanted it.
> 
> Comments, please! Thank you <3


	13. smut chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Markson have sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DO NOT READ IF YOU CAME HERE FOR THE DRAMA (instead of this poorly written sex scene)
> 
> NOTHING HERE IS IMPORTANT, just some subtle stuff, so it's okay to SKIP TO NEXT CHAPTER. 
> 
> I repeat, DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER IF YOU DONT LIKE SMUT. 
> 
> I haven't written smut in ages, so uh  
> Forgive me if it sucks

Jackson stepped out of the guest bathroom, flinging his towel over into the hamper, not bothering for clothes as he entered his room and slipped beneath the covers of the bed to wait for Mark. The older is currently still in Jackson’s bathroom, a rare thing since he is quite known for his quick showers.

  


After Mark had agreed on going all out, he had insisted that both of them take a shower first so they can just immediately cuddle and sleep afterwards. Jackson took the lube out from the nightstand beside him, placing it by the pillows, and also took out a box of tissues and condoms.

  


Nothing wrong with being prepared.

  


The bathroom door clicked open, and Mark walked out, towel around his waist.

  


“Hey,” Jackson called out, eyes raking down the familiar expanse of skin, body laid bare for him to enjoy. The grin on his face grows wider as Mark smiled and crawled over to him on the bed, slipping beneath the covers by his side.

  


Mark’s thin lips met Jackson’s soft ones and fingers threaded themselves in hair. Moving beneath the covers to straddle the younger’s naked lap, Mark’s towel became undone on its own, exposing his firm ass. Jackson could feel Mark licking into his mouth, fingers pulling lightly at his hair as the older’s lean body pressed itself flush against his own, lap straddled by strong, pale thighs.

  


“Ngh – ”

  


Jackson yanked the towel away and flung it to the floor.

  


Bracing himself on his lover’s shoulder, Mark rocked his hips forward and moaned into Jackson’s mouth as he felt their cocks brush against each other. Fingers trailed its way down from Mark’s hip to cup his pert ass, kneading and spreading the cheeks experimentally, Jackson reveling in the feel.

  


“Jacks- on,” Mark choked out, pulling away just barely so he can breathe, sharing the same breath between parted lips as he continued grinding their erections together.

  


He missed this.

  


He missed the feel of Jackson’s body pressed against him, warm and sweaty, the feel of the other’s strong arms on his body, the feel of lips against his skin… He hated to admit it, but he’s starting to feel a bit glad that he gave in to his boyfriend’s requests for sex because fuck, he really wants something in him right now.

  


“J- Jacks- ah,” Mark tried again, now moaning out the name, and ground his ass down on to the other’s thighs, trying to convey through actions what his mouth is unable to form.

  


Picking up on Mark’s silent pleas, Jackson spread his thighs and brought his knees up a bit, effectively lifting Mark up to his knees, his butt open and easy for access. Jackson reached for the lube and spread a decent amount on his fingers.

  


Pressing a soothing palm to the small of the American’s back, Jackson worked in a single lubed finger, reveling in the velvety heat, finding it oddly loose and wet already.

  


“Baby, you’re wet….”

  


“Ngh, y-yeah, ah – hsss!” Mark hissed instinctively clenching down at first, at the feel of a second finger wriggling its way in.

  


“Is this why your shower took longer than usual?”

  


Mark nodded, unable to form words. Jackson pressed a kiss to his lips.

  


“Gorgeous.”

  


It didn’t take Jackson very long to find his prostate, having memorized every inch of Mark’s body, and pushed against it, dragging the pads of his fingers across it. Mark squirmed, gasping for breath, letting out soft mewls and whines.

  


“Jjagi, moan for me, baby,” Jackson growled lowly into the other’s ear, nipping on his ear as he shoved in a third finger easily. Mark’s body went rigid, falling forward onto Jackson’s chest with a gasp, resting his whole weight onto the younger as he squirmed and trembled in his boyfriend’s arms.

  


It has always been a personal goal of Jackson’s to make Mark scream himself hoarse during sex. The older has always been way too shy about letting out sex noises – breathy moans, grunts and soft whimpers were all that Jackson usually got, especially if Mark’s the one topping.

  


Which is why Jackson always makes it a point to coax as much sound as he can from the other each time Mark offers to bottom.

  


“Ngh, ah, Gaga, ppali, faster….” came the hoarse command, and Jackson grinned.

  


Who was he to deny?

  


Pulling the tall body flush against him, Jackson pumped his fingers in faster, relishing in the sweet, soft moans and the dull ache of fingers digging into his shoulders.

  


“Ah, ah, Ga – Jacks, Jackson, stop, nghh…”

  


“Yes, baby?”

  


“In, put it – put it _in_...”

  


Mark’s whining at this point, ass clenching around Jackson’s thick fingers as it kept teasing his prostate. It had been a long, long while since he had anything in him, never one to masturbate anally, and he had forgotten how _good_ it actually feels. Prepping feels so _so_ different when someone else is doing it.

  


“Put what in, jjagi?”

  


Mark pulled away and slapped Jackson’s shoulder with a glare. The latter giggled and pulled his fingers out, straightening his legs and holding his lover by the hips. Before he could utter a word, though, Mark got off of his lap and laid down beside him.

  


“I don’t wanna ride you. I’m bottoming, I wanna get fucked.”

  


Jackson laughed. Is that a slight pout he sees? Typical Mark to be so demanding.

  


Jackson crawled over, and with a gentle but somehow predatory smile, slipped in between Mark’s spread legs. Seconds later, he could feel the thick head of Jackson’s cock pressing against his rim. The American let out an involuntary whine as his entrance was breached and immediately felt full when Jackson pushed in to the hilt in one go.

  


Mark gasped. “Oh – o, oh fuck – “

  


“You okay?”

  


“G-gimme a minute...”

  


Panting, forcing his body to relax, Mark shifted into a comfier position and jolted when he felt the thick shaft twitch and throb inside of him. Mark moaned, lifting his hips and kissed Jackson’s neck, moving his hips experimentally.

  


His soft, breathy moans filled the room as he fucked himself on his boyfriend’s cock. Jackson let him, knowing how Mark likes to be in control, allowing the older to adjust and get his fill. He knows it’s his cue to go when he notices Mark’s hips start to slow down and stutter; the other is way too blissed out and tired to move.

  


Taking over, Jackson braced himself on his elbows and started a strong, rough pace from the get go, finally ripping out a loud moan from Mark’s lips.

  


“AH!”

  


Beads of sweat gathered on Jackson’s collarbones, forehead, chest and back as he fucked into his hyung hard and fast. Mark let his eyes flutter shut, gasping for air between the litany of moans he cant stop, trying (and failing) to regain some form of control over himself.

  


His hands fell to his sides, grasping desperately at the sheets, toes curling and back arching as his prostate is brushed over and over and over again, the stimulation slowly becoming too much for him to handle. Mark didn’t know what was up or down anymore; all he could feel is the steady building of pleasure.

  


“J- Jacks, I, I – Close,” he choked out, his body way too sensitive, having gone far too long without any real contact for months. He could see how desperate Jackson was too; his thrusts have become erratic and harsh.

  


“M, me too…”

  


Mark squeezed his eyes shut, and convulsed as his orgasm ripped through him, the pleasure washing over his body only momentarily as it was quickly overrun by extreme oversensitivity; Jackson kept fucking him through his orgasm.

  


“Oh, oh, ah, Gaga, ah!”

  


Mark laid there, moaning and panting harshly, barely coherent. Lucky for him, Jackson wasn’t too far behind and crashed their lips together in a needy kiss as he came inside. Mark could feel his boyfriend’s dick twitching and softly smiled to himself through the kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm turning this into a series I think  
> Right now I'm writing something about JJPro and also about random stuff that happens in Markson's life as a Long-Distance-Relationship couple.. But idk if I'm going through with it.  
> If anyone wants to read it, let me know. Maybe I'll upload it for real.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> filler chapter

Mark woke up enveloped in warmth. Lanky, muscled arms were wrapped around him loosely, a broad chest pressed firm to his back. He could also feel warm breath tickling the top of his head.

  


_Jackson…_

  


Mark sighed to himself, sinking back into the warmth behind him, fiddling with the fingers on his tummy. The fingers were small, chubby and ringless; unlike Jackson’s familiar long and knobbly and thick fingers, with a ring on his ring finger at all times.

  


Mark snapped out of his morning day dream.

  


How he wished it was Jackson he woke up to today.

  


Mark’s mind reeled back to last week; the last time they met and the last time they had any chance of intimacy. Their time together was short-lived; they had back-to-back schedules the very next day and the one day off that Jackson had reserved for Mark turned out to be useless as a sudden emergency came up and he had to return to Hong Kong as quick as he could.

  


Sigh.

  


Mark turned around in the embrace, coming face to face with Yugyeom’s familiar broad chest, and snuggled into the maknae. He closed his eyes. _This will have to do for now._

  


At least he still has a few minutes to pretend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont kill me for the angst


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trouble in paradise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls read from ch 14

**Jackson Wang**

_July 13 th, Friday_

When are you free

Wanna skype

11.51

**Jackson Wang**

Idk

Why?

13.56

Wanna skype

:/

14.01

**Jackson Wang**

Later at 5?

But just a vidcall

Cant Skype yet

Still on the road

14.07

On the road?

15.47

  


We’re gonna call while you’re otw to a sched?

15.48

**Jackson Wang**

Yea why

15.54

Oh fuck

Whr r u

17.36

  


Sorry sorry I got caught up in recording

Goodluck with yr shoot

17.37

**Jackson Wang**

Just finished

Im beat

20.28

Ah ok

Go rest then

You need the sleep Gaga

20.28

**Jackson Wang**

Still up for that vidcall?

20.28

  


Hey

Mark

20.34

  


Heyyyyyyy

20.39

  


Mark ffs

20.40

We’re just starting dance practice

20.40

**Jackson Wang**

Ah ok sorry

20.57

  


Good luck

Dont overdo it

20.58

  


**Markipoo**

_July 30 th, Monday_

**Markipoo**

What’s the sched for today?

Or, tomorrow, ig

23.01

Hey

Uh a board meeting kinda thing from 9 to 11

AM

23.02

  


Then overseeing some talent scouting results

23.03

**Markipoo**

Talent scouting?

23.03

Yeah for JYP hyung’s China label project

23.03

**Markipoo**

Oh

23.03

Yeah

23.03

  


Then Im meeting w my producers

You?

23.04

**Markipoo**

Working on another project

The clothing line thing was a success

So I think I’m gonna work on another collab

23.04

  


Also am going to help Bummie with lyrics

23.05

What you doin now?

23.05

**Markipoo**

Nothing

Just lying here

Waiting for sleep

23.05

  


I miss you

23.06

I miss you too

You should sleep

23.06

  


I’m going back to mixing

23.07

**Markipoo**

ah ok

23.07

Jaljja

23.07

Yeah nite

23.08

  


**Jackson Wang**

_August 12 th, Sunday_

05.12

**Jackson Wang**

10.11

I miss you

11.11

_Read_

  


_August 21 st, Tuesday_

You’re in Korea?????

18.22

  


Why didn’t you tell me?

Let’s meet up

Just finished recording

18.23

  


**Jackson Wang**

Just landed :/

19.14

Ok

19.18

So we can’t meet again?

19.19

**Jackson Wang**

We can

Just come over to my studio

19.32

  


Hehe

19.33

…

19.33

  


Not funny

Nothing funny about it.

19.34

**Jackson Wang**

Its work

Its hard to get a hold of hyungnim

19.34

fine  
19.34

**Jackson Wang**

Oh cmon

We skyped ytd

Next time ok?

19.34

  


I’ll be home in two weeks

We’ll have enuf time then

19.35

ok

19.35

**Jackson Wang**

Mark

:(

19.35

_Read_

  



	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Markjin have a very short-lived moment, and Jinyoung left Mark feeling utterly betrayed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no fucking idea where this is going.  
> Let's hope for the best, guys.

It’s been a few weeks since Mark’s had a real conversation with Jackson; they didn’t even chat that much anymore. Days went by in a flurry, and before they realize it, it’s already a new month. Chats went unanswered or left on read, Skype dates forgotten or canceled. Mark sometimes kept tabs on Jackson through their SNS accounts but even that was rare.

 

He’d be lying if he said he had already gotten used to this. Sure it was nothing new and he had learned to completely trust Jackson over the years of this – whatever this is they have – but nothing he had gone through could curb the _longing._

 

He wanted to feel Jackson’s arms around him again; his lips on his own, his hands over his skin and running through his hair. He just wanted Jackson to be here. And no, it has nothing to do with the fact that Mark, in his head, has actually started to refer to the younger as his “boyfriend”. He knows it’s something they can never be, and Mark is content with what they have now ~~_coughyeahkeeptellingyourselfthatTuancough_~~.

 

Mark sighed.

 

Luckily for Mark, though, Jinyoung proved himself to be a very good distraction. The younger has been around him a lot lately; moping and looking very, very distracted, deep in thought, without really telling Mark what’s going on and just demanding cuddles from the older. It had come to the point where Mark had lost count of how many nights he had slept with – and woken up to – Jinyoung as his personal pillow.

 

“Hyung,” Youngjae spoke up from above him, Mark’s head on the younger’s shoulder, “Is something going on between JB hyung and Jinyoung hyung?”

 

Mark stopped looking at his chat with Jackson (left unreplied and unread since a good long while ago, by the way) and sat up straight, facing Youngjae with a frown. “Huh? Why?”

 

“Well...” Youngjae’s eyes drifted to the parent couple of GOT7, currently standing in front of the dance studio mirrors, each doing their own thing. Jinyoung is in the process of perfecting a move while Jaebum is being coached by Yugyeom about a few key points. Nothing really looked off about the sight, and Mark wasn’t sure what he’s supposed to be seeing.

 

Youngjae bit his lip and turned to Mark.

 

“I just feel like… There’s something going on. They seem very distant. You know that feeling when your parents are fighting? Yeah, that’s what I’m feeling.”

 

Mark frowned at Youngjae’s words and mulled them over. Jinyoung _has_ been very quiet lately. He didn’t pester or cling to Jaebum as much as he usually would, choosing to plaster himself to Mark’s side instead (or on his lap). But that wasn’t really anything out of the ordinary, was it?Mark had initially chalked it up to personal, possibly family problems, but the more he thought about it, the more Youngjae’s words made sense.

 

Jinyoung has been communicating with his parents and sisters just fine; Mark would know since Jinyoung’s been in various calls with them while cuddling up to him in his bed. He has also, however, been dragging Mark along everywhere he went, including for demo recordings or lyrics writing, without really requiring the eldest’s help.

 

Kinda seems Jinyoung’s avoiding to be alone with Jaebum. Huh.

 

“I’ll ask them later, Jae, don’t worry,” Mark smiled, patting Youngjae’s thigh before resuming his previous position on the other’s shoulder.

 

Said chance, however, never really came. Schedule after schedule kept them occupied, and Mark quickly forgot about the whole ordeal altogether after day two. Every little time they had was spent on brainstorming for lyrics, recording a random tune popping up in their heads, naps, food, or taking care of personal business.

 

Barely anyone had time for anybody else but themselves, and Mark was one of those people. He had his arms full with a small PR problem – making him reach out to a clothing brand called Represent – and some shipping complications as well. He also has to contact Tammy for that new fabric recommendation, but his sister hasn’t replied to him for a few days already and Mark’s starting to get pretty antsy. Maybe he should call her? But the time difference is –

 

Mark hissed, dropping his phone, as a dull ache shot up from where his chest collided with another person’s shoulder.

 

“Fuck,” he hissed out, the English curse word coming as second nature, stepping back from the impact, and looked up to see Jinyoung rubbing his shoulder with a wince. He smelled very nice and looked ready to go out, wearing a pair of black jeans coupled with a black-and-blue flannel shirt worn over a plain white tee. He looked a bit surprised upon seeing Mark.

 

“Ah, mianhae, hyung,” the younger apologized, “You okay?”

 

“I’ve had worse. Where you going?”

 

“Uh, out,” he hesitated, fingers fidgeting around the pair of Converses in his hand, “Why are you home? I thought you had a thing with Bambam?”

 

“Bam canceled on me.”

 

“Oh. Okay…”

 

 _Well that’s_ _a_ _weird_ _response_ _._

 

“You have a date or something, Jinyoungie? You look really nice.”

 

Jinyoung flushed, seemingly a bit embarrassed, looking down at his clothes. “Really? I swear this is what I usually wear…”

 

“ _Is something going on between Jaebum hyung and Jinyoung hyung?_ ”

 

“You going on a date with Jaebum?” Mark asked, taking a random guess, and Jinyoung looked genuinely shocked at the suggestion. The younger gaped, his face clearly betraying his thoughts, and Mark placed a hand on the other’s shoulder.

 

“Okay, I guess you’re not. But we also know that your simple “no” answer is taking too long. What’s going on?”

 

“A… a lot,” Jinyoung answered meekly, averting his eyes and opting to look at his socked toes instead, “But I haven’t processed it in my head, yet, either, so I don’t know what to tell you.”

 

“You like him?”

 

“No idea.”

 

“He likes _you_?”

 

Jinyoung snorts, “If he does, he’s got an odd way of showing it. Besides, he’s straight.”

 

“… sounds like it’s the reason you’ve been hogging my bed every night.”

 

“Yes, but no. _Yes_ , hyung is the reason why I’ve been sleeping with you, but, _no_ , it’s not an unrequited love crisis kind of thing. It’s way more complicated than a “I fell in love with my straight hyung” cliché.”

 

Mark eyed Jinyoung, now obviously starting to look troubled, and sighed. The American stepped forward and pulled Jinyoung into a hug by his waist, holding him tight. It took him a few seconds, but Jinyoung finally moved his trapped arms (releasing his hold on his shoes) to wrap around Mark’s neck and buried his face into the older’s neck.

 

 _You always smell nice,_ Jinyoung thought with a sigh, nosing Mark’s hairline, and felt more than heard Mark’s laugh as the other’s chest rumbled.

 

“Thanks,” he giggled, and Jinyoung’s face coloured red as he realized what he had just done.

 

“Guess you’re not so straight after all,” Mark continued, teasing, and Jinyoung retaliated by biting Mark’s exposed shoulder lightly, not in the mood to break the comforting hug so soon.

 

“I’ve never explored my sexuality, hyung, let me get back to you with a confirmation,” he grumbled out sulkily, and Mark pulled away with his trademark wide smile.

 

“I’m always available if you ever need help with that,” he grinned, and Jinyoung froze as the suggestive words ran through his head. Mark was still grinning innocently at him, clearly not aware of what his words implied, and before Jinyoung could remind himself how Mark never really had a real grasp at proper Korean, his mouth had already formulated a reply.

 

“But what about Jackson?”

 

Jinyoung immediately stepped back, palm clamped over his mouth in reflex, eyes wide as he realized the impending damage. Mark’s eyes mirrored his, wide in shock, and Jinyoung knew he fucked up.

 

“Wh, what about Jackson?”

 

Mark’s tone was a tad bit defensive, the question posing as some sort of challenge, and Jinyoung’s scrambling for an answer when the front door suddenly opened, revealing Byungyong standing in the doorway.

 

“Jinyoung-ah, are you done? Jackson’s plane will land soon in a few – Oh hey Mark. Thought you were out recording?”

 

Jinyoung took another step back, hand still over his mouth.

 

"I, uh, I gotta..."

 

Jinyoung grabbed his shoes and hightailed it out of there in just his socks, slamming the door shut and dragging a very confused and suspicious Byungyong away. He could faintly register his manager asking about why he's holding on to his shoes instead of wearing them, but all Jinyoung could think about what the complete and utter look of confusion and hurt on Mark's face.

 

_Fuckity fuck fuck fuck._


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please read from chapter 16.

**Jackson Wang**

_September 14th, Friday_

**Jackson Wang**

Ik ik, icb it either

18.41

 

Just don't overwork yourself.

What are you doing?

18.41

_Read_

 

_Yesterday_

You busy?

00.13

 

_Today_

 

You're in Korea?!

You're coming home and didn't bother to tell me?!

13.54

 

WHY?!

You can't reply to me but you can ask Nyoung to pick you up?!

Fuck you, Wang!

13.55


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new story has been added to this series!  
> It tells the story of Jinyoung and Jaebum (if any of you are curious about their story line) because this story focuses solely on Markson.  
> I don't want to put two plots in one story, especially because JJPro's case is as convoluted as Markson's.
> 
> Please go read SObeR for any of you interested :3

Jackson climbed into the van, greeted by an anxious-looking Jinyoung.

  


“Dude, you okay? You look constipated? Is that any way to welcome –”

  


“Mark’s angry.”

  


Jackson stared, barely registering Byungyong and Tianyu getting into the seats in front and driving them away, too busy with trying to decipher Jinyoung’s announcement.

  


“… why?” he asked, dreading the answer, and Jinyoung’s frown deepened.

  


“Because he’s home and Bam canceled on him and he found out I was picking you up?”

  


Jackson frowned, “Wait he’s upset because of that?”

  


Jinyoung slapped his arm.

  


“Ow!”

  


“Why wouldn’t he? His boyf – “ a quick glance at Byungyong, “Best friend is coming home earlier and he has no clue! Of course he’d be angry!”

  


“Nyoungie, I’m not here for leasure. You’re here with me because you’re the only one without a schedule today. I’m sure Mark hyung understands that,” Jackson reasoned, trying to placate his best friend, but Jinyoung merely seemed to freak out even more.

  


“You weren’t there, Sseunie!” Jinyoung winced, “I swear he looked.. Looked...”

  


Jinyoung’s face contorted into one of guilt, frustration, fear and hurt, and it was all Jackson had to see to comprehend how bad it probably was. Nodding placatingly, Jackson spread his arms and let the other hold him. If the situation really is as bad as Jinyoung made it seem to be, Jackson is bound to come home to some shit and he isn’t sure if he can handle it right now.

  


After all, Jackson did come home earlier due to health problems. He had left Xinhua in Hong Kong to take care of the meetings he couldn’t attend and to clean up some of the mess he had caused by being unable to show up to his schedules. She had been so worried about his health that she just gave him two days to recuperate before having to face his Korea schedules, sending one of the staff, Tianyu, with him.

  


Jackson also purposely asked Jinyoung to come along and pick him up so they can chat about the younger’s “Jaebum Problem”, knowing that Mark has a rap-verse recording scheduled together with Bambam anyway. He wanted his coming home to be a complete surprise, and besides, he’s only one day ahead of schedule. Why should Mark be upset?

  


“Jiaer,” Tianyu suddeny spoke up from the front seat, his Korean slightly accented, “You should text your big sister, tell her you’re here. I reported but she said she wants to hear it straight from you.”

  


“Ah, right, thanks gege,” and Jackson pulled away a bit from Jinyoung to pull his phone out.

  


It automatically connected with the van’s built-in wifi and it wasn’t long before his phone flooded with notifications. It took a few seconds for the gadget to stop vibrating, but once it did, Jackson immediately went for the messaging apps, opening his Line and scrolling to look for Xinhua’s name.

  


The words _fuck you_ passed his sight and Jackson stopped, scrolling back up because who the hell would send him hate messages, in English no less? Did a sasaeng fan get a hold of his private number? Even worse, did an international sasaeng fan get a hold of his number?? If so, then how? Since when? Have they tried to hack him?

  


With a dozen paranoid thoughts running through his mind, Jackson’s heart pounded against his ribcage.

  


When he read the name of the person who had sent him said message tho, his heart plummeted straight down to the bottom of his stomach.

  


_Shit._


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Jinson and Markgyeom time, basically. Brothers comforting brothers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bear with me here okay guys  
> I promise we'll have another Markson argument in the next chapter  
> I'm already writing it, just gimme time  
> I need motivation to get the feelings in right

“Just stay the night,” Jackson sighed for what felt like the thousandth time, “You know Mark hyung needs time to cool off.”

 

The older turned from his back on to his side,Jinyoung kept his gaze firmly on his socked toes, hands folded on his lap, head still running a million miles per hour.

 

“I know what you’re thinking. He’s not my boyfriend, I told you. It’s not your fault. I’ll deal with it myself later, okay?”

 

Jackson sat up and pulled Jinyoung from the edge of the bed.

 

As planned, Byungyong had earlier dropped off the two young men at Jackson’s apartment before driving to the JYP building with Tianyu. The two 94 liner’s hangout date is completely canceled though; the thing with Mark earlier had turned their mood completely (more Jinyoung’s than Jackson’s, to be honest, the Hong Kong native is way more accustomed to this) and Jackson just decided to stay inside and watch a movie or something while listening to Jinyoung rant about Jaebum.

 

Instead, Jinyoung seemed way too troubled and guilty to even relax. Jackson guesses he could understand. He knows how strongly the younger felt for Mark. He also knows about Mark and Jackson’s feelings towards each other, and kept labeling them boyfriends despite Jackson insisting that they’re not.

 

(Technically, Jackson’s not lying, either.)

 

Jinyoung refuses to be a homewrecker – to which Jackson calls bullshit because there isn't even a home to wreck in the first place – and most importantly, is terrified he might have to pick a side. Jinyoung could never pick a Got7 member over another, much less pick between Mark and Jackson. The Korean male’s train of thought is honestly hilarious to Jackson, but he supposes he can understand.

 

“Nyoung. Come on. I told you it’s fine. I can deal with Mark hyung.”

 

“I know. Sorry.”

 

Jackson gave him a pat on his back, “You owe me a story.”

 

Jinyoung waved it off. “Jaebum hyung is just being vague again, it’s nothing.”

 

“It’s not nothing if you keep thinking about it,” Jackson insisted, and he sighed. There’s no escaping if the Chinese man is determined; he’ll keep pestering you until you give in. Deciding that it’s better than thinking about Mark and wallowing in guilt, Jinyoung leaned back into Jackson’s chest, letting the older wrap his arms around him.

 

“Jaebum hyung let me kiss him. On the mouth.”

 

“ _What_?!”

 

A few miles away, all the way in the JYP building, Mark burst inside the dance room he knew Yugyeom was in. Ignoring the maknae completely and making a beeline straight for the sofa beside the stereo, Mark planted himself on the furniture with a scowl.

 

If Yugyeom found it odd, the maknae didn’t say. He simply continued his routine where he left off, focusing on to the mirror and watching himself move. It only took a minute for the song to come to an end and start itself again from the beginning. Grabbing the towel from the floor where he had last discarded it, Yugyeom walked over to his older brother, wiping sweat off his own face.

 

“Wanna talk about it?”

 

He received no reply, and Yugyeom tried to assess Mark’s emotions. His jaw was set, face in a permanent scowl, eyes hard and focused on his phone screen, body stiff and annoyance is running off of him in waves. Mark is angry, most likely also frustrated and Yugyeom racked his brain for a solution.

 

“Hyungie,” he began, squatting in front of Mark and hooking his chin over the older’s knees, “I’m hungry. And pretty tired. Come eat with me?”

 

He tried giving Mark his cutest aegyo, pleading puppy eyes maxed up. It took him a few seconds, but Mark finally looked away from his phone and caught his gaze. The older’s eyes softened considerably, followed by a curt nod. Grinning widely, Yugyeom stood up and gathered his stuff before reaching out a hand and pulling Mark up to his feet.

 

The walk down the floors and outside to the nearest barbecue place was completely quiet. None of the two tall boys had their phones in their hands, choosing to walk side by side in silence instead.

 

Yugyeom patiently waited. He knew his big brother like the back of his hand and opted to wait for Mark to grow comfortable and calm before asking the older to spill the beans. It probably had something to do with work or family, because Mark rarely ever got seriously angry about anything, annoyance being the only emotion he usually showed.

 

Walking inside the shop, picking a table, giving their orders, all were done by Yugyeom while Mark had just trailed closely behind before sitting down beside him, now fumbling with the end of Yugyeom’s shirt sleeve.

 

Yugyeom let him, not paying it much attention and choosing to look around instead, mind drifting off.

 

“It’s Jinson.”

 

Yugyeom snapped out of his thoughts, Mark’s soft mumble reaching his ears.

 

“Jinson? Jinyoung hyung and Jackson hyung?”

 

A nod. “I can’t… Tell you without going into details...”

 

“If it’s about those two… Uh, you feel left out?” Yugyeom guessed, and felt relieved when Mark nodded. This he could work with.

 

“You feel like Jackson hyung’s closer to Jinyoung hyung than you?” he tried again, and Mark hesitated for a few seconds before nodding again.

 

Now this Yugyeom could not help with.

 

There is nothing he could say that could cheer the older one up; he knows how special a bond those three have – lovingly dubbed “the messiest love triangle” by Bambam – and decided to just do his job as maknae. He knows why Mark had come to him and he’s going to do his job right.

 

Lifting an arm, Yugyeom reached around Mark’s shoulders and pulled him close.

 

“Food is all you need, hyung.”

 

“Not funny.”

 

“Wasn’t trying to be. It’s a fact. What did you teach me? “Pork is love. Pork is life.”?”

 

Yugyeom cutely awful accented English made Mark chuckle a bit. He sat up straight as a waitress came by with their meat, Yugyeom’s arm still draped loosely over his shoulder, and felt his mouth water at the sight of food.

 

A small voice in the back of his head is whining, wishing how nicer it’d be if it were Jackson sitting here beside him right now, but …

 

Mark knew Jackson had read his angry chats and left him on read, and Mark was furious and hurt. But rationally, he knew Jackson didn’t like to fight. Rationally, he knew Jackson is giving him space and will wait for Mark himself to approach when he’s ready. Rationally, he also knew Jackson might feel guilty. He’s probably also scared or reluctant because an angry Mark is a scary Mark that intimidates even Jaebum.

 

Sigh.

 

“Hyung?”

 

A pair of chopsticks are pressed against his lips, the grilled meat smelling delicious, and Mark opened his mouth.

 

He should stop thinking about Jackson. They’ve been together for a long time; they’ve faced more things, worse things.

 

And if Mark chose to forget the fact that he and Jackson aren’t technically together and that the other is actually in no way obligated to Mark in way what so ever, well.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arguments don't always have to be loud.  
> Miscommunication isn't always the reason for an argument, either.  
> Sometimes an argument has zero to do with the problem at hand.  
> Sometimes you just want to hurt the other, to let them feel your hurt.
> 
> But behind an argument, it's always, always, pride doing the talking.

“We need to talk.”

  
Jackson looked up from his phone screen, meeting Mark’s searching eyes. He looked nervous, anxious, apprehensive, uncomfortable, but also incredible adorable with that slight blush coming from exertion, it really made him want to reach out and stroke that cute face and coo and Jackson wonders why his thoughts are running off.

  


Maybe he’s too tired. There’s too much he had needed to catch up on.

  


It’s 4 am and the boys have just finished dance practice, finally getting it right after hours and hours of trying. Jackson felt a bit guilty. The group kinda fell behind because of him and his mistakes and his inability to move accordingly. He swears he is usually way better on his feet than this; he’s a quick learner. But he has constantly been feeling under the weather lately, this past three days worse than usual.

  


He has gotten more and more advertising offers lately; that on top of his reality show schedules and his own personal musical career, Jackson has a lot – too much, actually – on his plate. His whole situation with Mark isn’t really helping either. There’s a lingering foreboding feeling following him everywhere because of the older. Jackson’s concern for Jinyoung also just made everything worse. He can’t help but worry. Thank God the maknaes are doing just fine…

  


Jakcson stood up, his stuff and phone in each of his hands, and nodded.

  


“Sure. Where?”

  


Mark merely stared at him for a second before turning around and marching off, approaching Bambam. He seemed to be saying to the Thai boy, to which the younger nodded, waved at Jackson over Mark’s shoulder, and left with the others. Mark stayed where he was, by the door, waiting for Jackson to pass him and exit the studio.

  


“What did you tell them?” the Hong Kong native asked as they joined the others in front of the elevator, but Mark just shrugged.

  


“Mark hyung,” Jaebum called, “Will you be staying the night over at Jackson’s or not?”

  


“He said he will,” Bambam offered, busy on his phone, and Jackson frowned. What was this? Mark didn’t tell him anything about staying over? By his side, Mark nodded towards Jaebum.

  


“Yeah. Don’t worry. My phone’ll be on.”

  


“Good,” Jaebum mumbled, “Don’t want you disappearing on me like yesterday.”

  


_Mark disappeared yesterday?_ Jackson turned to look at Mark, face puzzled, who merely shrugged again. “I was with Gyeomie.”

  


“Whose phone was off too.”

  


“I ran out of battery,” Yugyeom whined from the back corner of the elevator, “Besides, I got him home safe and sound, didn’t I? I took good care of hyung!!”

  


“I still wonder who the big brother is between you two,” Youngjae laughed, and as if on cue, the door opened itself. That seemed to be the end of the conversation, Jaebum shooting Mark and Jackson a last glance.

  


The boys filed out, each going towards their own vehicles and destination. Jackson walked towards his own car, feeling Mark trailing closely behind him. He chose not to say anything about what happened earlier, merely unlocking his car and sitting in the driver’s seat, watching Mark slide in quietly beside him. After checking every thing's in order, Jackson started the engine and took off.

  


None of them dared to break the silence.

  


Mark kept on alternating between fiddling with his phone to staring out the window, while Jackson kept his focus on the road. In Jackson’s defense, he felt way too tired and too sick to care about whatever Mark might talk about. The older could dump him and Jackson would only nod in defeated acceptance (yeah okay he’s exaggerating because he’d never let Mark go, but, details details.)

  


Jackson drove, parked, got out of the care, locked it, and slouched over to the elevators, Mark trailing close behind him like a lost puppy. Both boys seems tired out of their minds, one seemingly more bothered than the other, while the shorter looked like he could pass out any second – even with the cap worn so low it hid his eyes. His movements were sluggish and slow and he felt as shitty as he looked.

  


Mark followed Jackson quietly into the apartment, still hesitating how to start the conversation, watching as Jackson seemed to not even care a single bit, making a beeline towards his bedroom, his bed and proceeding to dropping his body on it like a dead fish.

  


Rationally, Mark knew how tired Jackson must’ve been; that the younger is also very sick and needed all the time he could get to sleep or rest. On the other hand, Mark felt angry and sad that Jackson didn’t even seem to care a single bit about their relationship.

  


Mark hesitantly made his way over the side of the bed where Jackson’s lying face down, and just stood there, thinking of what to say.

  


“Gaga,” he spoke up after a while, “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming home?”

  


“I wanted to surprise you,” came the muffled response. Jackson’s response was immediate, not missing a beat, sounding as if he’d already been anticipating for such a question. Mark hesitantly lowered himself to sit on the bed, twisting his body a bit to face Jackson.

  


The younger, on the other hand, didn’t move a single muscle.

  


“Then why have Jinyoung pick you up?”

  


“I wanted to surprise you.”

  


“Why didn’t you come straight home?”

  


“You were angry.”

  


“So? You could have replied my messages. Or called.”

  


“You were angry.”

  


Okay, yes, Mark was angry. But what did that have to do with anything? Sure, Jackson knew better than to deal with an angry Mark, but surely he should’ve known that Mark is more sad than angry this time right? They’ve known each other for nearly 8 years by now!

  


“ _So_?” Mark retorted snappishly, folding his arms across his chest.

  


What was Jackson playing at here? Sounding like a broken record, like an annoying human version of Siri, face buried in the pillows as if he couldn’t care less? Did he even care?

  


Maybe he didn’t care at all.

  


Mark opened took a breath and opened his mouth, ready to tell Jackson off, when said man rolled over to lie on his side, catching Mark’s gaze, and Mark felt his words leave him.

  


Jackson looked _horrible_.

  


Despite his handsome face, the fatigue and sickness showed through very blatantly, especially without the thick makeup hiding his heavy eyebags and uneven skin tone, a result from lack of rest. His eyes looked dead but preoccupied at the same time; probably a result of stress and overthinking.

  


It was a look Mark noticed Jinyoung always wore ever since Got7’s debut; the young Korean’s eyes rarely ever seemed sincere, as if he were hiding something, a big secret he can’t ever let anyone find out. After a while, Mark realized _why_. Jinyoung simply thinks non-stop. He thinks and worries and is the first to react to everything and it’s both admirable as much as it is worrying. Jinyoung’s head never rests, and now, looking at the once care-free Jackson sporting the same look made something twist in Mark’s stomach.

  


Maybe he’s being over dramatic. He is, isn’t he? Jackson already has so much he has to deal with; Mark wasn’t supposed to be one of those.

  


Mark’s supposed to be the one helping him relieve some of his burdens, not add on to it.

  


Oh God.

  


He’s horrible, isn’t he.

  


“I just didn’t want to upset you more,” Jackson explained quietly, his deep gruffy voice breaking Mark’s train of thoughts, “I wasn’t in my right mind. I couldn’t deal with you. I wouldn’t be patient enough. Sorry if it sounds harsh but it is what it is. I’m sorry.”

  


Jackson sounded so tired.

  


Mark could feel the guilt and uneasiness creep all over him.

  


“I know I should’ve told you regardless. Also knew you just missed me. Sorry I couldn’t be there for you, hyung.”

  


“… okay. Yeah, it’s okay.”

  


Jackson frowned a bit at Mark’s dismissive remark.

  


“That’s all you wanted to talk about?”

  


“… no...”

  


Jackson could see how carefully Mark was with his words, and he closed his eyes with a tired sigh.

  


It meant something. It should mean something, it’s Mark after all, the most predictable member in the group aside from Jaebum. Careful Mark usually meant something. He probably didn’t want to bother Jackson too much after seeing how shitty he looked like. Or maybe he just had a lot to say but chose not to because Jackson is looking like a pathetic little shit and Mark either didn’t have the heart to or decided it a tired Jackson is useless to argue with.

  


Wel, Mark wouldn’t be wrong, though. A tired him is a useless him. He’d move on autopilot and wouldn’t even have the brains to come up with excuses, tend to arguments, make up excuses or even put up a word filter.

  


Tired Jackson is useless Jackson, indeed.

  


Considering that he’s lately tired all the time, does that make him useless all the time as well?

  


“I’m sorry too. I should not have been so angry,” Mark spoke up, getting up from the bed, “You go get some rest, then.”

  


Jackson frowned, “Huh? What do you mean? You’re going somewhere?”

  


“Home? You’re tired, you need all the rest you can get.”

  


Mark seemed completely honest, Jackson could see that.

  


He saw the genuine resignation and that there was no ill-intent behind those words; Mark honest to God wanted Jackson to sleep and rest as much as he could before they start their activities again later, but he couldn’t help but feel rejected.

  


“You told the whole group you’re staying with me,” he said instead, not wanting to cause and argument, but Mark’s looking at him like he’s something to be pitied or something and he seriously felt bothered by it.

  


“Which I didn’t talk over with you. Sorry.”

  


“Okay, and? You’re already here, you might just stay.”

  


Jackson realized how snappish he sounded. He blames it on his fatigue. Mark just stood there, hesitating, and it really struck a nerve.

  


“What, you don’t want to stay with me anymore?”

  


He didn’t really realize the implications of his words until he saw Mark’s jaw set, and Jackson sat up, feeling a bit too vulnerable in his lying-down state.

  


“Are you implying something?”

  


“I don’t think I am.”

  


“Oh my God, Gaga, I’m not trying to pick a fight here.”

  


“Neither am I.”

  


“Then why are you being so difficult? I’m trying to get out of your way!”

  


“Why _are_ you? Why can’t you just stay? Don’t you miss me or something?”

  


Mark visibly deflated. “Of course I do.”

  


“You have a funny way of showing it.”

  


“Jackson, just spit it out.” Mark’s voice is eerily calm and cold, and Jackson knows he should just stay quiet, but…

  


“Why? I have no obligations to you.”

  


“Obligations?” Mark parroted, stepping closer to the bed and staring Jackson down, “What is _wrong_ with you? If you have something to say, just say it!”

  


“What would it matter? You don’t listen.”

  


“For fuck’s sake –”

  


“Or rather, listening is all you do,” Jackson muttered under his breath, but Mark heard it anyway. He could feel a headache coming up, along with a burst of rage, and he really doesn’t want to _be_ angry right now, especially because it’s not even the right time.

  


Mark straightened up and took a step back, closer to the bedroom door, his face hard and jaw set. Mark is pissed, and he knows tired Jackson doesn’t care. Shaking his head, Mark took a deep breath. This conversation is going nowhere. He could just end it by giving in and staying, but after this little  _argument_ and the attitude Jackson's giving him, Mark really didn't feel like staying around any longer. He barely can see Jackson, yes, but hanging around with such an uncomfortable air between them won't do anyone any good, either.

 

Mark turned around and walked off to the door.

  


“Yeah, okay. You’re tired and rambling. I’m going. I’ll see you tomor – ”

  


“Can we break up?”

  


Mark froze in his steps.

  


That came out of nowhere. _Why_ would Jackson even say that? Never in a million years would Mark ever suspect those words come out of the younger's mouth; not with the mutual understanding they have going on since for literal years. Jackson’s words hung in the air, the atmosphere in the room thick, and Mark stared at the younger idol with an ache in his chest.

  


Slowly, Mark turned around.

  


“What are you saying?”

  


Jackson shrugged. It wasn’t as dismissive as the gesture _should_ be; Mark could see the hesitation in Jackson’s face, a certain defensiveness in the way he refused to meet Mark’s eyes. It made him feel all the more … scared.

  


He didn’t know this Jackson. He doesn’t think he does. He has seen the younger act like this towards others, has always guessed that Jackson might have such a side to him, but… Jackson never acted like this towards _him_.

  


Mark didn’t like this.

  


“Gaga. What are you saying.”

  


“Can we break up,” Jackson repeated, soldiering on, even though he knows his answer might possibly have terrible consequences, but he has pride and he’s done with giving in to whatever Mark wants. Jackson has feelings and wants too, damn it.

  


“I know there’s nothing to break because we’re not together,” he continued as non-chalant as he could possibly muster, “But can we stop this,” he gestured between the two of them, “For a while?”


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebum receives a phone call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regarding the inconsistent amount of word count in each chapter..  
> Please let me explain myself :')
> 
> The main reason why each chapter's lengths varies is because each chapter is a series of sequences.  
> One whole scene plays out in one whole chapter.
> 
> I wouldn't feel right if I ended a chapter without having the scene ended properly (either by plot twist or some other sense of "finality")
> 
> I usually write very long chapters, 1k above.
> 
> The length, quality and genre of my fics are usually like chapter 20, chapter 12, maybe chapter 16.  
> For this fic, I update according to my mood because I am still recovering from depression and a 4 year long writer's block. That is why the chapter in Yes No Maybe are very short, ranging from 300-700 words at most.
> 
> However,  
> If reading so much is difficult, I might try to cut the fics in half.  
> I am aware that there are some readerswho have difficulties with long chapters, sorry for that! <3  
> It will result in double updates, of course (two - three chapters in one upload)
> 
> Which do you guys prefer?
> 
> Also, PLEASE KEEP THE COMMENTS CIVIL.  
> The small argument happening in chapter 20’s comment section kinda triggered my anxiety :’)

Jaebum needed more sleep.

 

His head’s throbbing, his nose felt kinda stuffy, his throat is scratchy, and ugh he just _knows_ he’s well on his way to catching the flu. He had already downed some meds; pain killers, antibiotics, vitamins, the usual set – but his recovery somehow felt less quicker than the last time he fell sick. Sniffling, Jaebum cleared his throat and pressed the replay button. He had been staring and working on this one since they all got back from the studio; he simply can’t sleep if he leaves work unfinished. He's having a deadline coming up and he needs to finish his work no matter what.

 

He can already hear Jinyoung scolding him about lack of sleep and overworking.

 

Fed up, Jaebum paused the track and saved his progress, moving the cursor to open his playlist instead. He needs a bit of a new perspective. Pressing shuffle, Jaebum laid back and enjoyed the beat, eyes trailing off and resting on the long lanky body draped all over his bed.

  


Jaebum smiled to himself.

  


Yugyeom had knocked on his bedroom door earlier, sheepishly asking for some company seeing as he can never really sleep alone at night.

  


It was through the maknae that Jaebum realized Jinyoung had gone off somewhere without telling him; the maknae would never go to Jaebum for cuddles except as a last resort. He knew how busy Jaebum is, how much the older need concentration, and he had adamantly stated that he wouldn’t disturb Jaebum work. He’d be fine with watching the elder work until he fell asleep; he just needed to know that someone is there.

  


Jaebum had internally squealed at the cuteness of it all and promptly let Yugyeom in.

  


He couldn’t help but worry, though. For Jinyoung to go out without telling anyone… And for Mark to suddenly corner Jackson like that earlier... Jaebum isn’t dumb; he knows something has been going on, but the question is,  _what_. Could it be a lover's quarrel? Not impossible, seeing as Markson behave like a literal couple. They've been spending way too much time together for it to be something platonic, anyway. 

  


_bzzt bzzt bzzt bzzt bzzt bzzt bzzt bzzt bzzt_

  


“…?”

  


Jaebum felt his elbow vibrate; his whole desk is vibrating, actually, and he quickly reached for his phone as he realized the source of said vibration. Mark’s name flashed across the screen and a sudden sense of dread filled his stomach. Mark only calls when it's important... But he's been at Jackson's since they got back, what could be so important that he had to call him at all? Shouldn't they all be asleep?

 

He swiped and accepted the call.

  


“Hyung?”

  


“Bummie, sorry, were you asleep? I need, uh, you to pick me up. Didn’t wanna wake Gyeomie.”

  


Mark’s voice sounded weird; his speech sounded a bit slurred, but, also not? He sounded like he has a stuffed nose more than a drunk kinda slur. Jaebum's worry grew.

  


“Uh, sure. Where are you? Are you okay? Where’s Jackson?”

  


“I’m at Jackson’s. He’s here. You can, uh, use my car. The keys are in the bowl like usual.”

 

... damn. It really  _is_ a lover's quarrel, isn't it?

  


“Okay. Give me fifteen minutes.”

  


“Thanks.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DOUBLE UPDATE
> 
> READ FROM CHAPTER 21
> 
> (( this is written kinda rushed. tbh, everything since ch 19 is rushed. forgive my spelling n grammar mistakes, I might come back and fix them all someday ))

Yugyeom woke up to the sound of someone heaving.

 

_What the hell?_

 

Sitting up, Yugyeom looked around to find Jaebum’s room completely empty, with the door ajar. The digital clock on Jaebum’s desk showed 07:49am and the heaving sounds just got louder, accompanied by a loud, desperate wail. What in the world?

 

 _Jaebum hyung’s crying? Or did something happen to Jinyoung hyung?_ Jinyoung did suddenly leave after all, not long after the three of them reached home. He had seemed very distracted and a bit distraught, providing Yugyeom with nothing more than a simple, "hey I'm going out." Come to think of it, the hyung line themselves seem to be going through a lot, too.

 

Fueled by worry and curiosity, Yugyeom got out of bed and headed out the room to the living room, following the sobbing sounds.

 

As he stepped into the living room vicinity, Jaebum soon came into sight, holding a desperately crying man in his arms on the couch. The crying man’s face is buried in Jaebum’s chest, hands clutching at the leader’s shirt, shoulders shaking and trembling violently with each heavy sob. Approaching, Yugyeom recognized the man’s to be his Mark hyung; there’s no mistaking those shoulders and thick dark hair.

 

Confused, Yugyeom looked at Jaebum, only to find the older already staring at him with a pained expression. Mark kept on crying as if he had just lost his whole family, not really acknowledging Yugyeom’s presence. The maknae had never in his life seen their eldest hyung look so  _broken_ and felt something tug at his heart strings. Stepping forward tentatively, the maknae joined his hyung on the couch and wrapped his arms around Mark’s waist, leaning his head on the eldest’s back.

 

“What happened, hyung?” he asked quietly, looking up at Jaebum for answers, to which he shook his head to.

 

“I picked him up from Jackson’s. He started crying the second we got home and he hasn’t stopped since,” he sighed, looking down at Mark’s mop of thick hair, his black roots showing so very obviously, and lightly jostled the shoulder Mark’s leaning on.

 

“I know it’s Jackson, but I don’t know what happened.”

 

Yugyeom’s eyes widened. Maybe it had something to do with why Mark was sulking the last time? It all fits, doesn't it? Jinyoung suddenly left in a hurry. Not long after Mark comes home crying. Yugyeom wouldn't be surprised if Jackson suddenly made an announcement that he's quitting the band or something. 

 

Oh God. Hope that never happens.

 

“Mark hyung, hey,” he cooed softly, “You’re soaking JB hyung’s shirt. Come here, please?”

 

Mark shook his head.

 

“Hyung, please. You’re making me sad. I wanna hold you,” Yugyeom tried again, using the soft spot he knows Mark has for him, “Help me make you feel better, please?” lightly tugging Mark backwards by the waist.

 

Mark didn’t budge.

 

He stayed where he was, shoulder still shaking and breath still labored. Gradually, with Yugyeom rubbing his sides and Jaebum stroking his hair, Mark's sobs slowly calmed down. It only took a few minutes for him to finally get his sobs in better control, the hiccups and red-rimmed eyes and Rudolph nose being the only giveaway that the elder had been crying like a baby.

 

“Sorry I ruined your shirt,” he apologized quietly to Jaebum, in a voice that is surprisingly stable – despite sounding like he’s sporting a very bad case of stuffed nose – and stood up. Both Jaebum and Yugyeom were a bit surprised at the sudden action, but didn't do anything to stop him. Mark then took Yugyeom’s wrist, tugging the maknae to his feet, “Let’s sleep,” before letting go and walking off into the direction of Yugyeom’s room.

 

Jaebum and Yugyeom shared a look before Yugyeom went off to follow Mark, with Jaebum watching his two members go.

 

The leader sighed.

 

Jackson has some questions he has to answer.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback.

“ _I know there’s nothing to break because we’re not together,”_ _Jackson had said_ _as non-chalant as he could possibly muster, “But can we stop this,”_ _gesturing_ _between the two of them, “For a while?”_

  


_A deafening silence fell over them, the tension so thick it’d be hard to cut between a knife._

  


_Mark could only stare as he tried to process Jackson’s words._

  


“… _what?”_

  


_It wasn’t as if he hadn’t heard the other; he just couldn’t believe it._

  


“ _You don’t mean that. Do you?”_

  


_Jackson sat up straighter, eyes boring holes into his own feet._

  


“ _Gaga. You don’t mean that.” The words came in English, making Mark sound even more desperate, but he didn’t care. At this point, he’d gladly throw all his pride out the window. He needed answers, damn it._

  


“ _...”_

  


“ _Jackson!”_

  


“What _.”_

  


“ _Answer me! Did you mean that?”_

  


_A sigh. “I don’t know.”_

  


“ _Then why – ”_

  


“ _Because I’m tired!” Jackson snapped, and Mark visibly flinched at the harsh tone. Jackson noticed and took a deep breath, continuing in a softer voice._

  


“ _I can’t… I can’t deal with this. I don’t know how you feel about me, I don’t know what we are. It might not be important to you, but it is to me. I need to know where I stand, so I can act accordingly. I have no idea why you’re refusing to make it official with me, but I know you act on labels as well, so I can only assume you’re not as invested in this as much as I am...”_

  


“ _You know I love you, what else do I have to prove to you! Labels aren’t everything – ”_

  


“ _It’s not. But it’s important to me.” Jackson finally leveled his stare and the two locked eyes. “Like I said, I need to know where I stand, and – ”_

  


“ _You know where you stand! I’ve made it clear to you a thousand times! I’ve explained why! I’m scared, Gaga, GOT7 is my life, it’s all I have!”_

  


“ _I gave up my Olympics career for GOT7,_ hyung. _I know what sacrifice means.”_

  


_Jackson stated icily, sounding way too unfamiliar. Mark couldn’t think of anything else to say; doesn’t dare to._

  


“ _I’m just asking for you to acknowledge me. At least to our friends. To our group mates. It’s not as if I’d pull a Hyuna on you.”_

  


_That’s true. Mark knows that the younger meant everything he said._

  


_Mark knows that Jackson understands more than anyone about what’s at stake here. It’s not just about being in a relationship; it’s not just about a scandal or a chip in their careers. They were both foreigners, both men, both highly sought after, both at the highlight of their careers. Especially Jackson._

  


_He had way more to lose than Mark did._

  


_He’s right._

  


Oh God. How selfish am I?

  


_Mark’s eyes and nose started to sting; it felt oddly hot and he could feel the tell-tale prickling. He struggled to breathe but managed to mumble out a steady, “… so what now?”_

  


_The silence that met him was answer enough. Jackson stayed quiet, obviously not ready and unsure with his own decision, but Mark could see how much the younger meant what he had said. He was unsure about voicing it out, but it didn’t mean that he hadn’t thought it through._

  


_More tears gathered in Mark’s eyes as he realized the possibility of Jackson having actually thought about leaving him. How long has this been stewing inside the younger’s head?_

  


“ _I...” Jackson croaked out, “I just… think this is… starting to get unhealthy… We’re obviously hurting each other.”_

  


I’m obviously hurting you _, was what Mark heard, and he so badly wanted to speak out and deny, but he knew it’d be no use._

  


_Jackson let out a dry, sarcastic laugh, “I never thought I’d be one to be in a toxic relationship.”_

  


So I’m toxic now?

  


“… _okay.”_

  


_Jackson looked up so fast Mark worried he might’ve given himself whiplash._

  


“ _What?”_

  


“ _I,” Mark sighed, blinking to get rid of the tears threatening to spill, “I said, okay. If that’s your decision.”_

  


“ _You’re okay with that?”_

  


“ _Of course not.”_

  


_Jackson shot him an incredulous look, but Mark just shook his head._

  


“ _You wanted this. I’m not trying to be petty. But you’re right. If we’re hurting each other, we’re toxic, and we should…” Mark took a shaky breath, “Take a break...”_

  


“ _Okay...”_

  


“ _Okay.”_

  


“ _Mmm...”_

  


“ _...”_

  


“ _...”_

  


“… _I, um. I’ll be going home, then. I guess.”_

  


“ _Mark...”_

  


“ _Please don’t ask me to stay. You can’t ask that of me.”_

  


“… _right. Sorry.”_


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Double update, read from chapter 23

Mark sobbed into Yugyeom’s chest, the maknae’s shirt now drenched with warm tears and snot. His head hurt, he couldn’t breathe properly, his eyes also stung, but he just couldn’t _stop._

  


It just hurt.

  


It hurt so _much_ and he didn’t know where or why or how it hurt, but it just did and it felt unbearable and illogical and downright _stupid_ but he had to cry. He couldn’t help the sobs wracking his body, the wails forcing itself out his throat; he felt as if he’d explode if he didn’t give his pain a voice.

  


His bony fingers clutched at his little brother’s shirt as if it were his lifeline.

  


Yugyeom could only hold him tight and whisper out a few shushes, not knowing what to do with himself. He felt awful, not being able to make Mark feel better, to ease his pain. Not being able to promise that everything will be alright.

  


He knew this had to do something with Jackson hyung – duh, obviously – and he can’t help but wonder if it had something to do with Jinyoung hyung, too. Mark did seem a bit distraught about their dynamic the last time, and Jinyoung left in such a hurry earlier…

  


Yugyeom yawned, unable to stifle the exhaustion, and nuzzled Mark’s hair.

  


“Sorry,” Mark croaked out in English, “Y-you must be t-tired,” his hiccups causing him to stutter, “You can sle- sleep if you want.”

  


Mark sounded weird, with all that snot clogging his nose, and Yugyeom smiled to himself at the cuteness.

  


“I am,” the maknae admitted, lightly scratching Mark’s scalp, “I know. Don’t feel bad, I know you just want a human pillow, but I really can’t sleep. Wasn’t really trying to stay awake.”

  


“I’m sorry I can’t tell you anything.”

  


“It’s okay. You don’t have to. I just really hate seeing you cry. You never cry.”

  


“I cry all the time.”

  


“Not like this, though. This is a broken heart, I know.”

  


Mark jabbed at Yugyeom’s chest playfully, “You’ve never even had a girlfriend.”

  


“Well, yes, but I’ve seen people with heartbreak. You know Yuju? From Gfriend?”

  


“Your 97 line friend.”

  


“Yeah, and she cried to me when she found her boyfriend cheating. His reason? She didn’t have time for him. No use dating an idol if you can’t show off anyway, he told her. It was harsh. She cried so much. Dokyeommie’s shirt was drenched, and she wasted a whole box of my tissues.”

  


Yugyeom pulled away a bit and poked Mark’s nose.

  


“Your nose is redder than hers, though,” he smiled teasingly, “And your wails are louder. And uglier,” Yugyeom laughed lightly, “You must love your girlfriend very much, hyung. Or, boy. I keep forgetting you swing both ways.”

  


Mark threw away the gross tissue in balled up messily in his palm as Yugyeom handed him a new one and blew his nose loudly.

  


“Am I that obvious?”

  


“Well, yes. If I didn’t know better I’d say you’re dating Jackson hyung. Or Jinyoung hyung. But most likely Jackson hyung.”

  


“Markson forever,” Mark quoted dryly, and Yugyeom pulled him close again.

  


“Your eyes are puffy. Let’s just sleep again? You need it. I need it too.”

  


“How much time do we have left?”

  


Yugyeom peered over Mark’s head. “Uh, five hours, give or take? You shower quick. Shouldn’t be a problem. It’s only dance practice anyway.”

  


“Okay...”

  


Aish, even closing his eyes hurt. Mark felt blunt nails lazily scratch his scalp again, and he pressed his nose into Yugyeom’s neck.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crying Jackson.

Jinyoung turned the lock and stepped in, not really caring about being polite or considering Jackson’s personal space or privacy. It’s Jackson, the Wang Gae to his Park Gae, and – if Jinyoung’s assumptions are correct, and he’s hardly ever wrong – said young man is probably curled up crying on his bed right now.

  


Screw formalities. Jackson needs him.

  


“Jackson!” Jinyoung called out, flinging his coat over to the couch, not caring that it slid off and fell to the ground, marching to where he knows Jackson’s room is located. As expected, Jinyoung walked in the dimly lit room to a trembling lump on the sheets. Faint, muffled sobs came from beneath the gray thick comforter and something in Jinyoung’s heart broke.

  


“Sseunie...”

  


Jackson could feel Jinyoung pull back the covers, and was about to retaliate and yank it back when he felt the bed shift under Jinyoung’s weight, the younger climbing on the bed with him. Jackson felt his brother settle himself behind him, and it wasn’t long before Jinyoung’s arms pulled him to his chest by the waist.

  


Jackson immediately turned and buried his face into Jinyoung’s chest, head on the younger’s bicep.

  


“What happened? I came as soon as I heard,” Jinyoung whispered out, hand cradling Jackson’s head while the other held on tightly to his waist. Jackson’s hiccuping, chest feeling tight, and he had to take a few deep breaths before croaking out his reply.

  


“We broke up.”

  


Jackson’s raspy voice sounded even rougher through all the crying, and his stuffed nose didn’t really make his articulation better. Jinyoung frowned, thinking that he must’ve heard wrong, because how could Jackson break up when he hadn’t been dating anyone?

  


“You woke up?”  
  
Jackson shook his head and pulled away a bit. Noticing the mess on his face, Jinyoung reached around for a box of tissues and dabbed it on to the older’s face.

  


“No, I broke up. With Mark hyung.”

  


Jinyoung frowned. “… what? I thought you guys weren’t dating?”

  


“I… I don’t know either, okay. I don’t know what we were, or why I – look, whatever it is, it’s over. It’s done...” Jackson sounded so hopeless and forlorn, and despite the confusion, Jinyoung couldn’t help but sympathize.

  


“He dumped you?”

  


“No, he… I broke it off.”

  


_This is getting weirder by the second._ “Okay, why?”

  


“I couldn’t take it anymore,” Jackson sighed, pressing his face back into Jinyoung’s collarbones, sniffling as he felt the tears well up again. He couldn’t help it; he feels so _stupid_. He loved the man, Mark was his everything, even with all his shortcomings and the odd dynamic of their relationship, and Jackson couldn’t imagine life without him.

  


Literally.

  


Aside the fact that Mark is a GOT7 member – it’s such a common fact that Jackson can never live without his GOT7 brothers, even IGOT7’s grandmothers know – Jackson also knows that Mark is irreplaceable.

  


Nobody understands quarrels with him the way Mark does, nobody understands him the way Mark does; nobody looks at him the way Mark does and Jackson knows he is way too far gone to even consider “moving on”. He knows that nobody in the world is replaceable, everyone has their own role in life and everything is intertwined.

  


But specifically in this case, Mark is his _everything_.

  


How can he function without his everything? How is he going to cope with a new everything? He doesn’t want a new everything, he just wants his own everything and maybe a little bit more.

  


It doesn’t make sense, but he doesn’t need it to.

  


He just wants his Mark hyung back.

  


“Why did I do that. Why did I tell him I want to break up. I feel so stupid. I’m an idiot.”

  


“Shh, hush, don’t think about it too much, Sseunie...”

  


“I _can’t_!” Jackson wailed, a sob ripping through him, “I – I regret it so much. It hasn’t even been an hour and I’m already wishing I could take it back! How am I ever going to survive if I’m a mess already! I can’t live without him, I swear I can’t!”

  


If it were any other person, Jinyoung would’ve smacked them and told them to suck it up. A break up is nothing to cry about; it simply meant you weren’t meant to be together and that you’ll find someone better in the future. Cry your heart out, suck it up, and move the fuck on.

  


If it were someone else, Jinyoung would’ve judged them as being whiny and over reacting. Everyone is born alone and will die alone; there’s no such thing as “not being able to live without someone”. Jackson was doing just fine before Mark came along.

  


Problem is, this is Jackson.

  


And Jinyoung will always be biased when it comes to Jackson.

  


“He was crying when I came home,” Jinyoung offered softly, running his fingers through Jackson’s hair gently, “It was loud. I heard it all the way from the living room. Jaebum hyung told me Mark started crying the second he got home. I immediately thought of you.”

  


“Why didn’t you check on him?” Jackson mumbled out pitifully, and Jinyoung pulled at Jackson’s hair teasingly.

  


“He already had Yugyeom. You’re here alone,” came the simple answer, and Jackson relaxed into Jinyoung’s body.

  


How he wished this is Mark he’s holding right now.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback.  
> Crying Jackson 2.0

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READ FROM CH 25 <3

“ _Nyoung.”_

 

“ _Hmm?”_

 

“ _Do you think he really has feelings for me? You said we look like a couple.”_

 

“… _haven’t you seen your own Markson show?”_

 

_A slap to the chest._

 

“ _I meant behind cameras.”_

 

“ _You two are even more gross behind camera.”_

 

“ _Nyoung! I’m serious!”_

 

“ _I am too.”_

 

Jinyoung moved on to his back, releasing a sleeping Jackson from his hold. Smiling gently, the Korean sllid off the bed, pulled the comforter over Jackson’s finally calm frame, and quietly went to get some water from the kitchen.

 

“ _I think I’m too selfish. He’s right, labels aren’t that important. He never cheated on me in the slightest way, he’s always there for me, he doesn’t even complain about me being away for so long. I never gave him anything and he never asked. I barely can see him or be there for him and I still demand labels from him? I just… Am I selfish?”_

 

“ _No. I don’t think so. Labels are important. It exists for a reason.”_

 

“ _No it isn’t. It … It isn’t. I mean, it is, but he… He, I… He already explained why, he, it’s not as if he doesn’t want to, he told me he’s scared of the backlash. He received a lot of it when his sister got married, and he’s scared it’ll ruin all of our careers if it gets out.”_

 

“ _You guys behave like a couple already. What makes it different?”_

 

“… _he’d feel like he owned me. Like he’s entitled to me.”_

 

“ _So? He already is, isn’t he?”_

 

“ _Yes, but… He didn’t say this but I know, he’d be clingier. He’d be more possessive and jealous and he doesn’t want that. You do know that people act according to labels, right? It’s psychologically proven.”_

 

Jinyoung sighed at himself as he remembered their conversation, how contemplative Jackson looked. He seemed to genuinely believe it was all his fault and Jinyoung felt bad because he couldn’t do anything about it.

 

He opened the fridge door and rummaged around for a can of beer.

 

“ _Then why do you still want the label? He’s already yours.”_

 

“ _Yes, but… I just… I mean, is he? Is he really mine? I know he is, but I don’t… wo bu zhe me – ”_

 

“ _You’re using Chinese.”_

 

“ _Sorry. I meant, I don’t feel he’s mine. I know its just me being_ insecure _, but – ”_

 

“ _What does_ insecure _mean?”_

 

“ _Uh, simiilar to bulanjeonghan. Like, not confident? Second-guessing yourself all the time?”_

 

“ _Ah, right. Sorry. Continue.”_

 

“ _Mm. Well. Yeah. I’m insecure. And I feel guilty. Because this is all on me.”_

 

Jinyong sipped on the beer, taking his discarded coat from the floor and hanging it up properly by the coat rack. The clock showed 10.12 am, meaning that he roughly has 4 hours to sleep before they have to go and attend practice at three…

 

He sauntered back into Jackson’s room.

 

“ _Did he stop you from breaking it off?”_

 

“… _no. Well, he technically did, but he gave in and said he understood, and just… Just bid me goodnight and went home. And I didn’t run after him. He said I didn’t have the right to ask him to stay, and he’s…. He’s right. I’m so selfish. And I made him cry. God, I…”_

 

“ _You’re crying too, you know. He made you cry, too.”_

 

“ _I made myself cry. If I just kept my mouth shut maybe he’d still be here. God, the haters were right. My big mouth – ”_

 

“ _Don’t you dare finish that sentence.”_

 

Jinyoung leaned on the door sill, observing Jackson’s sleeping form. The other had cried and sniffled some more, mumbling stuff about Mark into Jinyoung’s chest until he fell asleep. AT least he wasn’t crying anymore.

 

It still hurt to see the strongest member of the group finally break down like a little boy, though.

 

“ _How am I supposed to face him later? How will he face_ me _later? He … I don’t think I can stand him acting like I don’t exist. You know how he is, right? He ignores – ”_

 

“ _Sseunie, stop. He loves you. You know he does. It’ll be okay.”_

 

“ _You can’t promise me that...”_

 

He’s right. Jinyoung couldn’t promise him anything. He could barely hold his own life together, let alone make promises for Jackson’s. Jinyoung walked over to Jackson’s bed and climbed back in to his former spot, the bed still warm.

 

He can think about this later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why did I put the awkward language part in?
> 
> 1\. It happens to polyglots (people who speak multiple languages) all the time. (I am one myself)  
> When you're emotional, you can't think. You just use the words you feel best describe your feelings at the moment, and sometimes it just doesn't exist in the language you're using.  
> FYI, the word "insecure" doesn't even exist in Korean, Chinese, Indonesian or Japanese, only rough equivalents.
> 
> 2\. It just emphasizes that Mark really is irreplaceable.  
> Jackson uses English more than Korean with Mark, and he can easily slip in Chinese words or phrases to his heart's content and Mark would just understand what he means in more ways than one. No matter how close Jackson is with Jinyoung, no matter how well Jinyoung can read him, no matter how well they understand each other; Jinyoung will never understand Jackson the way Mark does.
> 
>  
> 
> \----
> 
>  
> 
> ALSO GUYS MARK WENT TO CHINA FOR AD MODELING WORK AND HIS FACE IS ALL OVER BEIJING  
> GUESS WHAT I'M GONNA WRITE ABOUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTERS LMAO


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Filler chapter.

Practice went as bad as Yugyeom predicted it would be, and he whimpered into Bambam’s nape, arms locked securely around the older’s waist. Mark had done the one thing he swore he wouldn’t do – which is treating Jackson differently – while Jackson himself seemed to be pouring his all into the choreography.

  


Even their dance coach was a bit surprised.

  


“I can’t,” Youngjae whined, flopping himself down beside Yugyeom like a ragdoll, letting out noises that make him sound like a sad puppy.

  


“Didn’t get enough sleep?” Bambam spoke up, perched comfortably on Yugyeom’s lap, speaking without even sparing their hyung a glance, eyes glued to his phone screen. Youngjae made another pitiful noise, leaning his head on Yugyeom’s shoulder, and outright pointed at a sulking Mark resting his head on Jinyoung’s lap. The two were sitting on the floor, fanning themselves while talking in quiet, hushed voices.

  


“No. Those two. I can’t with those two.”

  


Bambam looked up from his phone to look at the direction Youngjae’s pointing, and frowned. “What? Mark hyung and Jinyoung hyung? What’s wrong with them?”

  


“Everything,” Youngjae groaned, “Those two and their boyfriends are giving me vibes and it’s … uncomfortable.”

  


Both Yugyeom and Bambam turned and frowned at that.

  


“… Mark and Jinyoung are dating?” Bambam repeated, dumbfounded, and Yugyeom tugged on his waist by his linked arms.

  


“No you idiot, what Youngjae hyung meant was that the hyungs and their boyfriends are making things weird.”

  


“Who is Jinyoung dating then?”

  


“Jaebum. Probably,” Youngjae quipped in.

  


“I thought he’s straight?”

  


“Love happens,” Yugyeom mumbled out, sounding somewhat bitter, and Bambam leaned back into Yugyeom’s chest. He looked up, nudging Yugyeom’s chin with his nose.

  


“We talked about this. No more sulking.”

  


“Sulking? What?” Youngjae looked utterly confused, and Bambam straightened up. He let the maknae nuzzle his nape again, reaching back to stroke the youngest’s hair.

  


“Yugyeom had a crush on me. Years ago. No biggie.”

  


“Fuck you,” Yugyeom retaliated, his voice muffled by Bambam’s skin and shirt, “I went through a sexuality crisis for months before I finally confessed. It was fucking hard.”

  


“Yes, but now you’ve realized your crush was just a crush and that you’re gay just for me, and we’re still friends! See? No biggie!”

  


Youngjae stared at Bambam’s easy smile, wondering how in the world he could’ve ended up in a group that were all dating each other. Bambam noticed his stare, it seemed, because he then hopped off of Yugyeom’s lap and onto his own feet, stretching.

  


“No, Youngjae hyung, we’re not together, don’t worry. My heart’s still loyal to Mina noona. She was the best, and she still is,” Bambam finished stretching and smiled, “So now I’m going to get myself a chocolate drink from the vending machine. You guys wanna come with?”

  


Youngjae immediately got on to his feet, “Hell yeah. Anything to avoid the hyung line.”

  


“Sure,” Yugyeom nodded, turning to the leader and waving, “Hyung! We’re gonna get drinks! Want some?”

  


At his loud voice, all of the hyungs looked up and gave their own answers in their own way, at the same time. Jaebum shook his head, Jinyoung smiled and nodded a polite no, Mark raised his water bottle, and Jackson waved a simple no, still out of breath from rehearsing the steps he kept getting wrong. Yugyeom marveled at their synchronicity for half a second before yelling back an “okay” and following his two hyungs out of the studio.

  


Once the maknaes left, Jackson blasted the song back on and began dancing his parts from the start. Jaebum retreated back into his phone, with Mark and Jinyoung still on the floor.

  


“Hyungie, for fucks’ sake. There is literally nothing preventing you two from getting back together. He regrets it as much as you do. Just talk to him! This tension isn’t helping anyone. Did you see how annoyed Youngjae was?” Jinyoung whispered hotly, brow furrowed and face uncomfortable. He leaned back, supporting himself, and caught Mark’s pained stare.

  


“He doesn’t wanna talk to me, Nyoungie,” Mark sighed, pointing at Jackson with his chin, “Look at him.”

  


Jinyoung did turn, observing Jackson, moving in all his exhaustion, and winced.

  


“All I see is someone with a broken heart.”

  


Mark groaned and sat up. “Jinyoung.”

  


“I mean it. Look, just. God, it pains me to see you two like this. Just fix this.”

  


“You sound like JB,” Mark commented off-handedly, and Jinyoung quickly schooled his face into a scowl.

  


“Be happy it’s just me, and not really hyung himself.”

  


Jinyoung pushed himself up to his feet, at the exact time their three maknaes walked in, full of laughter. Youngjae draped an arm over Jinyoung’s shoulder and rubbed his arm consolingly, as if he knew.

  


Jinyoung faintly smiled back.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Markson have a talk at the airport.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't kill me  
> I'm sorry I had to break promises

“Come on. I’m leaving for Hong Kong. You really gonna see me off with that face?”

 

Beside him, Mark looked up with a soft scowl – if a scowl could look soft, but hey this is Mark, Jackson will always see him as soft. He didn’t respond, merely looking at the younger, looking as if he had something to say, but chose not to instead. Mark let out a soft defeated sigh and trained his eyes on his intertwined fingers laced on his own lap.

 

The two were sitting side by side – well, with Jackson’s carry-on bag occupying the seat between them – at the airport, waiting for Jackson’s flight. Both he and Tianyu had taken care of all the luggage and have already checked in; the two decided to go back because Mark had insisted on staying until Jackson had to go. That automatically meant that Yunjong, Byungyong’s replacement for the day, had to stay and keep an eye out on Mark, too.

 

The two managers were currently off together somewhere, leaving the two GOT7 members to their own devices.

 

“Seriously?” Jackson remarked, the word seemingly emphasized due to being in English and Mark shrugged. When it became clear that the shrug is the only form of reply Jackson will ever get, the Hong Kong native scoffed and roughly shoved his phone inside his black carry-on.

 

“Unbelievable.”

 

Jackson laid back and closed his eyes, now determined to just ignore the older member.

 

Jackson did his best to initiate a conversation ever since they got in their car. Jackson did his best to tamp down on Byungyong and Tianyu’s curiosity and suspicions. Jackson even went as far as resting his head on Mark’s shoulder to sleep, despite the ache that bloomed in his chest when he felt Mark tense at the contact.

 

He knew it was his fault for requesting the break up, and he also knows that it’s his fault for immersing himself in their routine and schedules instead of just approaching Mark and having a talk.

 

A _real_ talk, where they’re both sober and not clouded by emotions.

 

He was actually quite relieved and happy when Mark had asked if he could come with to the airport, but now it’s just gotten weird.

 

They weren’t talking, and people are taking pictures which are most likely going to be uploaded. It wouldn’t be long before some fan makes a post about “Markson” because Mark has no reason to be here except to see him off, which is admittedly very weird because why would Mark see him off? Why did the others not come with? And if it’s a friendly thing, then why aren’t they talking?

 

There’s no way Mark hadn’t thought all of that through, which meant that he came here willingly; although he doesn’t act like it at all. Mark is inviting all the attention he’s been trying to avoid all these years and Jackson’s started to give up on understanding the other.

 

“Why did you … want to end things?” came Mark’s voice quietly from beside him, and Jackson opened his eyes. The older sounded sulky, resigned, and Jackson knew he had to approach the matter carefully.

 

Problem is, he didn’t know what to say. Every answer that’s going through his head are all provocative, petty and bitter. He couldn’t say “there was nothing to end anyway” could he? Or tell Mark how toxic he thought their relationship was? Saying that he wasn’t happy was bullshit, too, because Mark might be even unhappier than he was and he still hung on to him.

 

“I needed a time out,” Jackson decided on saying after a while, “I also think you need someone better.”

 

_Fuck._

 

Jackson realized the gravity of his words a tad too late, Mark’s wide shocked eyes making his stomach drop.

 

“Ah, ani ani ani,” he quickly blurted out in an attempt on damage control, waving his hands frantically. Mark blinked, surprise still on his face, jaw now set. He knew that Mark’s anticipating some really bad news, and Jackson decided that he never wants to be the cause of that expression ever again.

 

“I didn’t mean it like that!”

 

“Like what?” Mark was apprehensive.

 

“Like, like that…” Jackson’s voice dropped an octave lower, “Look, I just thought we’re both tired and we’re both hurt and we both need a break to think things through, you know?”

 

“Jacks, we’re,” Mark took a deep breath, “We’ve been doing this for four years. What makes you think I wanna … wanna stop _now_?”

 

“Exactly because it’s been years. This isn’t our first --” a quick glance around to check for eavesdroppers, “-- fight. And it’s still about the same things.” Jackson had switched to using Chinese.

 

“Gaga --”

 

“Now it’s getting worse because I’m away all the time.”

 

Mark could only stare back, knowing Jackson still had something to say.

 

“One of the reasons why I insisted on the _thing_ is because I just wanna put myself at ease.”

 

Mark frowned, “What?” The English word came out a biting, and the younger winced.

 

“I trust you, I do. You know I do. But it just, y’know,” Jackson bit his lip, “Comforting, knowing you're mine when I see pictures of you and people.”

 

“ _People_.” Mark deadpanned, translating the Chinese word into English before switching into Korean, “You meant seeing me getting shipped?”

 

Jackson shrugged, and Mark scoffed.

 

“… I can’t _believe_ \--”

 

“Don’t tell me you can’t relate!” Jackson whispered out hotly, accusingly, and Mark bit back the urge to yell.

 

“Of _course_ I do. _You’re_ the socialite who’s always in the spotlight. _You’re_ the one with the worldwide fandom. _You’re_ the face of GOT7, no matter what anyone says, because everyone associates us with _you_ and vice versa. _You’re_ the one with friends every-fucking-where regardless of country or origin and gender and, _fuck_ what do you think _that_ makes me feel?!”

 

Mark’s heated whispers hit Jackson closer to home that he’d expected and he felt a sudden rush of guilt tie his tongue. The other’s eyes were watering; he could see the tears pooling and threaten to spill.

 

Mark noticed this too, apparently, since he turned away and laid his weight on the airport chair’s rest. He tilted his head and blinked, an attempt to fool onlookers, and Jackson wished they were somewhere away from prying eyes.

 

“Sorry. I’m sorry,” Jackson sighed, reaching out tentatively before patting Mark’s thigh awkwardly. He feels like such a jerk now. Has he really only been thinking of himself? He probably did. Jinyoung would kill him if he knew, but Jackson couldn’t help but feel how right the haters probably are.

 

“It’s not – ah, not your fault.” Mark sniffled, having successfully blinked his tears away, and turned back to face Jackson. “It’s all me. I could give you what you wanted but I refused.”

 

The feelings in Jackson’s gut were rioting, and he didn’t know whether the anticipation he felt was more out of giddiness or fear.

 

“What are you saying?”

 

“Let’s just make it official. You’re right. We’re fighting over nothing. I’m hiding you like I’m ashamed. You’re right, so I wanna do this. The boys need to know, at least. But I want to wait until we tell the company because –”

 

“No.”

 

Jackson scooted back on reflex, away from Mark.

 

The older froze.

 

“What?”

 

“No," Jackson stuttered, his voice unstable, "I, I said, no.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY LOOK I SWEAR I DIDN'T MEAN FOR THE STORY TO GO THIS WAY OKAY  
> I HAD A NICE PLAN TO MAKE THEM WORK IT OUT AND SAY GOODBYE ON GOOD TERMS
> 
> BUT NOPE 
> 
> THIS STORY JUST HAD TO WRITE ITSELF  
> I SWEAR JACKSON HAS A VALID REASON THO HE IS NOT BEING PETTY  
> THIS ISN'T CHEAP TENSION I PROMISE
> 
> I'm sorry okay my angst reflexes just took over  
> But at least I know how to connect this ending to the start of Mark going to China, so, uh  
> Fluff is on the horizon
> 
> We uh, we're getting there lol


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> filler chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having a bad writer's block. Sorry guys.

“Mark, his reasoning made sense,” Raymond sighed into the phone, pinching the bridge of his nose in his slight annoyance. It wasn’t everyday that you receive a phone call from your second youngest son, whining about his love life.

 

His love life with a fellow co-worker. Who is also a fellow idol.

 

Oh God.

 

“Dad, nothing about it made sense!” Mark insisted, falling on to Jaebum’s bed, the younger in front of his computer, headphones perched on his head and preventing him from eavesdropping.

 

Mark still couldn’t get over the whole ordeal at the airport.

 

“ _I, I said, no.”_

 

_The world seemed to stop at that moment. Mark couldn’t really breathe for some reason, and all he could hear was his own heavy breaths and the thudding of his heart against his ribcage. What did Jackson mean by that?_

_Surely he didn’t… Mean…_

 

“ _No, as, as in don’t tell the company, o- or…?”_

 

“ _Or,” Jackson answered, taking the carry-on bag from the seat and placing it on his lap, “I meant when I said I wanted a break, hyung.”_

 

_Mark felt his heart lurch. All of Jackson’s words from earlier are all suddenly thrown under a new light and he feels dizzy at what it all might imply. He can’t do this to him… Can he? Will he?_

 

“ _When you said you wanted someone better, did you mean it for yourself too?”_

 

 _Jackson shook his head, and Mark felt fear creep up when he realized he didn’t know what that simple gesture meant._ No, _I don’t want anyone else?_ No _, I didn’t mean it like that?_ No _, you’ve got it all wrong? Or, worse;_ no _, you don’t get it, I want it over with?_

 

_Mark bit back the urge to run._

 

“ _A break is … is a free for all. You can see whomever you want, and I, uh. I can too, I guess. Though I guess I won’t even have the time…”_

 

_Jackson refused to meet his eyes, gaze trained on the bag in his lap, and Mark couldn’t think. Didn’t want to think. He’s too afraid of where his thoughts may take him._

 

“ _Spit it out,” the older demanded, his English very biting, and Jackson hesitantly raised his gaze, locking eyes._

 

“ _I meant it when I said I wanted a break,” the Hong Kong native stated, voice low and hushed but clear, “I’ll still be your friend, your brother, just not… Not a lover. I don’t think I can give you what you need, and I also think I’m holding you back.”_

 

“What does he even mean by that, like, we’ve been going on for over four years now. It doesn’t make sense!”

 

Raymond sighed. “Look, Mark, regardless of what he meant, don’t you think he has a point?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“What does Jackson do?”

 

“Uh, everything.”

 

“Yeah, _what_.” Mark can hear his dad’s slight annoyance and decided to think it through a bit. He can see Jaebum getting up and walking out of the room from the corner of his eye and ignored it.

 

“Jacks has a solo career. He also does reality shows and modeling. Uh….” What else does Jackson do? Mark racked his brains for an answer, but his dad’s voice took over before he can find any other answers.

 

“He has his own handpicked management,” Raymond cut him off, “He produces and composes and writes. He participates in shows. He raps and sings. He even participates in producing some of those reality shows.”

 

“What? No he doesn’t.” _Does he?_ Mark’s kind of embarrassed that he doesn’t even know this one fact about his boyf – about Jackson.

 

“Regardless. What do _you_ do?”

 

“ _Hyung, I just think we need time apart. You should focus on your own career, too.”_

 

“ _Gaga, you’re not making any fucking sense.”_

 

_Jackson broke his their eye contact and chose to fiddle with his bag. He knew that the older knew what’s going through his head. Mark could only watch, not knowing what to say._

 

“I write songs for GOT7 too, dad. I model as well. I dance. I have a career of my own.”

 

“A career in online gaming you mean?”

 

“Daaaaad….”

 

Raymond ignored his son’s whine and continued, “Yien, haven’t you ever considered the fact that the reason why you feel so goddamned lonely all the time is because you have nothing to do ? Jackson has everything going on for him these past few years. 24 hours a day isn’t even enough for him. Now compare his schedule to yours.”

 

Mark stayed silent.

 

_Somewhere in the background, Mark registered the PA’s voice calling out a flight number. By the look of Jackson’s slight twitch, he could tell the other registered it too, but none of the two bothered to acknowledge it._

 

“ _I love you, hyung,” Jackson mumbled out, “I really do.”_

 

“ _Then why – ”_

 

_Jackson held up a hand and Mark fell silent._

 

“ _Please give me this._ Please. _I just need to sort myself out. I have so much going on, and I just…” Jackson took a deep breath. “I hope you’ll sort yourself out too, figure out what you really want.”_

 

Raymond took Mark’s silence as a clear answer, and sighed again into the phone.

 

“Mark. Son. Focus on yourself first. He’s right. You both need to figure out what you want. Jackson aside, your contract ends in two years. Jackson has something he can fall back to. Do you?”

 

-o-

 

“Jiejie, ni hao.”

 

“Yien?”

 

-o-

 

Jackson slumped into the back seat of his car, groaning as Xinhua shot him a worried glance from the driver’s seat. Jackson has just finished shooting, his fever hasn’t gone down, his nose is stuffed and he can feel a throbbing headache coming up.

 

It was 9 am in the morning and already he feels like shit.

 

He wonders if he’ll be fully recovered by the time the boys arrive in Hong Kong for the concert, and he honestly doubts it. Ah, thank God he has no schedule left for the day. He can just go home and pass out and hopefully not wake up until next Christmas.

 

He misses them, though, all of them. It’s been a few weeks since he saw them – saw Mark, a voice piped up in the back of his head – maybe a whole two months or more, and he actually couldn’t wait to see them again. Even with all the drama at the airport (he had left Mark with a hug, sure, but he still noticed the tears pooling in his eyes again and he didn’t know what to do) Jackson still missed the oldest member the most.

 

The older hasn’t responded to any of Jackson’s texts or calls, and he figures it made sense. It just kind of made him sad knowing that Mark still hasn’t forgiven him yet.

 

The car pulled to a stop and Jackson groaned again. That did definitely not feel like a one hour ride.

 

“Jiaer, are you okay?”

 

“Nothing sleep and some meds can’t fix, jiejie.”

 

Xinhua isn’t convinced, but she let it slide anyway, watching as Jackson sluggishly straightened up and gathered his stuff, preparing to get out of the car. “Can you get to your floor by yourself?”

 

“Yes, I’m fine,” Jackson groaned back in English, seemingly annoyed and grumpy, and Xinhua sighed. She knew that the crankiness was due to his fatigue, and she really did wish she can ease his schedule. If only he’d listen to her. If only he’d listen to anyone.

 

Jackson got out of the car and waved, watching and waiting until his cousin’s car turned the corner before moving to step inside his apartment building.

 

The trip upstairs felt tiring, even more tiring than the entirety of the filming, and Jackson couldn’t think. He didn’t _want_ to think.

 

Pushing his key in the lock and unlocking his door, he toed off his shoes by the door and stumbled inside his home, completely missing the pair of bright red and white sneakers that looked very out of place.

 

Jackson took off his coat and flung it on the sofa, not caring where it landed, and dumped his bag in the hall. His phone charger is in that bag, and he knows that he should fish it out and charge his phone before he fell asleep, but at this moment he really couldn’t care less. Nobody here in China needed him for anything personal and Xinhua’s number is always available for work. No one is going to miss him as he passes out for a few hours on his bed.

 

As he entered his bedroom, though, he felt something was strangely off.

 

Jackson straightened up and forced himself to focus. What was wrong? What didn’t belong? The sound of running water then registered in his brain and all the fatigue went away as Jackson’s body internally panicked.

 

The water in his bathroom is running.

 

Someone is in his house.

 

Jackson’s heart thudded against his ribcage, thoughts racing a million miles an hour. If he ran, he’d give the burglar a chance to escape. He didn’t care why the burglar is using his bathroom – well he did, a bit, but hey, burglars are humans too, right, they need the bathroom – but that'll give the asshole a chance to get away. But if he stayed, he had to take care of the burglar himself because his phone’s out of battery and it’d take time to get his charger and –

 

The water stopped.

 

Jackson tensed.

 

Through the bathroom’s sliding doors, he could see the outline of someone form behind the frosted glass. It was very obviously a man by the broad shoulders and height. The person stepped out of his shower, approaching the glass, and Jackson squared himself.

 

Well fuck this.

 

Jackson’s just gotta take care of this on his own. He can call the police later.

 

Getting himself in a fighting stance, Jackson raised his fists, ready to swing a punch at whoever dared to enter his house without permission –

 

The doors slid open and dark brown eyes stared at him in surprise, hidden behind damp blond locks.

 

Jackson stilled.

 

“Mark!?”


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short markson fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised you guys fluff. I know it's very short, but here it is.  
> Also, I have a really bad writer's block, but I really needed some Markson fluff for myself, so sorry if this seemed rushed but hey lmao  
> Next chapter might have fluff and smut. Idk, we'll see.  
> But we'll be talking about the real stuff soon.

“Ho _shit_!” Mark jumped in surprise, stepping back into the bathroom and slipping on the wet floor. He promptly fell backwards on his butt and hissed at the pain shooting up his back side. He hadn't anticipated for Jackson to come home before he finished his 10-minute shower; it's pretty embarrassing to be caught in nothing but a towel, even if Jackson has seen him naked countless times.

  


Meanwhile, Jackson could only gawk at the half-naked man on his bathroom floor. Well, okay, less than half-naked, to be really honest, because Mark is wearing nothing but a white towel around his waist that barely covers anything at this point because it unraveled when he fell and Mark kinda fell with his legs spread and it wasn’t hard for Jackson’s eyes to trail up from Mark’s nearly-hairless calves to the expanse of smooth skin of Mark’s inner thighs and –

  


_Get your shit together, Wang._

  


“What are you doing here?!” Jackson chose to say instead, stepping forward to help Mark up to his feet. His damp, dark blond hair fell messily into his eyes, and Mark struggled to keep the towel around his waist with one hand while the other held on to Jackson’s. He stood on his feet and shook the stray hair out of his eyes, refusing to look Jackson in the eye.

  


“Mark hyung, why are you here?” he repeated, gentler this time, fighting the instinct to place a hand on Mark’s bare shoulder. He couldn’t help but trail his eyes down Mark’s bare chest, though, and _fuck_ he wants to place his lips on that neck.

  


Mark raised an arm gingerly, shyly trying to cover his chest, and cleared his throat. Jackson snapped out of his thoughts with a blush.

  


“I, uh, I’m working,” Mark answered shifting on his feet, “I’m doing some modeling work in Beijing.”

  


Jackson spluttered. “Beiji – ?!”

  


That made zero sense. Beijing is 2000 kilometres North-ish from Hong Kong, approximately 4 hours away by fucking plane! Him having a job there does not explain anything at all. Sure, he's happy that his hyung managed to snatch an overseas job, but it still doesn't explain much.

  


“Yes, Beijing. Yunjong hyung is there with the rest of my stuff. I only brought my backpack here...” Mark moved away, hand securely on the towel around his waist, making a beeline towards a backpack put away by the foot of the bed. It was tucked on the inner side of the bed, a spot he couldn't see from the door. Mark crouched and started rummaging through it, pulling out clothes.

  


“Yes, okay, but why are you _here_?”

  


Mark didn’t answer, too busy with dressing himself. Jackson could only watch as Mark hesitated to take off the towel, choosing instead to put on his underwear and shorts first before tugging off the towel and putting on a shirt. A voice in the back of his mind pushed him to talk Mark out of using any type of clothing at all. Fuck his imagination. 

  


“Hyung.”

  


Mark straightened up and turned around, looking straight in Jackson’s eyes. He looked sad, hesitant and tired, and Jackson couldn’t help but still think of him as the most beautiful man in the world.

  


“I wanted to see you,” Mark admitted quietly, sitting down on the edge of Jackson’s bed, “None of my calls went through and jiejie didn’t want me to go to a hotel for safety reasons, so she gave me a key.” Mark looked down to his feet. “Sorry.”

  


“Uh. Okay.”

  


So his cousin had given his ex – could they be considered exes? – a key to his apartment, knowing that the breakup wasn’t really on good terms, and had chosen to not tell him anything about it? God, Jackson’s too tired for this. Groaning loudly, Jackson shook his head and stumbled over to his bed, barely acknowledging Mark’s presence. Now that the adrenaline finally escaped his system, Jackson could feel the exhaustion hit him again in full force, and all he wanted is to sleep.

  


“I had more than a dozen bodyguards with me when I came here,” Mark continued as Jackson toed his socks off and slid beneath the covers, “I had to bring them with me if I’m staying at a hotel here. Jiejie convinced them that your apartment would be the safest place, since you live here too, and your team would definitely have the best security.”

  


Jackson just groaned a reply, lying face down on his bed and hugging his pillow, getting comfortable, looking at the back of Mark’s head with sleepy eyes.

  


“And?”

  


Mark turned a bit to get a proper look at the younger, continuing, “And I wanted to see you. Sorry I used your shower.”

  


“Hmm. How long are you staying?” Jackson’s eyes drifted shut.

  


“Dunno. I was hoping we could talk.”

  


“I’m barely alive, hyung,” Jackson mumbled out lazily, sleepily, and Mark could only stare as he felt a certain tightness in his chest that he hadn’t felt in a month or two.

  


He already had his doubts the second he stepped into Jackson’s apartment, feeling as if he’s trespassing. It was unfamiliar, Jackson’s Hong Kong apartment, since he’s only been here once, after all. He knew it’s a mistake to just show up unannounced without consulting Jackson first, no matter what Xinhua jiejie said. Guess dad’s right. Jackson isn’t Mark; 24 hours a day isn’t enough for Jackson, while one day takes too overwhelmingly long to end for Mark. Jackson has his priorities straight, and Mark…

 

 

Well, he’s crashing in his ex’s apartment, grasping at straws, while he’s supposed to be in another town, preparing for a gig tomorrow.

  


God, he feels pathetic.

  


“Oh, right,” was all that Mark could muster, nibbling on his bottom lip as he thought about what he should do. He knew that going is the best option, seeing as he’d hate to overstay his welcome – Jackson did make it clear that he wanted space – but his flight to Beijing leaves tomorrow at four pm and getting a hotel might seem a bit risky…

  


Well, he could always ask Xinhua-jie for help.

  


Mark got to his feet, preparing to leave, when Jackson’s heavy, gruff voice broke the uneasy silence between them. “Where are you going?”

  


Mark frowned, confused. “Uh. Out?”

  


“Why?”

  


“You… Don’t you need to rest?”

  


Jackson untangled an arm from the pillow and pat the empty space beside him. It was an obvious gesture, and obvious invite, but Mark wasn’t sure what to make of it. Could he? _Should_ he?

  


“You need rest too, right? C’mere,” Jackson tried to coax, getting up and leaning on an elbow so he could get a better look. He saw Mark in all his uncertainty, looking like an overgrown lost child, and he decided to take matters into his own hands. He forced himself up and crawled on all fours towards the edge of the bed, closer to a seemingly stunned Mark. The look of pure confusion that Mark wore as Jackson took his wrist was adorable, and for a minute, Jackson forgot that their relationship wasn’t how they used to be.

  


“Sleep with me,” he urged, tugging Mark by the wrist, completely ignoring the implications of his words (although he’s actually very aware.) The older complied, letting himself be dragged on to the bed, lying down and not protesting as Jackson took it upon himself to play big spoon.

  


“Don’t act so scared around me,” Jackson mumbled into Mark’s hair sleepily, suddenly feeling a certain form of comfort that he hasn’t felt in a long, long while. Mark playfully kneed him in the thigh as a form of retaliation, slowly melting into Jackson’s body.

  


“Shush.”

  


“You’re always welcome in my home.” Jackson nuzzled Mark hair and held him tighter, his slurred Chinese sounding oddly comforting to the elder's ears. “Wo ai ni...”

 

The phrase came out of nowhere, and Mark tensed a bit. He felt uncomfortable; what did those words mean? How did Jackson love him? In what way does Jackson love him? Did he even realize what he just said? Did he just say it out of habit?

 

Jackson's soft snores soon filled the room, replacing the room's awkward silence, and Mark couldn't help but smile to himself. Pulling away just a tiny bit, he looked up and took in the younger's handsome features. 

 

Maybe it didn't matter why Jackson said it. Regardless of who, what, where, how and why, the sentiment still stands. Jackson loved him. He cared for him. Jackson meant more to him than the whole world, Jackson  _is_ his world, and he shouldn't stop loving the man just because their romance is on the rocks. The younger will always be his brother, best friend, number one supporter and partner in crime.  ~~As far as Mark is concerned, Jackson is also still his lover, labels be damned.~~

  


“Nado saranghae..” Mark whispered,and he leaned in to press a soft kiss against Jackson's lips, before settling back into the hug and letting the younger's snores lull him to sleep.

 


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Markson fluff

Jackson woke up enveloped in comforting warmth; a warmth he frankly hadn’t felt in a long time. He was holding someone in his arms; someone with strong hard muscles in a lean body and dark blond hair that smelled like Jackson’s own shampoo.

 

Yesterday’s events came flooding into his mind and Jackson couldn’t help a smile as he held his hyung tighter.

 

He knew what he said and he knew what they are now; the small voice in the back of his head kept nudging him to stay consistent and push Mark away. Jackson had to own up to his words. But at the same time, he didn’t want to. Never in a million years would he want to and he just wishes time would stop so he could stay with Mark like this and never have to face any consequences.

 

He wishes.

 

Mark stirred in his hold, the two not really having moved much at all from the position the fell asleep in, and Jackson pulled back a bit to watch Mark wake up.

 

He looked dumb, to be really honest; his face is puffy, his thick hair a big fucking mess, with his eyes looking even more slanted. His brows are furrowed, like it always does when he wakes up – Mark loves sleep more than life – and his soft groans sounded like music.

 

Fuck, Jackson’s whipped, isn’t he?

 

“Mmhhh...” Mark groaned eyes flitting up at Jackson’s face before leaning forward and nuzzling the younger’s neck, mumbling out a soft, raspy, “Morning…”

 

“Morning.” Jackson replied, tugging Mark closer and inhaling the soft scent of his own shampoo mixed with something distinctly _Mark_.

 

“What time is it?”

 

“Uh,” the Hong kong native stole a glance towards the digital clock on the nightstand, “Six pm. Well, seven minutes to six, anyway. It’s pretty dark out, I think.”

 

“My bio-clock is gonna be fucked by the time I reach fifty.”

 

“Health is – ”

 

“One more word about organic shit and I _will_ kill you,” Mark growled, and Jackson couldn’t help but chuckle.

 

“Bacon and eggs are organic. And you love them.”

 

“I like your beef carbonara more.”

 

“You should. I’m a great cook.”

 

“Tasted great but the beef is as chewy as JB’s sandals.”

 

“Says you, Mr. Fry-Everything.”

 

“You can never go wrong with frying. Fried ice cream and fried Oreos exist, you know.”

 

“The amount of cholesterol frightens me.”

 

“What _doesn’_ t frighten you?”

 

Jackson shoved his knee into Mark’s stomach playfully, a form of retaliation, to which Mark replied by giving the younger’s collarbone a bite. Jackson yelped, Mark laughed, and everything honestly felt alright in the world at that moment.

 

The conversation ended there, Jackson’s AC a nice soft background noise – when did he turn that on? – and he desperately wanted to stay here in bed forever but his stomach’s protesting and Jackson knows he needs to get up.

 

As he was about ask his hyung to come to the kitchen with him, Jackson suddenly noticed how calm Mark’s breathing is. A second later, soft snores could be heard and he couldn’t bring it in himself to wake the older up. He slipped out of bed, making sure Mark is tucked beneath the covers, and made his way to the kitchen.

 

Ironically, his fridge is stocked with nothing but instant food. Not many of them required to be fried, however, and it’s practically dinner time anyway, so steak doesn’t really sound like a bad idea, does it?

 

Jackson busied himself with preparing the food, feeling pretty awkward with having to cook something for two, but it wasn’t an unpleasant feeling. It never really is with Mark, anyway. Halfway through grilling the steak with olive oil, Jackson heard Mark shuffle his way quietly into the living room, stopping by the breakfast nook to shoot the kitchen a sleepy glance before he walked off to lie on the sofa. He could feel the older’s eyes on him, watching, and self-consciousness seeped into him.

 

“I hope steak isn’t too much for your sleepy stomach,” Jackson announced, carrying two plates of their food on to the living room area and placing it on the coffee table.

 

The two plates were identical; both had steak, mashed potatoes, butter, cheese and stirred vegetables on it. It looked positively homemade, something made from scratch. Nobody has to know that it’s something instant that came from a company that provided whole dinner meals for hotels preserved in air-tight packets.

 

Mark didn’t comment on it, only mumbling a raspy “thanks”, seemingly way too sleepy – or lazy – and Jackson didn’t say anything either. He just sat down beside the older, grabbed his plate and turned the TV on.

 

The two ate in relative silence beside each other, before Mark finally cleared his throat.

 

"I, uh, I got the modeling job thanks to Xinhua jiejie actually."

 

"How did that happen?" Jackson put a piece of meat in his mouth.

 

"I had a talk with dad, he reminded me about my contract ending and what I was gonna do with my career."

 

"You've been thinking that for a while,  though, haven't you?"

 

"Yeah, but I haven't really found anything I really liked. Except gaming."

 

"But your status as an idol also comes with many advantages, and if you became a gamer you basically threw away the last few years of your life."

 

Mark nodded. "Yeah. I then thought, the KPop fandom in China is facing trouble. And I've been here before, they've heard of me. Modelling is one thing I can definitely pull off. So why not."

 

"Makes sense. So you called jiejie?" Jackson put his utensils down and set his empty plate back on the coffee table. 

 

"No, I asked the company first. When they agreed with my idea,  _then_ I contacted jiejie and just worked my magic."

 

"I see. So you've done clothing lines, and modelling. Why not drop a mixtape?"

 

Mark shrugged, face showing how uncomfy he is with the suggestion, and Jackson didn't push further. He knew how Mark's self-esteem worked. No matter how much Jackson supported him, offered to help him, Mark just didn't budge. At first it was giving up singing, and sticking to rapping. But then he gave up writing songs because it didn't fit the team's image (despite the all of the positive attention it got) and he somehow slacked on the lyric-writing department, as well.

 

Jackson knows how well a mixtape by Mark would sell between Ahgase, but he also knows that JYP wouldn't entertain such thoughts. They're too busy with their overseas projects and label projects and preparing that girlgroup team for Somi... Speaking of Somi, that girl is rumored to quit the company soon, and if that really happens they certainly wouldn't have time to build up a team to help Mark with his solo project. If an ever-persistent Jimin -- who writes her own songs and lyrics -- needed years to be acknowledged by the company, how long would it take Mark?

 

“Have you, uh, perfected the choreography yet?” the older's voice piped up, breaking the silence, and Jackson internally groaned at the mention of their impending comeback. He has many conflicted feelings about it, but answered nonetheless.

 

“Yeah. Jiejie also arranged a studio for us to practice together later.”

 

“Together?” Mark did that thing where he scrunched up his whole face and Jackson felt like leaning over to kiss that frown away. He didn’t.

 

“Yeah. You guys are coming here for the concert, remember?”

 

“Oh. Right, right…”

 

Their conversation died off again, and Mark wordlessly collected Jackson’s plate, taking them to the sink and washing them. Jackson didn’t know what to do, so he just sat there, watching Mark work.

 

It was… awkward.

 

Weird.

 

Jackson didn’t know how to advance, or whether he even should. Sure, Mark came here with all the good intentions, even offering to talk – whatever that may mean – and sure, they fell asleep cuddling. All of it may be romantic, but in a way, it didn’t really mean anything.

 

The two have been very comfortable with each other since years ago. They cuddled, nuzzled, even sold their bromance (along with it their relationship) off to the media to garner attention and build a bigger fandom.

 

And to be really honest, it’s actually okay, at first. It even helped them realize their feelings for each other, at one point.

 

But then other ships surfaced, and along with it devoted shippers. Both Mark and Jackson received death threats – Mark more than him because, apparently, Jackson is shippable with everyone – and the older already had serious doubts because of the hate he received regarding Grace’s wedding.

 

In short, it was a mess. They both hid their relationships; Mark by not really acknowledging their status and Jackson by single-handedly sinking their ship, denying the relationship at all.

 

In hindsight, maybe Jackson has been way more cruel. He isn’t completely dumb; he’s seen their V-lives and the way Mark’s face changed when Jackson would say “I love you” to all the other members but him. He’s noticed the way Mark’s face would fall or switch to annoyance every time he dismissed Mark’s playful flirting… Or scold the older… Or outright ignore him…

 

But that’s kind of the way their relationship has to be, isn’t it? Nobody can know, and he has to tamp down on all the shipping and rumors, hasn’t he? What if they keep encouraging it, or ignore it, and someone eventually finds out the truth?

 

Being in front and behind camera is way different, isn’t it?

 

Jackson groaned and buried his face in his hands.

 

This is why he requested that break up, the temporary time-out. He’s shit. He can’t give Mark anything, and he seems to be making the wrong decisions all the time, too. He can’t prioritize Mark; his career is too important for him to allow something as trivial as a romantic relationship to get in between him and his dreams. He has no right demanding Mark to acknowledge their relationship if he himself is unable to prioritize Mark's feelings (and Mark himself).

 

Jackson is too selfish, and he realizes that all too well. Mark deserves someone way better. Preferably one of the opposite gender. 

 

“Gaga, you okay?” came Mark’s voice, Mandarin rolling off his tongue with ease, and Jackson looked up to stare at the man he believes is the love of his life. Said man sat down beside him and shot his a worried look. “Are you late for any schedules?”

 

Jackson shook his head and got up. “No, I’m just really tired. I think I’m gonna take shower. I’ve been working for over twelve hours by now… Wanna come with?”

 

It came out as a joke, on reflex.

 

Jackson intended it as a joke, he swears. He’s just so used to flirting and play-flirting with him that he forgot what –

 

“Sure, if you’d let me.”


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a continuation of ch31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> like I stated so many times before, I have no fucking idea where this is going.  
> so, yeah, bear with me  
> there won't be any real plot development until Hard Carry 2 comes out
> 
> sorry this is so shitty and short

Jackson’s standing there, gaping like a fish, and Mark has to admit that it does look kinda funny. It’s rare to see witty Jackson at a loss for words.

 

So Mark laughs, his high-pitched squeaky laughter echoing in the otherwise empty room, and Jackson reached forward to smack his shoulder. Mark half-heartedly tried to dodge, which he didn’t really succeed in, and Jackson walked off to his room with a smile, most likely to take that shower.

 

Laughter dying down, Mark stood and also headed to Jackson’s room, unplugging his phone from the charger and scrolling through his messages. It only consisted of Yunjong hyung reminding him about his flight, Xinhua jie informing him about the security details for his departure to the airport later, and some random SNS notifications.

 

Lying down on Jackson’s bed, Mark scrolled through the notifications, replying to some and ignoring the rest, not really in the mood for much interaction. He has a lot on him at the moment.

 

“Hey, Jacks?” he called, voice loud and clear, and Jackson replied from inside the bathroom, voice echoing.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Why did you break up with me?”

 

For a minute, the question was left unanswered, both men silent, the only sound coming from the showers.

 

Mark sighed.

 

Maybe it really wasn’t a good idea to come here, or to ask these questions. They resolved enough at the airport, and none of them needed the added stress while being so near to a comeback.

 

“We were never really dating, though, hyung,” came Jackson’s echoing voice from the bathroom, tone sing-songy and playful, and Mark smiled to himself. Typical of the younger to try and make the situation feel a bit lighter.

 

“Okay, why did you end our arrangement, then? Did the sugar daddy get bored of his sugar baby?”

 

The shower turned off and Mark could hear him – and kind of see his silhouette – walking around and toweling himself off. Seconds later, Jackson’s damp self stepped out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist, similar like how Mark was the previous time,

 

“You’re the older one, I’m supposed to be the sugar baby.”

 

“You’re the rich and successful one.”

 

“Don’t say that,” Jackson sighed, walking over to his closet, “You can be as successful, too.”

 

Jackson knew that the older did mean it as a joke. He also knew that he just kinda soured the mood by his answer – he doesn’t dare to look around and confirm his negativity by looking at Mark’s reaction. Instead, he focused on getting his clothes out of the closet, and taking them back to the bathroom because he just felt a bit too uncomfortable to change in front his hyung.

 

~~(He doesn’t want to know how Mark must’ve perceived this. He thinks he knows. But he doesn’t want to think about it.)~~

 

“Thanks to my sugar daddy,” Mark continued, keeping up the joke, “But seriously, Gaga. Why.”

 

Again, Jackson took his time in answering, fully changing and hanging up his towel before stepping out of the bathroom and sitting next to Mark, who by this point has already laid down on his back, head hanging off of the edge of the bed, staring up at the younger upside-down.

 

“Gagaaaaaa,” Mark whined, still upside-down, and Jackson gave his tummy a pat.

 

“Yeah, well, I already explained myself. We gotta figure ourselves out.”

 

“And you want me to find someone better.”

 

“I, well, yes, but. Not in the way you probably think.”

 

“You said you loved me.” Mark finally turned on his back, his head still hanging off the edge of the bed nonetheless.

 

“You used past tense in that. I still love you.” Jackson placed a palm beneath Mark’s neck and pulled him up, urging the older to lie down appropriately. Mark complied, scooting over to place his head on Jackson’s lap instead.

 

“My Mandarin is perfectly fine, thank you, and I still don’t understand _why._ People in love don’t break up.”

 

Mark shifted so he could bring his hand up and fiddle at the hem of Jackson’s shirt, the heat from Jackson’s thighs comfortable against his cheek. Jackson, again, took his time to reply, probably thinking about the best way to explain it in a way Mark couldn’t argue with.

 

“I… I don’t think I can give you anything,” Jackson started, running his fingers through Mark’s thick locks.

 

“Elaborate.”

 

“I’m too busy. I’m away all the time, and I can’t tend to you, either. I missed a lot of dates.”

 

“Still don’t get it.” Mark mumbled, having moved on from Jackson’s shirt to playing with the strings of Jackson’s trainers.

 

“Bottom line, I’m no good for you. You can’t marry me – ”

 

“My sister is _lesbian_.”

 

“ – well, my family isn’t as open-minded as yours – also, shush. You can’t marry me, we can’t have kids – _biologically_ – and you can’t show me off. We don’t do shit that couples do, we can’t, even, and I’m always away. I also know, for a fact, that you’re tactile. So, yeah. I can’t… _provide._ Fuck is that even the right word? I mean, fuck, look, you deserve the world. And I can’t give you that. I can’t give you anything. I can’t prioritize you, _ever_. My career will always come first and – OW! FUCK!”

 

Sharp pain shot up from Jackson’s lower abdomen, and he quickly shoved Mark away, rubbing his lower stomach. Mark has successfully played with and tugged out a few hairs from Jackson’s happy trail, and it hurt like a bitch.

 

The culprit merely giggled and snorts. “You sound like an angsty teenager. You know I don’t care about that stuff. Sure, it’s hard, but we survived, right? Until you broke up with me.”

 

“I did it for – ”

 

“No, you did it for _you_ ,” Mark cut off, sitting up and looking at Jackson on eye-level, “Just like I refused to label us because _I_ was scared.” He reached out a hand to cup Jackson’s jaw.

 

“You prioritize me enough, Gaga, you do. I mean, you helped me write my solo even though you have your own solo and your own singles to think about. You flew all the way from Hong Kong just to check up on me because I got high. That’s more than enough, especially in your position.”

 

Jackson leaned into Mark’s touch, closing his eyes.

 

Mark is right. He is so, so, right. Everything he said made sense. Jackson knows the older is right, and he knows that the only logical thing to do here is just, get back together. They could put all of this behind them and get back to how they were before. But somehow, _somehow_ , he just can’t. He doesn’t _want_ to go back to how they were before because it’s toxic and –

 

“I’m sorry,” Mark sighed, noting Jackson’s hesitance, and he moved in to hold the younger in his arms, “I know what I said, I was wrong, too. I’m sorry.”

 

“I’m sorry, too.”

 

Silence.

 

The two locked eyes. 

 

"So, what now?"

 


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The noon after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Terrible writer's block and lack of comments make satsuki a very lazy, unmotivated amoeba.  
> As I said, comments motivate me to write, so, yeah.
> 
> Sorry if this chapter is shitty and short.

A shrill sound tore Jackson away from slumber’s warm embrace, forcing his brain into gear. It took his sleep-addled brain a few seconds to realize the sound of his alarm, to which he slowly sat up a bit slumped. The noise kept invading his ears, and a voice in the back of his head begged him to make that noise go away. His body felt too light to move, though, and his eyelids felt too heavy to open.

  


Jackson sat there.

  


A minute or five later, after having successfully moved an arm, Jackson forced his whole body to move so he could locate his phone and shut that damned alarm off. It was quite the struggle, but by the time he got his hands on the offensive piece of electronic, his brain’s fully awake and his body didn’t feel as heavy as before.

  


Sitting on the edge of his bed, Jackson idly looked around his room, eyes falling on an orange, oversized hoodie draped over the back of his computer chair.

  


Mark immediately filled his senses and Jackson whipped his head to his side as he remembered the surprise guest that had barged into his home yesterday.

  


There was nobody there.

  


Ignoring the sinking feeling in his stomach, Jackson frowned, and an image of Mark appeared in his head. The older was hovering over him, kissing him goodbye with a soft “go back to sleep, I’ll see you soon” whispered onto his skin. The Hong Kong native could still faintly hear Mark’s trademark soft giggle and his chest constricted at the thought of his hyung’s small smile.

  


Jackson unlocked his phone, the numbers 19.13 staring back at him from the screen.

  


Ah, Mark’s flight left two hours ago, if his memory served him right… Jackson sighed heavily to himself, and stood up to go towards the kitchen as he thought about yesterday.

  


Today is Jackson’da day off; yesterday should also have counted as a day off but Jackson didn’t really think of it as such since he finished shooting at 9 in the morning and only managed to sleep at around 10. It’s a good thing Mark was there, or else it would have been another stress-infused, restless slumber.

  


Pressing the glass of water against his lips, Jackson leaned back against the breakfast nook, staring at the empty living room sofa where mark had just sat a few hours ago.

  


He remembered them eating steak on that sofa, before moving to the bedroom to talk and squabble – with Jackson in the shower, mind you. Like, honestly, what kind of a couple squabbles while the other is in the shower? The two of them do, apparently – and Jackson smiled to himself as he reminisced about what the squabbling slowly turned into.

  


Jackson could still recall Mark’s determination through his eyes as he proposed them to get back together, and actually put a name to what they are. They had both agreed on keeping it between the two of them for after the comeback; they planned on telling the others after promotions have ended.

  


He downed the rest of the warm water and put the glass on the counter.

  


He wished he had woken up this morning, if only to watch Mark get ready.

  


Jackson walked back inside his room, and immediately noticed the article of clothing Mark had left behind, most likely on purpose. He took the top and carried it to bed with him, wiggling beneath the covers before cuddling it to his face, burying his nose into the fabric and indulging himself in his boyfriend’s scent.

  


He couldn’t wait for August to end.


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bambam finds a fanvid and the GOT7 members find out Markson is real

It has been a good month since Mark and Jackson made up. The boys found themselves stumbling into September, a couple of days before the initial release of their comeback. They have already recorded some of their comeback stages, and are right now taking a break in the dorms because when else will they have time off that allows them to do something else beside sleeping, eating, showering and rehearsing?

  


“GUYS LOOK!”

  


Everyone in the living room rather heard Bambam first than saw him; his voice reached over two seconds faster than his body that barreled out from the maknae’s room. Everyone – except Yugyeom, who was trailing behind Bambam with a huge grin on his face – looked up at the hurricane that was their Thai member.

  


He plopped himself down between Jackson and Youngjae, phone stretched out in front of him. The other members gathered around to take a look at what all the fuss is about. Bambam pressed the rectangular ‘play’ button in the middle of the screen, and the Youtube video played.

  


At first, it seemed completely tacky. It looked like your typical, run-of-the-mill conspiracy fanvid, titled “Markson Analysis”. According to the introductory wall of text, the sole purpose of the video was to lay out facts about the Markson couple being real. The X-Files theme song played, and the boys all groaned.

  


“Is there a point to this? We’ve seen shit like this a dozen times already,” Youngjae grumbled, Jinyoung and Jackson agreeing to it, but Yugyeom shushed them both.

  


“Hyung, just watch. It’s creepily accurate.”

  


Mark snorted and just didn’t pay much attention to the video.

  


At first.

  


The more the video progressed, however, more and more text showed, pictures or video snippets only serving as proof. The 20 minute analysis video started off from some of the obvious Markson stuff, but then it got to screencaps of things that Mark or Jackson said during fan meets or interviews. It evolved into the small subtle gestures they made during schedules, backed up with body language theories and psychological theories as well.

  


It was obvious that yienjiaer852 knew what they’re talking about, and isn’t your regular type of fan that ships without context. They actually did their homework, and Mark felt his heart hammering in his chest. He didn’t know why, and he wasn’t keen on finding out, either.

  


“Here, here!” Yugyeom suddenly exclaimed, pointing at the screen, “Here’s where it gets creepy!”

  


Sure enough, pictures of Mark and Jackson appeared on screen, with text on the side explaining when and where it went down, and to which Got7 schedule it was related to. Old pictures from during their debut days until their latest ones showed up, all pointing out the difference in Mark and Jackson’s behavior.

  


It even showed timestamps of when Markson skinship made sense and why; it even told apart which was fanservice and which was genuine. It even guessed when Markson started dating and when they had their fights. This video is showing all the right facts and asking all the right questions, it actually made Mark’s skin crawl.

  


Whoever made this seemed to either be a Korean Ahgase or someone who had a knack in collecting information, because the accuracy is very, _very_ alarming.

  


“You know,” Jaebum spoke up a second after the video ended and the group fell silent, “If I had been a random fan, I would have totally believed that Markson is real. That… is a very well-executed video.”

  


Beside him, Bambam snorted. “Hyung, even as a GOT7 member I would believe they’re dating. This video just kinda backs up all of the stuff they do here at home. It showed me stuff I wasn’t even aware of, lol!”

  


Jaebum and Jinyoung openly cringed at Bambam’s verbal usage of the word “lol”, but didn’t comment on it. Instead, Youngjae piped up with a curious look towards his two hyungs.

  


“Hey, guys, speaking of Markson…” Youngjae turned to face said two Chinese men, “Hyung, I’ve noticed that the two of you have been really… weird with each other. You guys are being very hot and cold, and it’s weirding me out and honestly making me pretty uncomfortable.”

  


An awkward immediately fell around the boys. Jackson twisted his mouth, with Mark crossing his arms defensively, as the others stayed silent, listening intently to what else Youngjae had to say.

  


“I don’t mind, stuff happens, I get it,” the main vocalist continued, “But, like… I feel I’d be able to tolerate it better if I just understood what’s going on between the two of you…” he trailed off, and for a moment, it was silent again.

  


Both Mark and Jackson were shooting each other glances, neither of them knowing what to say. The other members were all, waiting for either Youngjae to continue and voice out his question, or for the two older foreign members to speak up and offer an explanation.

  


Neither happened.

  


Finally, Jinyoung audibly sighed.

  


“Okay, look, this is getting ridiculous. We’re all thinking the same thing.” He eyed his two hyungs and took his shot. “Jackson. Mark hyung. Are you two dating, yes or no?”

  


The reply was instantaneous.

  


“Yes.” “No.”

  


Mark and Jackson looked at each other in shock.

  


“I mean, no.” “I mean, yes.”

  


The two looked at each other again, both more confused than anything, and this time Mark actually frowned at Jackson. Jinyoung and Yugyeom groaned in unison, and Mark bowed his head as Jackson sighed in defeat.

  


“We honestly don’t know,” the Hong Kong native offered, “we, uh, we did talk about it, when Mark came to Beijing – ”

  


“Wait, wait, _wait_ ,” Bambam interrupted, “So there really _is_ something?”

  


“Yes,” Jinyoung answered for the couple instead, “But they haven’t labeled it.” His answer prompted the members to turn and look at him with wide eyes.

  


“Jirongie, you’re in on it?” Jaebum spoke up quietly beside him, to which Jinyoung shrugged. Jaebum was about to open his mouth and say something else when Jinyoung cleared his throat, and Jackson took that as a sign to continue.

  


“Anyways, yeah, we, uh. I guess,” Jackson shot a glance at Mark, “I guess we _are_ dating?” sounding very unsure of himself. Mark’s timid, encouraging smile however, reassured him more than anything else ever could.

  


“Yeah, we are,” Mark piped up, backing up Jackson’s statement and the room fell silent as the other five members just stared at the two foreigners. Feeling uncomfortable, Jackson cleared his throat.

 

“Ahem. Yeah, so uh. We’re dating. Officially," he spoke up hesitantly under the stares of his group mates, stumbling over his words, "So, we uh, kinda need help from you guys to stop us from showing it to the public too much.”

 

Mark shot him a small frown at the mention of PDA, immediately thinking about all of the times Jackson openly shot down all of his advances outside of the comfort of their rooms. The eldest quickly tamped the thought down and quickly looked away, focusing on assessing their groupmates.

 

Bambam, seemingly unfazed, folds his arms over his chest. “And what makes you think we approve of this… _gay_ behaviour?”

 

Jackson paled at the seriousness of the young Thai boy's tone, blinking as his brain scrambled for an answer, but his boyfriend had already beat him to it.

 

“You’ve seen us being cuddly for over four years and even assumed we’ve been dating. Not much is gonna change,” Mark deadpanned, and the room fell silent as the two glared at each other. It didn’t take long, though, because Bambam then squealed, _loudly_ , before throwing himself into Mark’s arms and yelling about how happy he is for the two of his hyungs.

 

Jinyoung looked on, a soft, simple smile on his face as he watched Jackson and Yugyeom join the cuddle pile. Youngjae and Jaebum were judging the four so, _so_ hard and Jinyoung stepped forward to break up the four puppies.

 

“Okay, okay, break it up guys, we have a comeback to promote.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MARK'S OMW MV KILLED ME HAHAHA   
> IT'S SUCH A MARKSON BRAINCHILD   
> AND MARK'S SINGING VOICE IS ALSO A U G H
> 
> THIS IS MY SPIRIT TALKING TO YA'LL OK
> 
> I AM GAY FOR MARK TUAN AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME (except for probably Sunmi nuna lmao she's the loml)


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm planning on fluff for the next chapter or two, because I'm still overwhelmed by Lullaby and Mark's solo.  
> Some plot development will be delivered after the fluff, because I already have things in mind but I also have to watch their promo shoots for some additional info to make it feel more real.
> 
> From here on out, the updates will not be as often as before.  
> This Markson fic will only be updated according to real-life events.
> 
> I will be focusing on the JJP side story.

All things considered, everyone actually took their dating news pretty well. Youngjae did scrunch up a bit at the thought of having to witness more of his hyung’s gay moments, but Yugyeom then pointed out that they’ve kind of been gross since even before debut anyway and Bambam made an ultimatum to quit the group if he ever so much catches them in anything sex related.

  


Mark had then, of course, flung a throw pillow – pun kind of not intended – at the Thai boy’s head, claiming how he has zero rights to say that since he doesn’t even live in the dorms anyway.

  


That day ended on a happy note, and now here Mark is, weeks after, a happiness settled in him as he sat on a chair and leaned on Jinyoung’s shoulder, the two of them watching Bambam getting interviewed for their comeback.

  


“Hey, Nyoungie.”

  


“Hm?”

  


“How’s things going with Jaebum?”

  


Jinyoung gave no response whatsoever to the question, not a sound or a flinch, and Mark frowned. Did the younger even hear his question?

  


“Nyoung.”

  


“Hm?”

  


“How’s JB?”

  


Again, no answer.

  


Confused, Mark sat up and looked at his dongsaeng, and found him thinking. His face seemed pretty blank, and Mark recognized that as his frustrated thinking face. He moved to assume his former position and spoke up again.

  


“That bad, huh?”

  


“… It’s not bad per se. I just don’t want to think about it. Let him figure himself out first.”

  


“Ah.”

  


“Yup.”

  


A comfortable silence fell in between them again.

  


“How’s Sseunie?”

  


Now it’s Jinyoung’s speaking up, grinning at nobody in particular, and he could hear the smile in Mark’s reply.

  


“You’re a tease. Nothing’s changed and you know it.”

  


“True, but I also know how possessive you can get.”

  


Jinyoung received a playful squeeze to the thigh and the two men giggled to themselves.

  


“We’re doing just fine. Nothing’s really changed. We just don’t feel like we have to be so careful all the time now.”

  


“One of the maknaes will most likely say something if the two of you are getting too gross.”

  


“They’ll say stuff anyway regardless.”

  


In the distance, the two watched as Bambam sat up with a huge smile, bowed to the interviewer and made his way over to them as Youngjae took Bambam’s place in front of the cameras. The Thai boy sat down in Mark’s lap like it was nobody’s business and ignored the look Jinyoung gave him.

  


“Mark hyung, can you come with me to the pet shop tomorrow? I can finally pick up King!” Bambam exclaimed, a huge smile on his face, and Jinyoung wondered how it felt to be able to live so carefree and accepting of everything.

  


“King?” the Korean man asked, “You’re getting another pet?”

  


“Yup!” Bambam beamed, popping the “p”, “He’s a 3 month old kitten, really, _really_ cute and his fur is grey all over and he’s fierce but clingy and he reminds me of T’Challa so I named him King! Because, you know, T’Challa is Panther King of Wakanda! Get it?”

  


Jinyoung cringed, not really attempting to mask it either, and Mark placed a hand on his thigh in an attempt to placate and prevent the Korean of saying anything savage.

  


“Do I have to pick you up, too?” the eldest asked instead, hooking his chin over Bambam’s shoulder, and the younger nodded.

  


“ _Yes_ , please!”

  


“Wow, Bambam has manners.” Jinyoung commented dryly, a teasing smirk on his face, and then a pillow suddenly landed on his lap out of nowhere.

  


“Wha – ”

  


The three looked up and found Jaebum holding another pillow in the distance, ready to throw another one at them as he stood behind the cameras, waiting for his turn. The leader pressed a finger to his pursed lips, eyes narrowed in warning, and the three giggled.

  


Another pillow flew across the room and smacked Mark in the face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come yell at me on Twitter @sylentiia or Instagram @1006syl if you have a plotbunny you want me to write


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMW IS A MARKSON ANTHEM AND NOBODY CAN CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE  
> ALSO LULLABY IS A BOP AND GOT7's APPEARANCE IN IDOL ROOM CRACKED ME UP
> 
> yes, that is all. ahm.  
> pls enjoy this short chapter.
> 
> warning :
> 
> i lied.

Jackson opens the door to his apartment, walking in and making a beeline straight to the sofa. He faceplants himself and ignores the sound of Mark’s footsteps, the sound of the door clicking closed and locking, and the fumbling sound of clothes.

  


Mark is probably hanging up his coat or something. Jackson can’t really bring himself to care right now.

  


“Gaga.”

  


Jackson felt a few pats landing on his ass, and groaned out a reply.

  


“Wuh?”

  


“Up. Bed. Come on.”

  


Mark sounded as tired as Jackson felt, and the younger could feel the older standing there behind him, arms probably folded in front of his chest and staring holes into Jackson’s ass.

  


… yeah okay that sounded weird, even in his head.

  


Jackson groaned and pushed himself up, pouting like a child as he got to his feet and toed his shoes off before walking to his room and ignoring Mark’s presence. He sat his ass on the bed and tiredly unbuttoned his shirt, frowning with his lips in a line. Mark followed, but undressed with more grace, taking everything off except his underwear and draping his clothes over a chair in the room.

  


Already familiar, Mark rummaged through Jackson’s closet, pulling out two pairs of pants that could pass as pajamas – although Mark is pretty sure he’s holding track pants in one hand and an oversized pair of boxers in the other. Standing in his underwear, he held up the two clothing articles in front of Jackson, silently telling the other to choose.

  


The boxers were tugged out of his hands and Mark wordlessly slipped on the track pants, before pulling up the covers and sliding beneath, making himself comfortable. Jackson followed soon after, and Mark felt the younger’s arms snake around his waist, pulling him close and resting their head on his shoulder.

  


None of the two bothered to shower or remove their makeup, having to wake up later to do another shoot anyway. Wordlessly, the two fell asleep.

 

-o-

 

The sky is a beautiful dark blue, littered with stars, as Jackson’s car made its way through the near-empty streets of Seoul.

  


Soft music filtered through the car’s speakers, and Mark’s eyes were focused on to the screen of his phone, as Jackson’s were on the road. The digital clock on the dashboard showed 00:47 and the two had less than twenty minutes to arrive at the shoot location before they were deemed late.

  


Mark being quiet was honestly nothing new. As the years passed and the two grew more comfortable with each other, they actually spent more time together in silence than anything else. Except the occasional grudge or curse word escaping Mark’s lips as he’s immersed in his game, or a nudge from Jackson to bring the older’s attention to a funny meme or video, no attempt at real interaction is made.

  


Mark’s silence this time, however, felt really off. It made Jackson uncomfortable to the point of being unable to fully focus on the road.

  


“Hyung.”

  


“Hm?”

  


“Could you call JB for me? Ask if the others have arrived yet?”

  


“Uh, yeah. Sure.”

  


The answer was a distracted one, and Jackson didn’t have to be someone close to him to notice. He let it slide, though, chalking it up to one of Mark’s thinking moods, and waited for Mark to make the call to JB. They only have ten minutes left, and Jackson isn’t sure if they were gonna arrive on time.

 

He'll ask Mark later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i lied.  
> i planned to make it fluffy.  
> but hey, it turns out i suck at fluff.   
> so, here's so preluding to some angst.  
> i promise this has a happy ending. 
> 
> somewhere.
> 
> ANYBODY KNOWS WHERE THIS IS GOING? :)
> 
> also, heads up.
> 
> no comments simply mean no updates...  
> because NO COMMENTS means NO INSPIRATION to write
> 
> I cant and wont bother my hyung 24/7 just to get plot ideas.


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something's wrong with Mark.

It’s only been five days, but the boys were all busy up to their necks with promotions of their newest comeback. Despite most comeback stages and interviews being filmed weeks before the actual release, they still have a few live stuff to film (for it to then air a week later, so it’s technically not live, but, details).

  


It’s no surprise if anyone turns out to be irritable, really.

  


Yugyeom is clinging to Bambam like the Thai boy is his personal bolster, failing in pulling the boy over to the back of the van as Bambam flopped on an aisle seat. Both Youngjae and Mark were distant, body language insisting on being left alone, and Mark had immediately slid in to take shotgun.

  


Youngjae and Jackson took the aisle seats, Jackson beside Bambam and Youngjae in front of the younger, leaving the JJParents with the baby at the back. Yugyeom had immediately cuddled up to Jinyoung the minute the older sat his ass down, making himself comfortable. Jinyoung himself leaned his whole weight on to Jaebum, who sat beside him.

  


(Jackson internally cooed at the sight, and he would’ve voiced it out if he weren’t so damn tired.)

  


After making sure everyone’s inside and accounted for, Jackson closed the van’s door, with help from Youngjae, and Byungyong started the engine.

  


The whole van is quiet.

  


-o-

  


Jackson jolted awake as a hand gently shook his shoulder, opening his eyes to find Jaebum staring down at him.

  


“We’re here, come on.”

  


Complying, Jackson blinked himself awake and took a second before climbing out of the van, stretching his arms before looking around.

  


The September night air on his face is cool, borderline cold, even, and Jackson took in his surroundings. Amidst the silent moving in the dark, the Hong Kong native could make out Jinyoung sitting side-ways in the driver’s seat of his car, legs hanging out of the car door. Jackson watches in slight awe as Jaebum tries, and succeeds, into herding a sleepy pair of Yugbam towards Jinyoung’s car. Youngjae is already nowhere to be seen, and Mark was waiting by Jackson’s car.

  


“Drive safe, guys,” was the only thing muttered between the lot of them, and nobody could really tell who said it. Jackson climbed inside his car, watching Jinyong pull out of JYPE Building’s driveway, Byungyong hyung’s car following not long after, before turning the engine on and starting the trip home himself.

  


The drive to Jackson’s apartment was quiet.

  


Way too quiet.

  


But even then, Jackson held on to his word – held on to their unspoken mutual understanding – and didn’t ask. A quick glance beside him already showed Mark looking exhausted anyway, and Jackson doesn’t want to add anything on to his hyung’s plate.

  


The Chinese man merely parked his car and guided his boyfriend out of the car, a hand securely around Mark’s narrow waist during the whole entire elevator ride up and the small walk to his apartment.

  


Glancing at the older as he walked inside, Mark looked like he could murder anyone who got in his way and Jackson pursed his lips.

  


“ _Mark hyung kept staring at his phone during your interview, scrolling through forums.”_ Bambam.

  


“ _Did something happen? Nobody knows anything but I saw Jinye noona talking to Mark hyung for quite a long while, and I’m pretty sure it has zero to do about marketing.”_ Jaebum.

  


“ _Jackson hyung… Has Mark hyung been sleeping well lately?”_ Yugyeom, asking him because Mark has been (and will be) sleeping over at Jackson’s place during the whole of promotions.

  


“ _Sseunie...”_ Jackson had cut Jinyoung off before the younger could say anything else.

  


Jackson knows that he can be dense at certain times.

  


Well, mostly, he’s just _acting_ dense, because he chooses to not react on the silly signals people send him, but nobody needs to know that.

  


That aside, though, Jackson knows he certainly does not need these numerous nudges from the others because he already _knows_ that something is off with Mark. It already has been since a few weeks before anyway, but the problem is: Jackson didn’t really know how to approach the subject.

  


The two of them were friends before they were boyfriends, and their whole relationship has always been based on trust and comfortability. Unless the problem is something between the two of them, something they need to talk about, neither Mark nor Jackson will try to coax anything out of the other. Jackson trusts Mark to come and talk to him when Mark’s ready, and he knows Mark trusts him to do the same.

  


Jackson’s worried as fuck, but he needs to trust Mark to come to _him_.

  


A heavy sigh escaped Mark’s lips, sounding both tired and annoyed somehow.

  


Jackson still doesn’t say anything.

  


But he does reach out to wrap his arms around Mark from behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regarding a comment in the last chapter that kind of bothered me...
> 
> Look, I am not begging for comments bc I want or need the praise.  
> Sure, feeling happy motivates me to write something up out of thin air, and more motivation means frequent updates.
> 
> But to be very honest, I treat all of your comments as brainstorming ideas.  
> I NEED your comments to trigger my plot bunnies.
> 
> Also I'm sorry to those whom I haven't replied to yet.  
> I will reply to all of you eventually, also while fixing mistakes in previous chapters, but I can only do that when I have time.
> 
> Again, any and all constructive input are very welcome.


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackson get a text from an unexpected person

**[NEW MESSAGE] Baby Zeyu - (1) "gege are you rly dating ... "**

 

  
Jackson was not shy to admit that the message notification got him choking on his cookie. Feeling the panic steadily rise, Jackson unlocked his phone and clicked on the new chat message. What he saw made him feel like he just had a heart attack.

 

 

 

**Baby Zeyu**

gege are you rly dating a boy?!?!

13.01

 

…

What

17.21

i heard han ge talk 2 hao ge

17.27

About what

17.27

rumors.

ヽ(*´∀｀)ノ

17.27

  


r u rly dating mark ge??????

17.28

  


  


Jackson stared at his phone blankly.

  


There was a moral dilemma here that made it hard for him to react.

  


Aside from the fact that he _should_ be freaking out about his adopted little brother having found out about his relationship – all the way from fucking _China_ , with zero knowledge about the Korean (and English) language – he is right now a bit more occupied with finding a way to reply to this.

  


Sure, he could go ahead and tell Zeyu the truth, and see it as educating the 12 year old. However, homosexuality is still a taboo topic nobody really talks about openly and Jackson isn’t sure he wants to take responsibility for that. He couldn’t really risk the boy to go around asking questions or claiming things – God knows he could start questioning Mingrui and Hanyu’s brotherly affections. There’s also the possibility of Zeyu himself bullying others – although he trusts the boy enough to know he wont, but, Murphy’s Law – or him asking his parents about it.

  


Yeah, no. Jackson’s not taking any chances.

  


**Baby Zeyu**

gege

(ﾉﾟοﾟ)ﾉ　ｵｵｫｫｫ-

17.30

  


gege

gegeeee

gegeeeeee

gegeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

ヾ( ) ´∀｀( )ヽ(´Д`；)ﾉ

tell me th truth or ill ask mark gege myself!!!!!

17.31

You dont even have his number

17.31

i have my ways ∠(˙-˙ )／

zihao gege can get it for me

17.31

  


rui ge sez its true if ur avoiding my q

17.32

We’re not dating

Where did you get that rumor from anyway

Where did your gege get it from

17.32

(´･_･`)

idk

internet?

i jst wanna know

17.32

  


bc u 2 look rly qt 2gther (^▽^)

17.33

Qt? Cute?

17.33

yh u 2 look rly happy n qt

r u admitting tht u 2 r dating??????

(*ﾟДﾟ艸)

17.33

Haha very smart

No we’re not

We’re just really close friends

17.33

  


Anw gtg

Gonna perform soon

Wish me luck

Jiayou with your comeback

17.34

yessir (ﾉﾟοﾟ)ﾉ　jiayoooooooooooooooooou

17.34

  


“Gaga.”

  


Jackson’s head whipped up so fast he swears he’s got a crick in his neck.

  


“Yeah?”  
  


Mark looked a bit concerned; the subtle frown etched into his forehead is made even more visible by the hairpin keeping his styled hair out of his eyes and Jackson’s heart couldn’t help but skip a beat. Mark merely looked at him, his blank thinking face on, and stood up to walk over to him once the makeup noona gave him a pat on the shoulder to dismiss him.

  


“What’re you thinking?” he asked, sitting down beside Jackson. He looked so gorgeous, attractive and beautiful and Jackson feels both as the luckies man on Earth, but also the ugliest.

  


“Stuff.”

  


“ _Stuff_.” Mark deadpanned, eyebrows raised and arms crossed. He definitely wasn't buying it, but Jackson honestly didn't feel like telling him -- okay no that's a lie, he  _did_ want to tell the older; he just couldn't really figure out  _how_. Besides, it's nothing really important, is it? Zeyu probably overheard Zihao and Hanyu stumbling upon some fan rumors.

  


“Yeah.”

  


“China stuff?” Mark tried again, and Jackson nodded stiffly.

  


“Yup.” He popped the "p", fully aware that Mark probably already knows something's really wrong now, and he'd probably just spill everything if Mark asked him one last time --

  


“Okay.”

  


Mark had smiled; he squeezed Jackson's knee, probably trying to be reassuring, and got up to go and join Jaebum in the corner. Jackson felt a confusing mix of guilt and relief. Sure, he's relieved that Mark decided not to push it, but....

 

Why did this feel so much like lying?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys. Please check out Boy Story <3


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small Tuan family moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back with double updates so PLS READ FROM CH 38

Mark melted into the van’s seats, leaning back and letting his muscles relax as he watched the other members slowly climb inside the van. Jinyoung had his eyes on him the nanosecond he climbed in; the young Korean man took the space beside him and immediately leaned against his shoulder. Mark didn’t comment or protest, and just lightly pat Jinyoung’s cheek.

The other boys followed soon enough; Jaebum took shotgun as usual, with Jackson and Bambam engrossed in a conversation and sitting next to each other, ignoring Youngjae (who seemed to be delighted, choosing to wear his ear-ins and sleep) and Yugyeom who took his place beside Jinyoung.

 

Byungyong hyung revved the engine and began their four hour trip back to Seoul.

 

The van was relatively quiet, except for Jackson and Bambam’s discussion about marketing and memes – don’t ask – and Mark could feel Jinyoung’s steady breathing against his neck. He was bored, fingers itching to do something, but brain way too lazy to attempt a round of gaming. Still, Mark fished his phone out of his pocket anyway, and stared at the screen blankly.

 

His lockscreen, a picture of Leila kissing his cheek and Kylie hanging off of his neck with a huge smile, made him feel a bit nostalgic. He missed his nieces so much and he suddenly realizes that he hadn’t had much time to bond with Bailey, the newest addition to Tammy’s family. Conversations with her are mostly about business lately, or some form of serious talk – like him asking her about advice.

 

As if on cue though, a message came from her immediately popped up on his screen.

 

**[NEW MESSAGE] Tammy Tuan – (3)**

 

Mark clicked on the notification.

 

**Tammy Tuan**

What did you think abt Jackson’s part

03.41

It didn’t feel out of place at all

23.41

 

But I have to say that it kind of sounds like a

marriage between your song and his. I could hear

elements from Let Me and Home, but the beat

is just very Jackson.

 

I think the collab turned out great! :)

23.42

Papa said it falls into boring category?

23.42

To a general audience, yes.

It has its own market.

But your solo is relatively more acceptable

than Jackson’s.

23.42

 

It did sound very similar, though.

23.43

… we might've used the same producer

23.43

???

23.43

He introduced me to his producer, a guy called boytoy

23.43

Hahaha, what kind of a name is that

23.44

Haha I know

But they helped me a lot with polishing it

I just composed the basics

23.44

I noticed

The melody was very you

Don’t worry, sweetie. It’s not bad

Your singing voice sounded very nice too

I don’t know why you insisted you couldn’t sing

23.44

Thanks…

23.44

 

I think I need to learn and compose more

23.45

Then go ahead <3

You know we will support you.

23.45

 

Also, the girls said hi!

23.48

Omg is that my face on those cups?? Ahaha

Tell them I miss them

23.48

I will

We miss you too

Anyways, I have to go and wake the girls for

school

23.49

 

Sleep well honey

Don’t forget vitamins

You look exhausted

23.50

Thanks

Have a nice day sis

23.50

 

Mark locked his phone and let out a heavy sigh.

 

The van has turned quiet, he noticed, and Mark looked forward to see both Jackson and Bambam now busy with their own phones. He could see Bambam on Instagram, uploading a picture of a sleeping Youngjae, and Jackson is chatting with someone using hanzi because he knows for a fact that Jackson’s kanji has never really been that good.

 

Mark relaxed into his former position, allowing Jinyoung to nuzzle into his neck, and let his mind wander again.

 

His dad had called his solo ‘forgettable’. He knew that he didn’t mean it in a bad way at all; and he did understand how hard it had been to compose a catchy “rap song” – as he called it, bless him – and even applauded Mark’s quick thinking about asking Jackson for help.

 

Papa Tuan walked him through his opinions, comparing his solo with the others’, and Mark felt enlightened. Disappointed, and sad, of course, but enlightened nonetheless. He knew that his father wanted to be the best for him, and he also knows that his sadness makes no sense.

 

But he also knows exactly why he’s being a sensitive, emotional asshole. His mind just kept wandering back to --

 

_No. Stop it Mark, don't go there._

 

Mark glanced down at his phone again, staring at the black screen, and bit his inner cheek.

 

Everything's going to be okay.

 

It has to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this wasn't the update you were waiting for.  
> Also yes in my headcanon, Mark is a person who likes to name everyone in his contacts with their full names or 'formal' names, while Jackson tends to save them using nicknames.


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An intro.

“Nyoung. Jae. Do you think we’re being too obvious?”

  


Jinyoung looked up from his book, face blank but also somehow kind of condescending, and turned to see Youngjae already frowning down at Mark who was lying on the younger one’s lap. The boys were all relaxing backstage, waiting for their turn to film something.

  


It was Chuseok, and Yugyeom was in the corner talking to his parents and probably apologizing for not being able to come home for the whole duration of the celebration. Jackson was asleep on a sofa tucked a bit out of sight, and both Jaebum and Bambam are nowhere to be seen.

  


Beside him, Mark had let out a heavy sigh, looking up at the two of them from his position on Youngjae’s lap, and frowned.

  


“I mean, is it obvious me and Jackson are dating?”

  


Youngjae scoffed out a half-laugh at that, “Hyung you guys were already considered dating to the public even before you two got together. I don’t think anyone would be shocked at anything you two might do right now?”

  


Mark seemed contemplative at that, and Jinyoung stepped in.

  


“Is this what’s been bothering you for the past few weeks?”

  


Jinyoung closed his book and set it aside, ignoring how obvious the realization is visible upon Youngjae’s face, and shifted his position so he was facing the two and could give his hyung all of his attention. At the seemingly accurate question, Mark only seemed just a tiny bit surprised. He slowly got up and faced his Korean dongsaengs.

  


“Kind of. I’ve been notified of… stuff. First I thought that it was nothing because it really sounded like a far-fetched theory kind of thing, but, uh… I’m not really sure about it now.”

  


“You mean like that fan-theory video?” Youngjae asked, “You’re paranoid the fans are on to you because it’s real now?”

  


Mark nodded.

  


“But you two seem just fine to me,” the vocalist shrugged, “Nothing out of the ordinary. I kind of forget you two are together until it’s time to go home.”

  


Mark stayed silent at that, face blank as his mind raced, and Jinyoung reached out to pat the elder’s thigh. The American snapped out of his haze and somehow locked eyes with him.

  


“You’re not being obvious,” inyoung reassured him, “At least not to us. But if it really bothers you so much, you could just go watch some of our recent videos and v-lives? Just to keep track of what the fans are speculating.”

  


And seeing as that was a golden piece of advice – that Mark kind of scolded himself for because he hadn’t thought about it sooner – Mark actually went and did it. He eventually leaned just planted himself in the corner of a sofa before the shoot, scrolling through Youtube, Instagram, Twitter, and other places he might stumble upon fan-theories.

  


By the time they got called backstage to be on standby, Mark seemed more calmed and composed, having not really found anything too incriminating on the internet. Maybe Jinyoung and Youngjae were right. It’s all just a huge coincidence.

  


That calming thought soon got trampled upon, though.

  


“Mark-ssi?” a staff called as he stepped backstage, on his way to the changing rooms with the others, “Hwang Jinye-ssi is looking for you. Said to call her as soon as possible.”

  


Mark’s smile fell faster than a bag of bricks.


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crying Jackson.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATED ON THE SAME DAY AS CH 40
> 
> PLS READ FROM CH 40 if you haven't already
> 
>  
> 
> //cough I told you I'd update faster when I am properly motivated cough//

Nobody knew what was going on, but everyone knew for sure that something is wrong.

  


The boys all changed out of their clothes in relative silence, mostly out of fatigue but also out of worry. The air in the room is thick, and Jackson could feel a pair of eyes on him. Well, multiple pairs of eyes, more like, because he’s pretty sure they’re all itching to ask him about Mark.

  


Problem is, even _he_ didn’t know what it was.

  


The man in question himself didn’t provide much of an explanation either, apologizing to the guys and saying it’s more of a personal problem more than anything else. He was quiet, eerily quiet even for Mark standards, and Jackson couldn’t take it. All he wanted to do was reach out and hold him, demanding him to spill everything so they can figure a way out of it together.

  


But Mark was distant.

  


His body language screamed distress, warning everyone to leave him be, and Jackson’s subtle attempts at a conversation got swiftly ignored. Jackson couldn’t do anything more than that; he is avoiding any and all types of skinship with the older outside the comfortable walls of their homes due to his own increasing fear of sasaengs and shippers alike.

  


It killed him, being unable to hold Mark’s hand as they walked back to the van, watching as Mark stayed close to Jaebum and even climbed in the back of the van with Yugyeom and Youngjae, isolating himself in the corner.

  


It killed him even more when Mark stayed quiet and occupied during the whole ride home from their company building.

  


Jackson hated feeling helpless.

  


“Markeu,” he called out softly once behind closed doors, watching the older sit down and untie his shoelaces – a thing he rarely did, because he’d usually just toe his shoes off – and enveloped the other in a hug the second he stood up.

  


Mark replied the hug, looping an arm over one of Jackson’s shoulder, and another around his side, as they always do. He buried his face in the crook of the younger’s neck, inhaling his scent, and pressed a soft kiss against it.

  


“Sorry,” he sighed out, “You must be worried.”

  


“Very.” Jackson agreed, pulling away to look his boyfriend in the eyes, “I wish you’d tell me what’s going on.”

  


Mark wet his tongue and bit his lip.

  


“A lot,” he started hesitantly, “But, um, regarding all this? I think I can’t stay over as often as I’m doing now.”

  


Wait, what?

 

"What?"

 

Jackson frowned and stepped back, trying to look for answers by looking into Mark's face, because why the hell can he not stay over anymore? All they've been doing are filming, fanmeetings and talkshows. There's no more practice, and barely any performances, because most of them were pre-recorded, so what gives?? What could possibly be going on?

 

Hesitantly, the older stepped back as well, breaking the contact between them, and watched as Jackson’s confused frowned turned in a look of realization. The Hong Kong native is a smart man; Mark could see him put two and two together and felt immensely guilty for making Jackson also bear the consequences of his slip up. Yes,  _his_ slip up; Jackson was the one against any form of affection or contact but Mark had insisted it was fine and that they should enjoy themselves before Jackson had to fly back to China.

 

And boy, was Mark wrong.

  


“Is... Is that why you were with Jinye noona all the time, hyung?”

  


Mark nodded, and Jackson moved to sit down on the couch.

 

 

Thousands of worst case scenarios were already running through his head and he is sure his legs wont be able to support him. Was Zeyu’s chat a few days back some sort of foreshadowing? Does everybody know? Have they done something lovey dovey that they didn’t realize? Did they get carried away and a fan picked up on it? But none of the other boys mentioned anything to them? Was Mark just being paranoid? But maybe the boys have gotten too familiar with their skinship that they simply didn’t notice? That’s possible, right?

 

Oh God.

 

What if that really was the case? That means that some of the staff might’ve noticed too! No wonder it got out, they weren’t being careful and –

  


“Gaga.”

  


Mark’s firm voice sliced through his convoluted thoughts like a hot knife through butter. Looking up, Jackson watched as Mark slowly came down to his knees, keeping them on eye- level, a hand gently cradling his jaw.

  


“Stop, it’s nothing serious. It’ll be fine.”

  


“But a fan spotted us coming here together! What if – ”

  


“ _Shush_.” Mark stared him down, the tone of his voice final and calm. He spent a few seconds staring, silently challenging Jackson to open his mouth again. When he didn’t, Mark continued.

  


“It wasn’t that, Gaga. Jin – ”

  


“But you said .. !”

  


Mark outright glared this time, and Jackson actually went rigid at the intensity of the stare.

  


“Jinye noona _did_ inform me of some sasaengs spotting us coming back here every time. _But_ the pictures were blurry, and nobody can really prove anything. It’s not as if you’ve never brought friends over, right?”

  


Jackson took a breath, on the verge of answering said rhetorical question, but immediately backtracked at Mark’s pointed look.

  


“It’s fine, Gaga. I just have to go home today, and probably stop hanging out here for a while.”

  


The older sounded so steady, so confident, so _sure_ , that Jackson couldn’t help but want to nod and just do whatever the older said. His solution was logical, simple and acceptable. However, Jackson’s quick wits betrayed him.

  


“But hyung, I won’t be here for long… Only a few more weeks tops. How am I …” Jackson trailed off as he felt the tell-tale hot prickling by his eyes, and sniffled to keep the tears away.

  


“I wanna spend as much time as I can with you…”

  


The confession came in a small voice, Jackson’s husky voice making Mark nearly miss it. The younger’s shoulders were moving, the man taking deep breaths in an attempt to subdue the oncoming sobs fueled by fatigue and hunger and pure _sadness._

  


Mark leaned forward and collected him into his arms before Jackson could curl in on himself.

  


“Shh… I’m right here….”

  


The fingers running through his hair felt so, _so_ soothing, and the thought of not being able to feel them again – or being able to hold hands or lean against each other, or even _smile_ without making their current predicament worse – with only _mere inches_ separating them hurt Jackson more than anything in his life.

  


The dam broke. It just did.

  


First it was just one tear.

  


Once that one got through, though, nothing could stop the rest from following.

  


Tightening his hold, Jackson pressed himself impossibly closer to Mark, clutching the back of his shirt. He needed to be sure Mark is real and here. He needs to know Mark won’t be going anywhere. He didn’t want to let go. He couldn’t. He _wouldn’t_.

  


He couldn’t have Mark leaving him; not again.

  


“Shh, Gaga, baobei… Please don’t cry baby…”

  


“I,” hiccup, “I cant st-ahp,” hiccup, “It wo-hont stahp, hyu- hyung…”

  


Jackson’s chest started heaving against Mark’s, fueled by the intensity of his sobs, and his speech got slurred as his nose filled up with snot. He’s probably getting Mark’s nice hoodie wet and soaked, and he knows that he should probably stop, but he just cant.

  


He cant stop the tears and he honestly is too tired to.

  


Jackson is _tired_.

  


All he wants is to go to work and come home to (or in this case, with) the person he loves, to fall asleep to their face and wake up again to stinky morning breath kisses. All he wants to do is perform; dance, sing and smile on stage. But he also wants to at least be able to hold Mark’s hand without having to look over his shoulder every single second.

  


He wants to be able to _smile_ and _laugh_ with Mark without it being ‘shipped’ and shoved into his face.

  


He just wants to love, without the pressure.

  


He just wants Mark.

  


Is that really too much to ask?

  


Apparently it is, because now everything Mark has been fearing finally came true and now the older really is going to leave him for good. They just got back together – it’s barely been a month since Jackson could proudly refer to Mark as his boyfriend even if it’s just in his head and now he has to lose it all again?

  


Is fame really worth all of this?

  


“Take deep breaths, Gaga, deep breaths…”

  


Jackson could hear Mark’s soft voice whispering right into his ear – pressing soft kisses against his temple, his face, his ear, his cheek – guiding him into a state of calm.

  


It took a while, a _really_ long while, but Jackson was finally able to stop the tears and the sobs after what felt like hours. He just sat there, leaning his whole weight forward onto a kneeling Mark, loosely holding the older. He knows that Mark's holding him up and that he's probably way too heavy for the older man, but Jackson doesn't really care right now. He doesn't want to. He doesn't want to move, doesn't want to talk, stand up, or even go to bed. 

 

No.

  


Jackson is tired.

 

 

And this is where he wants to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I tried my best and I want feedback on this because it will determine how I will write Mark's part.  
> There's more to this, Mark isn't telling Jackson everything.
> 
> 1\. Does the reasoning for Jackson crying making sense?  
> 2\. Are the emotions conveyed enough? Does it reach you guys, or do you need more?  
> 3\. How do you think Mark will cry?  
> 4\. Is the conflict real, or does it seem too flimsy?  
> 5\. Also between the other Got7 members, who do you think Mark will come confide to? (I am biased and will say Jinyoung, but I wanna know what you guys think)  
> 6\. Is the length too long or too short? Dragged out or just right, or even lacking?
> 
> Thank you so much for sticking around and reading guys <3


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for this super late update.  
> I got sick and spent a week or so at the hospital...  
> I'm sorry is this chapter turned out to be anti-climactic.

Mark watched the frown on Jackson’s brow get deeper and let out a soft, tired sigh.

  


He had tried, back and forth, to try and rub that awful frown away for nearly an hour now, but it just seemed to be coming back every few minutes. It shouldn’t be surprising, considering what he’s going through right now – on top of all the other stuff he must be thinking about – but Mark just didn’t like seeing Jackson like this.

  


The older tightened his hold and nuzzled Jackson’s hair.

  


“ _This isn’t … this isn’t fair.”_

  


_Mark could hear the hesitant pause in that statement, and also saw the wince that came right after. Jackson probably thought he was being childish for saying such a thing, and Mark pretended he didn’t know where Jackson’s sudden need to seem tough (or even tougher) came from._

  


_For the moment, he pretended he didn’t know how much the label of “group clown” and “noisiest member” had bothered Jackson so much over the years, and just focused on the task at hand instead._

  


“ _What else did noona tell you?” the younger rasped out, looking up and searching Mark’s eyes, looking for something to hold on to, to_ believe _, but the older looked away under the intense gaze. Jackson didn’t want to think what the sinking feeling in his stomach meant. He had other stuff stressing him out._

  


“ _That’s all.”_

  


_Jackson’s eyes narrowed, obviously not buying it. “Hyung.”_

  


“ _I’m serious. There were blurry pictures, attempt at blackmail, a few death threats, but – ”_

  


“ _Wait, death threats_ again _?!_ Where? _!”_

  


_The Hong Kong native abruptly got to his feet, eyes wide and frantic, and Mark had to give it his all to not flinch away or curl in on himself. The last thing the wanted was to make Jackson feel that he was afraid of the younger – which he actually is, to a very small extent, but Mark is pretty sure it applies the same in reverse._

  


_Jackson did notice_ _a reflexive flinch_ _though – having spent way too much time with the older – and took a jerkily move back., away and further from him, as if afraid, as if he could hurt the older even more. Mark hated how self-conscious his boyfriend is about literally everything and immediately stepped forward the second Jackson opened his mouth._

  


“ _Shh.”_

  


_Determined,_ _H_ _h_ _pulled the younger into his arms – as best as he could from his crouching position anyway – and pressed his lips against Jackson’s softly. Jackson spread his knees, pulling the older_ _into the empty space between his legs and held the thin firm body close against his own._

  


_Jackson_ _let Mark wrap his arms around his waist, reciprocating the gesture and trying to calm himself down through his boyfriend’s comforting warmth._

  


_After_ _a_ _f_ _ew fleeting seconds, the two_ _finally_ _pulled away._

  


Mark still remembered how that kiss felt. Sure, it’s only been a few hours, but it just felt new and…

  


And sad.

  


Their kiss was sad, and Mark felt lost.

  


Now, Mark was never one to mull things over for too long. He had a tendency to push problems that he cant control to the back burner, because he believes that answers will turn up by themselves eventually.

  


This particular problem was no different. There was nothing Mark could do about the death threats, or the attempts at blackmail, or even the hate comments all addressed to him, stacked in the JYP building, or the ones in his social media DMs. Sure, a stalker almost got a hold of his phone and nearly hacked it, but that was what Jinye noona and her team was for.

  


All Mark could do is warn his family, friends and group mates.

  
All Mark could do is make sure that Jackson never ever finds or reads the stacks of hurtful and offensive “presents” and letters being delivered to their company building; the ones Jinye noona held on to because she genuinely couldn’t differentiate which gift was real and which was a trap. She knew how fond the boys are of their fans gifts but it has come to the point where she actually has to sit down together with Mark and stand by with him as he carefully opened the gifts her staff deemed safe.

  


Most of it were harmless, hurtful words or disgusting items, but ever since that accident where one of her staff got acid splattered on their hands from opening a box, Jinye just didn’t want to take any chances again, and she told Mark just that.

  


The eldest closed his eyes and focused on the warm body in his arms. He didn’t want the younger to know any of this.

  


When Jinye had asked both him and Jackson to show up and consult her about the nature of the sudden bombardment of hostile gifts addressed to the company building, Mark had immediately insisted that all gifts directed to Jackson were to go through him first and that the younger foreigner not be informed of anything at all.

  


He knew how hard it would impact him if he knew.

  


Mark had stood by and watched as Jackson gradually changed over the years, fueled by both joking and hateful comments from fans and antis. Jackson, who loved being on stage and being in the spotlight, slowly but surely became wary and self-conscious in front of any camera.

  


It happened gradually, so slowly, that Mark himself didn’t even notice it until he decided to watch their first Hard Carry show and compare it to the second.

  


The contrast was pretty jarring.

  


He then, of course, proceeded to watch every single one of their popular old videos and compare them to their most recent, and came to the conclusion that he is both an awful best friend and group mate.

  


How could he not have noticed.

  


“ _I feel selfish,” Jackson whispered into Mark’s neck as the two cuddled on his bed, “I love this. I love our fans, I love my job, I love performing. I love singing, being on stage, it’s all I ever wanted. I love meeting our fans abroad, but I just.”_

  


_Mark gently ran his fingers through the younger’s hair, hoping that it will somewhat help Jackson get his thoughts together._

  


_He continued, “I_ understand _that fans will lose interest if they feel their idols are unavailable. I also understand homophobia, I think, but. Mark. Mark, I_ love _you. Why can’t I be free to love you._

  


_I’m tired of looking over my shoulder the whole goddamn time. I’m tired of hiding_ everything _, not just you, just, just everything, and sure I understand PDA is disgusting. I know I’m loud and annoying. I know I attract too much attention, I know holding hands in public is hoping for just a bit too much, but...”_

  


I hold hands with Jinyoung and Yugyeom all the time, _Mark thought bitterly, but he held his tongue. This is Jackson’s moment._

  


“ _Why is it wrong for you to come visit me here at my apartment?”_

  


“ _It’s not.”_

  


“ _It clearly is if you’re getting death threats over it!” Jackson’s voice rose in volume, “And blackmail, and, and – what about your safety? What about_ _our family’s safety? We’re all the way here in Korea and my parents,_ your _parents, what about – ”_

  


_Mark recognized the panic in his eyes all too well and pressed his palm against Jackson’s mouth and nose to cut him off._

  


“Shush. _You’re switching. Calm_ down. _”_

  


_It was a straight-up order, something that Mark rarely every gives out, and Jackson tried to comply. The older watched as his wide eyes slowly softened while his breathing evened out, and Mark slowly removed his hand._

  


“ _Better?”_

  


_Jackson nodded. “Sorry.”_

  


_Mark shook his head, dismissing the apology, and Jackson continued._

  


“ _You were wrong, hyung. We can’t be like … like this. Not in public, at least. I know we’ve always been hiding, but, I think we should just… Just follow my plan. Just keep our distance._ _We’re official boyfriends now, right? Keeping distance shouldn’t be a problem._ _”_

  


To be very honest, Mark didn’t want that. He had felt his chest constrict painfully tight the second Jackson’s words left his mouth, and he remembered shutting down.

  


Mark remembered resigning into himself, accepting Jackson’s reasoning without a single protest. He wanted to, though. He had wanted to protest, he still does now, but the guilty look on his boyfriend’s face held him back.

  


“ _Hyung, I’m sorry. I know we’re far apart enough as it is, and I’d want nothing more than spend all my time with you here in Korea but – ”_

  


“ _Gwaenchana. It’s okay.”_

  


“ _Markeu...”_

  


“ _I get it, it’s fine.”_

  


Mark had cracked out a smile back then, because he knew that Jackson is aware of how much he’s hurting.

  


Mark had wanted nothing else but their former closeness back; the comfort and familiarity that they have been surrounding themselves with for so long. If he couldn’t have Jackson as a boyfriend, he wished to at least have him as a best friend. But Jackson was too paranoid, too scared to return any affections that came from Mark, to the point where Mark didn’t really know where the line really stood.

  


And the younger idol is fully aware of that.

  


He beats himself up over it so bad that he tries to do anything and everything Mark wanted behind the scenes, to the point where he actually gave Mark a song. His solo song.

  


And Mark couldn’t be more grateful.

  


He just wished that Jinye noona wasn’t so sharp.

  


Because now, Mark has to figure out a way to tell Jackson that the whole PR and marketing staff have caught wind of their relationship and that they might have to face JYP hyung very, very soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ
> 
> As I've written in the beginning note, I got sick and spent a week at the hospital.  
> I just wrote this out, so I apologize if this doesn't make sense or sounds shitty.  
> I'm sorry it's so anti-climactic.
> 
> I haven't recovered fully and I can't form coherent sentences haha
> 
> I have read your comments, and I thank you so much!  
> I tried taking your opinions and suggestions into account here, but I don't think it came across very well.   
> I'm sorry I haven't replied either, I will be honest and say that I simply don't have the power to write out a decent reply to you guys.
> 
> This fic will end soon-ish.
> 
> I will update again after I am feeling better (which I don't know when) but I will finish this no matter what.
> 
> Thank you so, so much for sticking by this inconsistent, shitty fic haha


	43. Chapter 43

Mark stirred his drink, watching as the diluted, bright brown of the tea swirled in the cup. Chewing on the cheesecake in his mouth, the American's mind is mind blank. Alone in the corner of the JYP building’s cafe, he sat waiting for Jinye to show up. She did atleast have the courtesy to inform her of tardiness due to an error made by an intern, so at least he wasn’t waiting for nothing.

 

His mind kept reeling back to this morning, to when Jackson had kissed him goodbye, leaving for an overnight trip to China to meet up with a producer friend of his, assuring Jaebum that he’d be back for their schedules. Mark just couldn’t help but worry. He didn’t want him to fall sick again, despite his continuous jokes of, “when am I ever really healthy, hyung, seriously?” The fact that he kept on filming even when on a high fever is enough to make Mark not want to care anymore.

 

(He won't, though. He'll always care.)

 

A tap on his shoulder, along with a soft, “hey” shook him out of his thoughts. He watched as Jinye sat down in front of him, long black hair looking a bit disheveled but her soft make-up still perfect on her face. She doesn’t look a day older than twenty-five, thirty at most, and Mark inwardly marveled at Korean skincare quality as he remembered that this married woman with two kids in front of him is, in fact, already past forty.

 

“So sorry, Mark-ssi, these interns are driving me crazy,” she sighed, putting down her bag beside her on the sofa-like chairs, before lacing her fingers together and giving the American her full attention.

 

“Okay, so, I won’t waste your time,” she started, getting straight to business, “Care to explain to me why I had to bring one of my staff to the hospital with acid burns on his hand after he opened one of the gifts meant for you and Jackson?”

 

Mark opened his mouth, but she cut him off.

 

“Don’t tell me it’s _just haters_ either. I wasn’t born yesterday. I want the whole truth. Are the rumors true?”

 

Mark contemplated his words, and decided to play it safe.

 

“Which rumors?”

 

Jinye sighed heavily. “Are you dating Jackson Wang?”

 

The unexpected bluntness of it all kinda took him by surprise, and Mark smiled sheepishly. No wonder she’s head of PR. She knows who she’s talking to and how to talk to them. Realizing that this woman probably had all the facts ready anyway, Mark decided to just be up front with her. No reason to pretend anymore, right?

 

“Well, yes,” he admitted, fiddling with the plastic cup of his tea, “And I’m sorry the rumors got so out of hand that it led to… well… all of this. I’m really sorry, noona. We tried to hide it the best we could.”

 

“Does your team leader know about this?”

 

“Yeah. The rest of GOT7 knows too. They all helped us keep everything lowkey…” he sighed, “Guess it wasn’t enough.”

 

Mark looked back down to his cup of tea, swirling it and taking a sip. Her answer, however, was one he didn’t expect.

 

“Don’t worry. It was a wild guess.”

 

“What?”

 

“You and Jackson are very close. But so are those two from the JJProject, and Chan and Felix, and those two from Stray Kids who seem to be always cuddling and kissing each other’s cheeks for fun. And that Sana girl always tries to kiss and hug everyone, too.”

 

She paused, as a waitress came by to hand her a cup of what smelt like coffee.

 

“My point is, everyone in this building has seen enough platonic romance, and this isn’t the first time we’ve received dangerous packages dedicated to condemning ships sasaengs believe to be real.” She took a sip of her coffee. “What gave it away was how you insisted on keeping Jackson-ssi out of this.”

 

Mark could only stare as the woman in front of her continued to show him proof of her true age.

 

“I’m married, Mark-ssi, I know acts of love when I see it,” she stated, giving him a small smile. “I just wanted to know for myself, because I hate being kept in the dark. I can’t do my job right if I don’t know why I’m doing it. Now that I know, I can talk to the other marketing staff and see what we can do to stop these rumors from growing out of hand. I assume you haven’t told JYP-nim either?”

 

Mark shook his head, and she acknowledged him with a nod.

 

“I assume you don’t want to, either?”

 

“Not for the time being, no.”

 

She took her time, seemingly contemplating something, and then nodded to herself. “Alright then, I guess there are a few things I can do. Just expect yourself to be paired up away from Jackson for the next few schedules you two have left together.”

 

The impact of her words immediately showed. The heavy feeling in Mark’s stomach seemed to lift, and he somehow felt indebted. She is doing something she has no obligation to, all for the sake for her company’s artist’ relationship, and Mark didn’t know what to say. Jinye took another sip from her cup, before taking it in hand and preparing to stand up. Mark however, reached out and tapped the back of hand.

 

“Noona, why… Are you helping us, though?”

 

She sat back down and frowned at him. “You’re my responsibility. All JYP artists are.”

 

“No, I mean. I thought that … that you would’ve told one of the higher-ups by now… Or at least make me and Jackson confess to JYP-nim, or something like that? I mean, like…”

 

“You mean you thought I would be more angry and disgusted than cooperative?” she deadpanned, and Mark was caught off guard. He internally cringed at her harsh words, but yeah, that was pretty much the gist of it. Mark nodded slowly, and Jihye sighed.

 

“First things first, I don’t support same-sex relationships.” She looked Mark dead in the eye when she said this, and that somehow made Mark feel at ease. This woman didn't beat around the bush like most Koreans do, and her bluntness served as a nice reaffirmation to him.

 

“No offense, I personally don’t think it’s right. But I’m not against it either. It’s your private life. Your decisions are yours, and love is love. You’re happy, so why not?” she shrugged, more to herself than Mark, and got up for real this time, offering him a gentle, motherly smile.

 

“My job is to keep up JYP’s reputation and all of its artists, not ratting out their private lives to my bosses. Now, I have to go pick up my kid from school, and I am almost late. I’ll keep you updated if any other presents makes itself known. Have a nice day, Mark-ssi.”

 

And with that, she left, not really giving Mark a chance to stand up and bow to her as she left, either. He watched as she walked out of the cafe, phone already pressed to her ear, leaving him to sit alone at the table to mull his thoughts over.

 

Now, all that's left to do is talk to Jackson.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it looks rushed...  
> Yes, I did rush this. I have no idea how to end this. There is nothing much to write about, though, because Markson is obviously going strong again (as we can see in Hard Carry 2 and in Lullaby promo events and even their insta posts)  
> I also am back with a huge writer's block due to stress...
> 
> I will only be updated JJProject's SOBER story bc it's already pre-written.

**Author's Note:**

> For you new Ahgases :  
> Everything here (except the romance and the "staff" names) is real.
> 
> 1\. Mark launched a limited clothing line, with Bambam's help. He worked with 3rd Sibling and Represent.  
> 2\. Yugyeom has trouble sleeping alone. On tours, he shares hotel rooms with Mark. I think he even has a plushie? But I'm not sure.  
> 3\. Jackson has his own team in China, called Team Wang. His work in China is allegedly unrelated to his JYP work.  
> 4\. JYP has a "label project". The one in Thailand is overseen by 2PM's Nichkhun, and he has plans for one each in China, Japan and America as well.  
> 5\. Jackson is constantly "sick" due to overworking. He fainted on shows a couple of times, went through filming with a fever, went on stage with a fever, etc  
> 6\. Mark received death threats from Thai Jackbam fans. No joke.  
> 7\. Raymond Tuan, Mark's dad, actually Tweeted about Mark's 2-year contract thing. I personally think he's concerned because Mark hasn't been particularly active, especially compared to his group mates.  
> 8\. Jackson helped in the making of Mark's solo, OMW, and even got a part in it.  
> 9\. Yes, Bambam got himself another cat, named King. The one before this is named Cupcake. Idk how many cats he owns at this point, probably five.  
> 10\. Yes Mark went to Beijing for a modeling gig. GOT7 also went to Hong Kong for their tour, and filmed Hard Carry there.  
> 11\. Jackson "adopted" Yu Zeyu, a member from Boystory, as his little brother. There are posts of them hanging out like brothers do, and it is adorable.
> 
> So yeah, I'm trying to make this fic as canon-compliant as I possibly can.


End file.
